Effort Does Not Change The Person
प्रयास से व्यक्ति नहीं बदलता- एंथोनी डी मेलो द्वारा
प्रयास व्यवहार को बदल सकता है लेकिन व्यक्ति को नहीं बदलता। ज़रा सोचिए कि यह किस तरह की मानसिकता को दर्शाता है जब आप पूछते हैं, 'पवित्रता पाने के लिए मुझे क्या करना चाहिए?' क्या ये यह पूछने जैसा नहीं है कि कोई चीज़ खरीदने के लिए मुझे कितना पैसा खर्च करना होगा? मुझे क्या बलिदान देना होगा? मुझे कौन सा अनुशासन अपनाना चाहिए? इसे पाने के लिए मुझे किस ध्यान का अभ्यास करना चाहिए? एक ऐसे पुरुष के बारे में सोचें जो किसी महिला का प्यार जीतना चाहता है और अपने भेष में सुधार करना चाहता है या अपना शरीर आकर्षक बनाना चाहता है या उसे आकर्षित करने के लिए अपने व्यवहार और अभ्यास तकनीकों को बदलना चाहता है।
आप वास्तव में तकनीकों के अभ्यास से नहीं बल्कि एक खास तरह का इंसान बनकर दूसरों का प्यार जीतते हैं। और वह प्रयास और तकनीकों से कभी हासिल नहीं होता। और ऐसा ही आध्यात्मिकता और पवित्रता के साथ भी है। आपके कुछ करने से वह आपके पास नहीं आता है। यह कोई वस्तु नहीं है जिसे कोई खरीद सकता है या कोई पुरस्कार नहीं है जिसे कोई जीत सकता है। मायने यह रखता है कि आप क्या हैं, क्या बन जाते हैं।
पवित्रता कोई उपलब्धि नहीं है; यह एक कृपा है। एक अनुग्रह जिसे जागरूकता कहा जाता है, एक अनुग्रह जिसे देखना, निरीक्षण करना, समझना कहा जाता है। यदि आप केवल जागरूकता की रोशनी जलाएंगे और पूरे दिन खुद का और अपने आस-पास की हर चीज का निरीक्षण करेंगे, यदि आप खुद को जागरूकता के दर्पण में उसी तरह से प्रतिबिंबित देखेंगे जैसे आप शीशे में अपना चेहरा देखते हैं, यानी सटीक रूप से, स्पष्ट रूप से , ठीक वैसे ही जैसे यह थोड़ी सी भी विकृति या जोड़ के बिना है, और यदि आपने बिना किसी निर्णय या निंदा के इस प्रतिबिंब को देखा, तो आप अपने अंदर आने वाले सभी प्रकार के अद्भुत परिवर्तनों का अनुभव करेंगे। केवल आप उन परिवर्तनों के नियंत्रण में नहीं होंगे, या उनकी पहले से योजना नहीं बना पाएंगे, या यह तय नहीं कर पाएंगे कि वे कैसे और कब होंगे। यह एकल गैर-निर्णयात्मक जागरूकता ही किसी को ठीक करती है, बदलती है और विकसित करती है। लेकिन अपने तरीके से और अपने समय पर।
आपको विशेष रूप से किस चीज़ से अवगत रहना है? आपकी प्रतिक्रियाएँ और आपके रिश्ते से। हर बार जब आप किसी व्यक्ति, किसी भी व्यक्ति, या प्रकृति या किसी विशेष स्थिति में होते हैं, तो आपके पास सकारात्मक और नकारात्मक, सभी प्रकार की प्रतिक्रियाएं होती हैं। उन प्रतिक्रियाओं का अध्ययन करें, निरीक्षण करें कि वे वास्तव में क्या हैं और वे कहाँ से आती हैं, बिना किसी उपदेश या अपराध बोध या यहाँ तक कि किसी इच्छा के, उन्हें बदलने का प्रयास तो बिल्कुल भी नहीं करना है। पवित्रता उत्पन्न होने के लिए बस यही सब कुछ आवश्यक है।
क्या जागरूकता आपको वह पवित्रता दिलाएगी जो आप चाहते हैं? हां और ना। सच तो यह है कि आपको कभी पता नहीं चलेगा। सच्ची पवित्रता के लिए, वह जो तकनीकों और प्रयासों और दमन के माध्यम से प्राप्त नहीं की जा सकती, सच्ची पवित्रता पूरी तरह से अचेतन है। आपको अपने अंदर इसके अस्तित्व के बारे में थोड़ी सी भी जागरूकता नहीं होगी। इसके अलावा आपको कोई परवाह नहीं होगी, क्योंकि जैसे-जैसे आप जागरूकता के माध्यम से पूर्ण, खुशहाल और पारदर्शी जीवन जीते रहेंगे, पवित्र होने की महत्वाकांक्षा भी कम हो जाएगी। आपके लिए सतर्क और जागृत रहना ही काफी है। क्योंकि इस अवस्था में आपकी आंखें सच्चाई देखेंगी। और कुछ नहीं, बिलकुल भी नहीं । सुरक्षा नहीं, प्रेम नहीं, अपनापन नहीं, सुंदरता नहीं, शक्ति नहीं, पवित्रता नहीं - और कुछ भी अब मायने नहीं रखेगा।
विचार के लिए मूल प्रश्न: आप इस धारणा से कैसे संबंधित हैं कि प्रयास व्यक्ति को नहीं बदलता है? क्या आप उस समय की कोई व्यक्तिगत कहानी साझा कर सकते हैं जब आप उपलब्धि की लेन-देन संबंधी मानसिकता से परे जाकर अनुग्रह में खुलने में सक्षम थे? आपको अपनी प्रतिक्रियाओं और अपने रिश्तों के बारे में जागरूक होने में क्या मदद करता है?
एंथोनी डी मेलो एक आध्यात्मिक शिक्षक, लेखक और सार्वजनिक वक्ता थे।
Anthony de Mello was a spiritual teacher, writer and public speaker.
SEED QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION: How do you relate to the notion that effort does not change the person? Can you share a personal story of a time you were able to go beyond a transactional mindset of achievement and open into grace? What helps you be aware of your reactions and your relationships?
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19 Past Reflections
On Jan 26, 2024 Debbie Podwika wrote :
First of all this is a very confusing post, especially towards the end. Next, my career being in psychology, effort and proper techniques done consistently over time do change people. How does one look, become aware, observe, or understand without effort? And not all techniques of doing the previously mentioned work as well as others. Further just because one observes and perhaps truly sees themself, especially their flaws, does that mean in my opinion they're holy. Many people see their flaws, know them, and admit them and say yeah I don't care I do not believe those people are holy. I believe those who do see areas where they can improve or even areas in society that need improvement and do everything they can to help improve society along with themselves are holy. Helping society a transformation happens in themselves and as that transformation happens in themselves they help society and even more ways that is truly holy.
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On Jan 16, 2024 Susana Catarina wrote :
Boa tarde. Passei muito tempo da minha vida tentando agradar, cuidar, fazer pelo outro, sem me dar conta que o que deveria realmente importar era o "eu", não de maneira egoísta, mas verdadeiramente me cuidar, me amar, me respeitar para aí então passar adiante.
Hoje com 56 anos sei o que quero, quem eu sou, e tendo a certeza de que tenho muito a aprender, crescer, evoluir. Acredito que fomos criados para sermos luz e iluminarmos, Acredito que Deus tem um propósito para cada um. Em 2018, no nono mês de gravidez minha nora sofreu um aborto, foi a pior experiência, mas com tudo acontecendo muito rápido e sem entendermos direito o que havia acontecido, senti algo muito forte em meu coração um versículo bíblico, senti a paz que excede todo entendimento. Parecia sem explicação, mas sentia-me tão tranquila e em paz como se alguém me carregasse no colo.
Quando estamos abertos a sentir, a receber e a dar, somos acolhidos e podemos acolher de maneira total.
Hoje com 56 anos sei o que quero, quem eu sou, e tendo a certeza de que tenho muito a aprender, crescer, evoluir. Acredito que fomos criados para sermos luz e iluminarmos, Acredito que Deus tem um propósito para cada um. Em 2018, no nono mês de gravidez minha nora sofreu um aborto, foi a pior experiência, mas com tudo acontecendo muito rápido e sem entendermos direito o que havia acontecido, senti algo muito forte em meu coração um versículo bíblico, senti a paz que excede todo entendimento. Parecia sem explicação, mas sentia-me tão tranquila e em paz como se alguém me carregasse no colo.
Quando estamos abertos a sentir, a receber e a dar, somos acolhidos e podemos acolher de maneira total.
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On Jan 16, 2024 Gail wrote :
This, as it is stated, is unconditional love for self. This, then, is transformational.
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On Jan 16, 2024 anneke campbell wrote :
The Dali Lama says: Effort, Effort, Effort.
So he presents a different point of view, that the looking, observing, understanding and honing the light of one's awareness, indeed takes effort.
So he presents a different point of view, that the looking, observing, understanding and honing the light of one's awareness, indeed takes effort.
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On Jan 16, 2024 Mukti Fiona wrote :
I have to share that this kind of journey can be hard if you expect life to be a certain way. I have ‘bought into’ BEING GUIDED, following what I have been CALLED to allow unfold in my life. Being AWARE has uprooted me, changed my family dynamic, motivated me to be driven to learn, build and undertake surprising projects. I’m unsure where I’m headed, but seem to surpass my set intentions (or they are met in ways I had not thought possible). The word ACHIEVE is something I must have rejected from childhood, because it doesn’t mean anything to me. I seem to be satisfied with putting in a good day of mindful work, and have proven to myself that that is enough, that I’m headed in the right direction, headed towards a mysterious destination, with intentions strung in a row. All I can say is that it doesn’t always sit well with me, or my friends and family. It’s not a conventional path. It’s taken a lot of faith and some loneliness along the way, ever reassured by my allowi... [View Full Comment]
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On Jan 16, 2024 David Feldmam wrote :
Right on brother. Living with lots of animals helps. They are wondrous beings
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On Jan 16, 2024 Anil Pandit wrote :
That's indeed to know oneself. Nothing is holier than thou.
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On Jan 16, 2024 Rohit Gohil wrote :
This is a welcome reminder for me that effort can change behaviour but not who we truely are. Who we truely are is gradually revealed through awareness of the unity, purity and divinity that exists within each of us and around us but which is veiled or covered by our limiting beliefs, opinions, likes and dislikes, regrets of the past and anxiety about the future. That stops present moment awareness, because we become so engrossed in "human doings" on auto pilot rather than existing consciously as "human beings". As Anthony De Mello says "... to be watchful and awake" is enough. Being fully present is awareness. He goes on to say.."...A grace called awareness, a grace called looking, observing, understanding. .......It is this non-judgmental awareness alone that heals and changes and makes one grow. But in its own way and at its own time."
1 reply: Mukti | Post Your Reply
On Jan 15, 2024 Jagannatha Das wrote :
Coming across this article is another of those serendipities that truly amazes me.
I've been doing some kind of meditation for some time sporadically Sometimes more dilligent and consistent for a while. And then I would stop. Frustrated that I did not become "enlightened" after all those hours I've put into it.
Then about five years ago, I had a burnout. I was ontreatment and theraphy for more than a year. During this time, I was re-introduced to mindfulness meditation. I learned different techniques. But the one that I stilluse is the Mindfulness App with Melli O'Brien.
It is actually a straight forward breathing observationmeditation. In fact, I was quite sceptical at the beginning because I was honestly not very comfortable with her girlish voice. There are other mentors in that app. And I alo tried some of them. But then I thought, if I want to do this long term, I should stick to a method and not try evrything but continue with none.
So I stuck with Melli. I became a... [View Full Comment]
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On Jan 14, 2024 Shyam wrote :
Do remember a pilgrimage where all the pilgrims are usually saints . I had undertaken it just to experience the grace of God.
I had seen saints and would try and be like them.
What I realised was, the authenticity
and the natural flow of love was not there.
Then I stopped trying and In a simple way started being in love , in gratitude of everything received, in awe of the gifts nature was bestowing upon me, the realisation of what nature and my life was trying to teach , and then I could sense a natural change happening within me.
I had seen saints and would try and be like them.
What I realised was, the authenticity
and the natural flow of love was not there.
Then I stopped trying and In a simple way started being in love , in gratitude of everything received, in awe of the gifts nature was bestowing upon me, the realisation of what nature and my life was trying to teach , and then I could sense a natural change happening within me.
1 reply: Gururaj | Post Your Reply
On Jan 12, 2024 Jagdish P dave wrote :
Spirituality or holiness or selfless love cannot be obtained by making efforts. They are states of Being, not becoming. Becoming is like a behavor that can be acquired, channged, or modified. Spirituality is isness, presence, realty, truth, tathata as the Buddha says. It is formless, shapeless, sizeless, nameless and timeless. It is eternal. It is transcendental. We cannot purchase it or sell it. It is not a commodity. It is beyond a transactional mindset.
Spirituality is always present. It is like light that always shines. It is like love that never dies. I need to be awake to see it and experience it. When I get binded by my self-centered and selfish eyes, I lose it. When I crave for it and try to hold it, I lose it. It is always present in my inner home, inner being.
What helps me remain aware of this reality? When things do not go the way I want I become aware of how I am affected by not acquring what I wanted. I create a space between the triggering stimulus and my response... [View Full Comment]
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On Jan 12, 2024 David Doane wrote :
I think there is the person which is the public image or mask, and there is real inner self. Effort changes the public image but does not change inner real self. The real inner self is whole and good and doesn't need any changing, and our challenge is to allow and become what we really are. Like the author says, that is becoming holy. I think transactional mindset of achievement means goal-directed efforts to make happen what I want to happen. I go beyond that when I let go of trying to control outcome and do what I believe is right action in the moment. What helps me be aware of my reactions and relationships is valuing them, paying close attention without judgment or prejudice, knowing that existence is relationship, and knowing my reactions and how I relate make a difference.
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On Jan 11, 2024 Nisha wrote :
Effort has opened up a world to me which has led me to understand that it is grace. When my father passed away amidst what seemed like a set of unfortunate circumstances, I felt the family so touched by grace that his passing became a celebration. When something goes off key and feel dissonance inside, I become aware of the reaction. When a moment of gratitude arises, I become aware of the relationship(s).
1 reply: Mukti | Post Your Reply
On Jan 11, 2024 khanna wrote :
Often as managers we are too frequently prone to the latest 'craze', trainings, or "buzz word." Several years ago, the "buzz" centered around emotional intelligence. Perhaps, it can be taught, perhaps, it is a trait that can be learned and practiced. However, there are others, who intuitively know what another may need? It is not something taught, it is intuitive....It is blissful and a feeling of being heard, being understood, being welcomed is often felt by the receiver. Some individuals have that gift. Perhaps it can be taught, but more than likely it is already within.