Effort Does Not Change The Person
El esfuerzo no cambia a la persona--por Anthony De Mello
El esfuerzo puede cambiar el comportamiento, pero no cambia a la persona. Sólo piensa qué clase de mentalidad delata cuando preguntas: '¿Qué debo hacer para alcanzar la santidad?' ¿No es como preguntar cuánto dinero debo gastar para comprar algo? ¿Qué sacrificio debo hacer? ¿Qué disciplina debo tener? ¿Qué meditación debo practicar para conseguirlo? Piensa en un hombre que quiere ganarse el amor de una mujer e intenta mejorar su apariencia, fortalecer su cuerpo o cambiar su comportamiento y practicar técnicas para cautivarla.
Realmente te ganas el amor de los demás no mediante la práctica de técnicas sino siendo un determinado tipo de persona. Y eso nunca se consigue a base de esfuerzo y técnicas. Y lo mismo ocurre con la espiritualidad y la santidad. No lo que haces es lo que te trae. Éste no es un bien que se pueda comprar ni un premio que se pueda ganar. Lo que importa es lo que eres, en lo que te conviertes.
La santidad no es un logro; es una gracia. Una gracia llamada conciencia, una gracia llamada mirar, observar, comprender. Si tan solo encendieras la luz de la conciencia y te observaras a ti mism@ y a todo lo que te rodea a lo largo del día, si te vieras reflejad@ en el espejo de la conciencia de la misma manera que ves tu rostro reflejado en un espejo, es decir, con precisión y claridad. , exactamente como es, sin la más mínima distorsión o adición, y si observaras este reflejo sin ningún juicio o condena, experimentarías toda clase de cambios maravillosos que se producirían en ti. Sólo que no tendrás el control de esos cambios, ni podrás planificarlos con antelación, ni decidir cómo y cuándo tendrán lugar. Es sólo esta conciencia sin prejuicios la que sana, cambia y hace que un@ crezca. Pero a su manera y en su momento.
¿De qué debes estar consciente específicamente? Tus reacciones y tus relaciones. Cada vez que estás en presencia de una persona, de cualquier persona, o de la Naturaleza o de cualquier situación particular, tienes todo tipo de reacciones, positivas y negativas. Estudia esas reacciones, observa qué son exactamente y de dónde vienen, sin sermoneos ni culpas ni siquiera ningún deseo y mucho menos esfuerzo por cambiarlas. Eso es todo lo que se necesita para que surja la santidad.
¿La conciencia te traerá la santidad que tanto deseas? Si y no. El hecho es que nunca lo sabrás. Para la verdadera santidad, la que no se logra a través de técnicas, esfuerzos y represión, la verdadera santidad es completamente inconsciente. No tendrías la más mínima conciencia de su existencia en ti. Además, no te importará, porque incluso la ambición de ser santo habrá disminuido a medida que vivas de momento en momento una vida que se vuelve plena, feliz y transparente a través de la conciencia. Os basta con estar alerta y despiert@s. Porque en este estado tus ojos verán la [verdad]. Nada más, pero absolutamente nada más. Ni la seguridad, ni el amor, ni la pertenencia, ni la belleza, ni el poder, ni la santidad; ya nada más importará.
Preguntas semilla para la reflexión: ¿Cómo te relacionas con la noción de que el esfuerzo no cambia a la persona? ¿Puedes compartir una historia personal de alguna ocasión en la que pudiste ir más allá de una mentalidad transaccional de logro y abrirte a la gracia? ¿Qué te ayuda a ser consciente de tus reacciones y de tus relaciones?
Anthony de Mello fue un maestro espiritual, escritor y orador público.
Anthony de Mello was a spiritual teacher, writer and public speaker.
SEED QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION: How do you relate to the notion that effort does not change the person? Can you share a personal story of a time you were able to go beyond a transactional mindset of achievement and open into grace? What helps you be aware of your reactions and your relationships?
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19 Past Reflections
On Jan 26, 2024 Debbie Podwika wrote :
First of all this is a very confusing post, especially towards the end. Next, my career being in psychology, effort and proper techniques done consistently over time do change people. How does one look, become aware, observe, or understand without effort? And not all techniques of doing the previously mentioned work as well as others. Further just because one observes and perhaps truly sees themself, especially their flaws, does that mean in my opinion they're holy. Many people see their flaws, know them, and admit them and say yeah I don't care I do not believe those people are holy. I believe those who do see areas where they can improve or even areas in society that need improvement and do everything they can to help improve society along with themselves are holy. Helping society a transformation happens in themselves and as that transformation happens in themselves they help society and even more ways that is truly holy.
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On Jan 16, 2024 Susana Catarina wrote :
Boa tarde. Passei muito tempo da minha vida tentando agradar, cuidar, fazer pelo outro, sem me dar conta que o que deveria realmente importar era o "eu", não de maneira egoísta, mas verdadeiramente me cuidar, me amar, me respeitar para aí então passar adiante.
Hoje com 56 anos sei o que quero, quem eu sou, e tendo a certeza de que tenho muito a aprender, crescer, evoluir. Acredito que fomos criados para sermos luz e iluminarmos, Acredito que Deus tem um propósito para cada um. Em 2018, no nono mês de gravidez minha nora sofreu um aborto, foi a pior experiência, mas com tudo acontecendo muito rápido e sem entendermos direito o que havia acontecido, senti algo muito forte em meu coração um versículo bíblico, senti a paz que excede todo entendimento. Parecia sem explicação, mas sentia-me tão tranquila e em paz como se alguém me carregasse no colo.
Quando estamos abertos a sentir, a receber e a dar, somos acolhidos e podemos acolher de maneira total.
Hoje com 56 anos sei o que quero, quem eu sou, e tendo a certeza de que tenho muito a aprender, crescer, evoluir. Acredito que fomos criados para sermos luz e iluminarmos, Acredito que Deus tem um propósito para cada um. Em 2018, no nono mês de gravidez minha nora sofreu um aborto, foi a pior experiência, mas com tudo acontecendo muito rápido e sem entendermos direito o que havia acontecido, senti algo muito forte em meu coração um versículo bíblico, senti a paz que excede todo entendimento. Parecia sem explicação, mas sentia-me tão tranquila e em paz como se alguém me carregasse no colo.
Quando estamos abertos a sentir, a receber e a dar, somos acolhidos e podemos acolher de maneira total.
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On Jan 16, 2024 Gail wrote :
This, as it is stated, is unconditional love for self. This, then, is transformational.
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On Jan 16, 2024 anneke campbell wrote :
The Dali Lama says: Effort, Effort, Effort.
So he presents a different point of view, that the looking, observing, understanding and honing the light of one's awareness, indeed takes effort.
So he presents a different point of view, that the looking, observing, understanding and honing the light of one's awareness, indeed takes effort.
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On Jan 16, 2024 Mukti Fiona wrote :
I have to share that this kind of journey can be hard if you expect life to be a certain way. I have ‘bought into’ BEING GUIDED, following what I have been CALLED to allow unfold in my life. Being AWARE has uprooted me, changed my family dynamic, motivated me to be driven to learn, build and undertake surprising projects. I’m unsure where I’m headed, but seem to surpass my set intentions (or they are met in ways I had not thought possible). The word ACHIEVE is something I must have rejected from childhood, because it doesn’t mean anything to me. I seem to be satisfied with putting in a good day of mindful work, and have proven to myself that that is enough, that I’m headed in the right direction, headed towards a mysterious destination, with intentions strung in a row. All I can say is that it doesn’t always sit well with me, or my friends and family. It’s not a conventional path. It’s taken a lot of faith and some loneliness along the way, ever reassured by my allowi... [View Full Comment]
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On Jan 16, 2024 David Feldmam wrote :
Right on brother. Living with lots of animals helps. They are wondrous beings
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On Jan 16, 2024 Anil Pandit wrote :
That's indeed to know oneself. Nothing is holier than thou.
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On Jan 16, 2024 Rohit Gohil wrote :
This is a welcome reminder for me that effort can change behaviour but not who we truely are. Who we truely are is gradually revealed through awareness of the unity, purity and divinity that exists within each of us and around us but which is veiled or covered by our limiting beliefs, opinions, likes and dislikes, regrets of the past and anxiety about the future. That stops present moment awareness, because we become so engrossed in "human doings" on auto pilot rather than existing consciously as "human beings". As Anthony De Mello says "... to be watchful and awake" is enough. Being fully present is awareness. He goes on to say.."...A grace called awareness, a grace called looking, observing, understanding. .......It is this non-judgmental awareness alone that heals and changes and makes one grow. But in its own way and at its own time."
1 reply: Mukti | Post Your Reply
On Jan 15, 2024 Jagannatha Das wrote :
Coming across this article is another of those serendipities that truly amazes me.
I've been doing some kind of meditation for some time sporadically Sometimes more dilligent and consistent for a while. And then I would stop. Frustrated that I did not become "enlightened" after all those hours I've put into it.
Then about five years ago, I had a burnout. I was ontreatment and theraphy for more than a year. During this time, I was re-introduced to mindfulness meditation. I learned different techniques. But the one that I stilluse is the Mindfulness App with Melli O'Brien.
It is actually a straight forward breathing observationmeditation. In fact, I was quite sceptical at the beginning because I was honestly not very comfortable with her girlish voice. There are other mentors in that app. And I alo tried some of them. But then I thought, if I want to do this long term, I should stick to a method and not try evrything but continue with none.
So I stuck with Melli. I became a... [View Full Comment]
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On Jan 14, 2024 Shyam wrote :
Do remember a pilgrimage where all the pilgrims are usually saints . I had undertaken it just to experience the grace of God.
I had seen saints and would try and be like them.
What I realised was, the authenticity
and the natural flow of love was not there.
Then I stopped trying and In a simple way started being in love , in gratitude of everything received, in awe of the gifts nature was bestowing upon me, the realisation of what nature and my life was trying to teach , and then I could sense a natural change happening within me.
I had seen saints and would try and be like them.
What I realised was, the authenticity
and the natural flow of love was not there.
Then I stopped trying and In a simple way started being in love , in gratitude of everything received, in awe of the gifts nature was bestowing upon me, the realisation of what nature and my life was trying to teach , and then I could sense a natural change happening within me.
1 reply: Gururaj | Post Your Reply
On Jan 12, 2024 Jagdish P dave wrote :
Spirituality or holiness or selfless love cannot be obtained by making efforts. They are states of Being, not becoming. Becoming is like a behavor that can be acquired, channged, or modified. Spirituality is isness, presence, realty, truth, tathata as the Buddha says. It is formless, shapeless, sizeless, nameless and timeless. It is eternal. It is transcendental. We cannot purchase it or sell it. It is not a commodity. It is beyond a transactional mindset.
Spirituality is always present. It is like light that always shines. It is like love that never dies. I need to be awake to see it and experience it. When I get binded by my self-centered and selfish eyes, I lose it. When I crave for it and try to hold it, I lose it. It is always present in my inner home, inner being.
What helps me remain aware of this reality? When things do not go the way I want I become aware of how I am affected by not acquring what I wanted. I create a space between the triggering stimulus and my response... [View Full Comment]
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On Jan 12, 2024 David Doane wrote :
I think there is the person which is the public image or mask, and there is real inner self. Effort changes the public image but does not change inner real self. The real inner self is whole and good and doesn't need any changing, and our challenge is to allow and become what we really are. Like the author says, that is becoming holy. I think transactional mindset of achievement means goal-directed efforts to make happen what I want to happen. I go beyond that when I let go of trying to control outcome and do what I believe is right action in the moment. What helps me be aware of my reactions and relationships is valuing them, paying close attention without judgment or prejudice, knowing that existence is relationship, and knowing my reactions and how I relate make a difference.
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On Jan 11, 2024 Nisha wrote :
Effort has opened up a world to me which has led me to understand that it is grace. When my father passed away amidst what seemed like a set of unfortunate circumstances, I felt the family so touched by grace that his passing became a celebration. When something goes off key and feel dissonance inside, I become aware of the reaction. When a moment of gratitude arises, I become aware of the relationship(s).
1 reply: Mukti | Post Your Reply
On Jan 11, 2024 khanna wrote :
Often as managers we are too frequently prone to the latest 'craze', trainings, or "buzz word." Several years ago, the "buzz" centered around emotional intelligence. Perhaps, it can be taught, perhaps, it is a trait that can be learned and practiced. However, there are others, who intuitively know what another may need? It is not something taught, it is intuitive....It is blissful and a feeling of being heard, being understood, being welcomed is often felt by the receiver. Some individuals have that gift. Perhaps it can be taught, but more than likely it is already within.