Forgiveness
क्षमा दान द्वारा वेन डायेरक्षमा दान , सबसे बड़ी चीज़ है जो आप अपनी जीवन पद्धति एवं अपने अध्यात्मिक विकास के लिए कर सकते हैं, और यह देखा गया है कि चूँकि है हमारा अहम् ही हम पर राज करता है इसलिए ये हमें सबसे कम प्रिय लगता है | शायद क्षमा करने की प्रक्रिया कि एक धारणा बन गयी है और वो ये है कि हम मान जाते हैं कि सब ठीक है और हम तुम्हारी गलत कृति को न चाहते हुए भी अपना रहे हैं| पर क्षमा दान का ये अर्थ नहीं है|
क्षमा दान का यह अर्थ है कि हम अपने आप को प्रेम से भर लें, और हम उस प्रेम भाव को बाहर की ओर भेजें, और हम उस नफरत के ज़हर को पकडे रहने को नकारें, जो शायद उस बर्ताव से पैदा हुई, जिसने हमें मानसिक या भावात्मक पीड़ा पहुंचाई थी | क्षमा दान , आपका अपने आप से प्रेम का एक अध्यात्मिक कृत्य है, और ये सबको यह सन्देश देता है , जिसमे आप स्वयं भी शामिल हैं, कि आप प्रेम से ही बनी वस्तु हैं, और इसी प्रेम को ही आप बाँट रहे होंगे |
ये एक प्रक्रिया है, पुराने जख्मों से पीछा छुड़ाने की , ताकि हम उन्हें अपने साथ एक पुरस्कारिक संपत्ति की तरह न लटकाए रखें| इसका अर्थ है “ पर दोष “( blame) एवं “आत्म तरस” ( self -pity) की भाषा से छुटकारा और अपने पुराने जख्मों एवं पूर्व में लगी चोट को अपने जीवन में आगे न रखने का विचार | इसका अर्थ है निजी तौर पे क्षमा दे देना और किसी और से उसे समझने के लिए न कहना| इसका अर्थ है” आँख -के -बदले-आँख” कि पद्धति को पीछे छोडना , जिससे पीड़ा बढती है और बदले की ही भावना बढती रहती है, और उसके बदले प्रेम और क्षमा दान का भाव अपना लेना | जितने भी धार्मिक संगठनों के अध्यात्मिक साहित्य हमारे पास उपलब्ध हैं, वो इसी राह की तारीफ करते हैं|
अपने आपको सम्मान योग्य महसूस करना , अपने गहरे जीवन उपयोगी मूल्यों पर, अडिग रहने के लिए अति आवश्यक है| यह एक बिलकुल ही सरल समझ में आने वाली बात है| अगर आप यह मान ही नहीं रहे की आप किसी चीज़ के लायक हैं, तो वो दैविक शक्ति , जो सबमे निवास करती है, क्यों उसे आपके पास भेजेगी? अतः आप इस बात को जानने लग जाएँ कि आप एवं दैविक शक्ति, एक ही हैं, और ये सिर्फ आपका अहम् है, जो साज़िश करता रहता है , आपको अपने जीवन में, इस शक्ति की पहचान से दूर रखने के लिए|
मनन के लिए मूल प्रश्न : क्षमा दान आपके लिए क्या मायने रखता है ? क्या आप ऐसे समय की एक निजी कहानी साझा कर सकते हैं जब आपने पर दोष ( blame) एवं आत्मा तरस ( self pity ) की भाषा को त्याग दिया हो ? आपको घृणा के बदले प्रेम चुनने में किस चीज़ से मदद मिलती है?
Wayne Dyer was an American self-help author and a motivational speaker.
SEED QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION: What does forgiveness mean to you? Can you share a personal story of a time you let go of the language of blame and self-pity? What helps you choose love over hatred?
Add Your Reflection
19 Past Reflections
On Jun 15, 2023 Sher M wrote :
yes, u right it's a very good thing one thing is important this changes our behavior.
Post Your Reply
On Jun 14, 2023 francis dacosta wrote :
"Dont let those emotions rent space in your head". A priest said this in a sermon and it stuck.
Post Your Reply
On Jun 14, 2023 Bidyut Nath wrote :
For a very long time - my forgiveness was always with anger. A justification or a logical reason why the other person did what she did. Even now at times I fall in that trap. I am still learning to forgive with love & without any condition. Most of my anger in most times is directed towards me as I think I am responsible for my action. I agree and understand what is written in the article but this change will take time as we are rooted (me at least) in rational reasoning of forgiveness
Post Your Reply
On Jun 14, 2023 Nithya wrote :
'Letting go of the notions of blame and self-pity', as harsh as it might sound, I like how the author reminds us of this.
For forgiveness to exist, there must be some mental weighing scale, one that I manage and control. To imply I forgive is to decide the scale is unbalanced, slightly tilted, lifting my existence higher than the other. But can this really be? An act alone may be dharmic or adharmic. But the doer and experiencer come from the same source.
I tell myself, I am mistaken to think I am somewhat greater if I experience adharma and with this belief, I hold myself to never blame. But I do take self-pity on occasion, which is silly. Pity holds me to the past; it makes what happened continue to live on and impinge upon my current experience. How is that helpful? I want to live now. So why make room for the experience to live on? Why self-pity, I remind myself, ever so often.
In the vedic/sanskrit culture, the word kshama is used to speak of the quality of forgiveness.... [View Full Comment]
Post Your Reply
On Jun 13, 2023 Viren Shah wrote :
Once episode having bad taste happens, one can not forget for ever and it can not be erased.
If it still remains in the memory, it can not be forgiven, because it can be evoked any point of time.
When one forgives others then he places himself at higher plane, creating and making the other inferior to him.
The best thing is to reconcile truly with what had happened.
If it still remains in the memory, it can not be forgiven, because it can be evoked any point of time.
When one forgives others then he places himself at higher plane, creating and making the other inferior to him.
The best thing is to reconcile truly with what had happened.
Post Your Reply
On Jun 13, 2023 Sheela naik wrote :
Always to choose love over hatred -- but sometimes that takes a little time to find its footing. When I remembered the abuse that my niece went through -- I had to think long and hard: expose the abuser or leave them. Over time, my niece married into nice family where she is happy, now with two daughters. But it took time and skilfulness.
Post Your Reply
On Jun 13, 2023 Tom Dietvorst wrote :
Just now I was feeling overwhelmed. Here it is 7pm at night and I haven't emptied my Inbox yet. I've got projects coming out of the kazoo! I'm irritated at my spouse - she is irritating me. Hold on! Forgiveness. Forgiveness. Forgiveness. Self-compassion for being overwhelmed. Curiosity as to whether "my spouse irritating me" is projection. And if she is irritating me why not "try some tenderness?" Thanks Awakin!!! Thanks again Wayne!!!
Post Your Reply
On Jun 13, 2023 Marie wrote :
Forgiveness and the recognition of eternal love. We are vessels of that love. In forgiveness, eternal love is an expression bestowed upon the one who is being forgiven. May the gift be received and adopted as a blessing to carry forward in their own life (lives). Forgiveness is the only way for me to move forward and contribute my own way of life, fully embraced as an expression of eternal love as “One.”
Post Your Reply
On Jun 13, 2023 Bette wrote :
Todays reading was shocking to me, because I was faced with the fact that I have not completely forgiven the father of my children’s unfaithfulness. It ended in divorce. It happened when I was 50 and I am 89. I admire the woman I have become, and I wish him well. I forgave the first time, but learning it had continue with others was devastating. However the week before our court date I asked for us to work things out. He said No. He had two women who were waiting for him. I have forgiven myself, but the memories of this still make me sad.
Post Your Reply
On Jun 13, 2023 Shyam wrote :
Forgiveness, although such an easy and good thing to do , is seldom done from the heart. We may choose to ignore the wrong act and move on, but forgiving someone from the heart , is rarely done.
The pain and the feeling of hatred remains stored within.
Its a challenge to throw out the feelings of hatred in even very simple wrongdoings.
Have learnt that the outer reflects the inner, but if in the inner we have hatred stored, how will be able to emit love . We can only give out what we have , and for us to radiate love ,we must be full of this love and one of the ways of doing that is to adopt forgiveness for any small or major injustices we may have suffered.
The pain and the feeling of hatred remains stored within.
Its a challenge to throw out the feelings of hatred in even very simple wrongdoings.
Have learnt that the outer reflects the inner, but if in the inner we have hatred stored, how will be able to emit love . We can only give out what we have , and for us to radiate love ,we must be full of this love and one of the ways of doing that is to adopt forgiveness for any small or major injustices we may have suffered.
Post Your Reply
On Jun 12, 2023 Naveen wrote :
When I have forgiven I have become free and lighter. Sometimes I have tried to forgive as a practice but deep inside the hurt remains which keeps on appearing again and again. But then slowly it starts to melt away and there's genuine forgiveness from deep inside. Sometimes the most difficult forgiveness is for myself and my actions. At that time I try to detach myself from myself almost looking at myself as another person and then it's easier to o forgive.
Post Your Reply
On Jun 11, 2023 David Doane wrote :
Forgiveness means to me to let go of the hurt and anger I feel in relation to someone and to give forth of myself with care from love. A business boss cheated me out of a fair amount of money many years ago. I let go of the language of blame and self-pity long ago and fairly easily since that isn't my thinking or language, but letting go of the hurt and anger toward that man was very difficult. I have let go of most of it. I never see the man and haven't in a long time. If I ran into him, some ill feeling would probably rise up in me, so I'd probably see that I still hold onto some of it and haven't forgiven 100%. I don't hate him and I don't hate anyone. When I choose love over strong dislike it is by reminding myself that we are one, we are expressions of the same Oneness, and that there is some truth in the other for me to learn from.
Post Your Reply
On Jun 9, 2023 Mónica wrote :
Forgiveness is a spiritual act for yourself… knowing this power is in your life! Profound!
Post Your Reply
On Jun 9, 2023 Jagdish P Dave wrote :
As a child and as an adult I have heard many times the wise statement "To err is human, to gorgive is divine." I see the value of forgiving others in all dimensions of my perosnal well-being:physical, mental, the emotional, interpersonal, and spiritual. To me, forgiveness is letting of judgemental attitude that comes in the way of being a healthy and happy person. It menas letting go of hard and judgemental thoughts, feelings and actions. I call it puification of my internal demerits and making my consciousness free from the past hangovers. Lack of forgiveness hurts both persons in relationships. Blame game and self-pity game drians my energy and comes in the attainment of the well-being of myself and of others in my life.
I know an important person in our extended family who has been holding her grudges from a couple of past events. I woild like to clear up heavy clouds of misunderstandings and ask her forgiveness for causing grief in her life. She has been holding on to the wall ... [View Full Comment]
Post Your Reply
On Jun 9, 2023 Chelsea Woods wrote :
I am currently trapped in a web of hurt I experience from one person. I can see my word 'trapped' as a language of self-pity, but I can't let go of the feeling. This person has been in my life from birth, and while they have had many positive influences on my life, they also subtly sabotage me every chance they get. I am afraid to / wise enough not to allow this person in my life, and yet my body is riddled with memories of them that continue to prevent the flow of love and instead generate pockets of fear, defensiveness, and danger. I am working with a therapist to let these feelings go, and I haven't made any progress except to be more aware of the extent to which this person's poison is thriving in me. I can forgive them logically, I know that we are all doing the best that we can, but I cannot let go of my fear, which means that I have not actually forgiven them. I have many others that I have forgiven, but I am stuck on this one, and I know that it is detrimental to my well bein... [View Full Comment]