Liking Is for Cowards. Go for What Hurts.
When I was in college, and for many years after, I liked the natural world. Didn’t love it, but definitely liked it. It can be very pretty, nature. And since I was looking for things to find wrong with the world, I naturally gravitated to environmentalism, because there were certainly plenty of things wrong with the environment. And the more I looked at what was wrong — an exploding world population, exploding levels of resource consumption, rising global temperatures, the trashing of the oceans, the logging of our last old-growth forests — the angrier I became.
Finally, in the mid-1990s, I made a conscious decision to stop worrying about the environment. There was nothing meaningful that I personally could do to save the planet, and I wanted to get on with devoting myself to the things I loved. […]
But then a funny thing happened to me. It’s a long story, but basically I fell in love with birds. I did this not without significant resistance, because it’s very uncool to be a birdwatcher, because anything that betrays real passion is by definition uncool. But little by little, in spite of myself, I developed this passion, and although one-half of a passion is obsession, the other half is love.
And so, yes, I kept a meticulous list of the birds I’d seen, and, yes, I went to inordinate lengths to see new species. But, no less important, whenever I looked at a bird, any bird, even a pigeon or a robin, I could feel my heart overflow with love. […]
And here’s where a curious paradox emerged. My anger and pain and despair about the planet were only increased by my concern for wild birds, and yet, as I began to get involved in bird conservation and learned more about the many threats that birds face, it became easier, not harder, to live with my anger and despair and pain.
How does this happen? I think, for one thing, that my love of birds became a portal to an important, less self-centered part of myself that I’d never even known existed. Instead of continuing to drift forward through my life as a global citizen, liking and disliking and withholding my commitment for some later date, I was forced to confront a self that I had to either straight-up accept or flat-out reject.
Which is what love will do to a person. Because the fundamental fact about all of us is that we’re alive for a while but will die before long. This fact is the real root cause of all our anger and pain and despair. And you can either run from this fact or, by way of love, you can embrace it.
When you stay in your room and rage or sneer or shrug your shoulders, as I did for many years, the world and its problems are impossibly daunting. But when you go out and put yourself in real relation to real people, or even just real animals, there’s a very real danger that you might love some of them.
And who knows what might happen to you then?
--Jonathan Franzen, in Liking Is for Cowards. Go for What Hurts.
Thanks
Beautiful
hi i love it its the truth
I had a similar realization last week. I was finding pain , issues as I was looking / getting stuck with them.
If a good thing happened , that was forgotten, however when a problem occured, I was thinking about it more often , talking about it and being with it even after it was gone.
I decided to forget such things easily, forgive more and move on bringing smiles as often as possible. This helps me start living a happily back soon, even after the mess / problem has occured.
This is great. When I was a kid, I really love to kill animals specially birds by hitting them with stones. This is because I believe that by doing this I can be proud of myself. Times rolling until now I realize that this doings should be avoided in fact switching my point of view by personally loving them.
Animals have life too just like us people. They should not be killed but loved. They are one of us. Loving animals is like loving people because they are also living creatures createrd by God.
I found happiness by simply loving them and hope everyone can do.
I don't like the title - this I feel after reading the passage. Well, at least part of the title. I feel that the very fact that you even spend your energy thinking about something outside your own self means that some sort of awakening has taken place albeit in the nascent stage.
"Because the fundamental fact about all of us is that we’re alive for a while but will die before long. This fact is the real root cause of all our anger and pain and despair" I disagree with this. Maybe remotely related it is because of the fact that that person is still selfish.
Thanks for sharing and reading. :)
Our individual ego is rootcause of all pain and joy we experience its always tranciant like flowing river when we understand nature and our ego transforms in to natures universal ego due to unconditional love then we enter journey of life with all positive virtus and resault will be harmony eternal happiness
I just love the story and the added reflections - you're just a bunch of wonderful people who make ordinary peoople like myself think better, see better and love the world a bit deeper.
I'm no longer a young college student but still I feel angry and frustrated that I can't stop unfairness in the world and man-made destruction of the planet earth. Then again, when I see flower the bud opens so lovingly to give and get love, I feel a loving world afterall. Love for all of you.
Arun
Iris Murdoch, "Love is the difficult realization that something other than yourself is real".
Thank you Somik for the opportunity to share.
My anger most frequently arises when events do not occur exactly as I desire. Frequently I am not aware of my desire until after the anger arises. Reducing or eliminating desire has been helpful.
Portals to the less centered parts of myself are often noticed after anger arises when another demonstrates negative characteristics of mine of which I am unaware. Awareness continues to be the key for me. Warm and kind regards to everyone.
