When I was a little bitty kiddy, about five, my Dad began a process … anytime somebody came and said something to us, my dad would say, "You remember what he said, honey girl?” I would tell my father what the person said until I got so good at it that I could repeat verbatim even long presentations of what the person had said.
And he did this all the time.
Finally, one day there was this old gentleman, Richard Thompson. I still remember his name, he lived across the street. And every time my Dad started to mow the lawn, there came Mr. Thompson. And so I would stand out there.
Dad says, “You might come and listen to this man, honey girl. He’s pretty interesting.” And so I listened to him, and then my dad would say, “What did you hear him say?” And I would tell him.
Well, eventually I was repeating all the stories he liked to share with my dad verbatim. I knew them all by heart.
And my Dad says, “You’re getting pretty good at that. But did you hear his heart?" And I thought, what? So I went around for days with my ear to people's chest trying to hear their hearts.
Finally my Dad created another learning situation for me by asking my mother to read an article from the newspaper. He says “Well, I guess if you want to understand that article, you have to read between the lines."
I thought, "Oh, read between the lines. Hear between the words."
So the next time I listened to Mr. Thompson’s stories, I tried to listen between the words. My Dad said, “I know you know his story, but did you hear his heart?” And I said, "Yes. He is very lonely and comes and shares his memories with you again and again because he’s asking you to keep him company in his memories."
It just came out of me. In other words, my heart echoed his heart.
And when you can listen at that level, then you can hear not only the people. If you really pay attention, you can hear what the Universe is saying.
--Paula Underwood, clan mother of the Turtle clan, Iroquois nation
Great idea put in simple language.Thanks for putting it here.
Such wisdom - we would all be wise to learn and live. Thank you for such a beautiful teaching Paula.
This story is an excellent way to teach listening as well as compassion; I know I certainly needed this lesson.
Thank you.
So true and so wonderful ~ worked as psychotherapist historically and found my innate childhood abilities most rewarding when listening to people ~ I am still listening for the 'heart' ~ thanks for the reminder ~ I needed to hear this today. namaste, ^_^
That story was so inspiring. I got chills at the end when she said, "And when you can listen at that level, then you can hear not only the people. If you really pay attention, you can hear what the Universe is saying". How powerful. I think this is something everyone needs to work on. Truly hearing what is going on around you and listening with not only your ears but you heart. Thank you so much for sharing. God bless.
it is to be made a part of life, a habit to be cultivated
Really Interesting... We should really listen through Heart
Paula, Thank you for expressing the language of the past and the future. I don't believe we survive as a species without learning to L I S T E N.
Grateful for your fathers emotional intellegance. Thank you for sharing, Monica V
If we all listened at that level, the world woud be a much better place. Thank you!
Molly Larkin
www.MollyLarkin.com
It is not easy to listen to the hearts excet we magine what one would be sayinyg as we relate it to our past events
This story sent chills down my spine. Thank you for sharing (=
This is a great article. Well written with a wonderful lesson to uncover. You dad sounds like a very wise man.
- Tim
This is such a sweet story of thinking witht he heart and not the rational mind so much. Its the way of the future.
Norman
LightWorkersDirectory.com
and then there is paying attention "Beyond the Edges." Learned in the Avatar Course.
I like that is good............................
Wow! I think that if we all look back even a couple days and think about the last conversation we had with someone, we can ask ourselves, " Did I even listen to, understand, and feel what (they) were saying or did I just think about what (I)wanted to say the whole time?". Anyway, I like the message of "listening in-between words" and "reading in-between the lines" because it goes along with the whole "think before you act" thing that I was taught by my father.
Jake (Foundation For the Advancement of Religion Online)
http://www.religionresourcesonline.org/
I read the article once, then had to read it again incase i missed something between the lines, lol
good job
so true you are we all need people to listen with the heart bless you,
Was this on the inside of a candy wrapper or on the outside of a box of tea?
This is so wonderful ! So many real instances come to my mind of friends who listened to what I was really saying, and a few friends who were not able to listen to what I 'really' wanted to say.
Sometimes in this world we are too tired & stressed out ourselves to listen to people's 'hearts', but if we make it a habbit, we will always listen to people with kindness.
http://www.lelalcreations.com
Wow that is a beautiful story. How true indeed what one can discover when we look within into our hearts.
And indeed it is not always the words that mean the most, in fact rarely. Most of the time it is what our hearts are saying that holds the most meaning.
Thanks for this.
Evita - EvolvingBeings.com
...chuckling at the cynics: Mark, Dan, "you bore me", et al. I used to be cynical, until I realized it was just my pride in how clever and "free" of belief I was. Clever is not wise, and freedom from compassion is no freedom at all. Mark, Dan, et al, I have read between your lines. It's OK.
That is a beautiful lesson for a kid, spoiled by a rather pompous ending. Just because you are able to read a rather transparent feeling beyond an aquaintances 'chit-chat', it in no way entitles you to assume you can see/hear/feel their heart. The whole 'understanding the universe' ending seemed pompously egotistical, self centred, and blinkered to me, even if the universe you are refering to contains nothing more than the lawn, the old man and your family
Listening mindfully as described above is a key skill for a fulfilling life. Practicing mindfullness in general deepens your connection/understanding with yourself and with all things. Listening mindfully to another deepens your understanding and sense of connection with that person. It also is one of the kindest things that you can do for any other person. Really listen to them.
Paula Underwood (1932-2000) was an Iroquois oral historian. She is known for "learning stories" or "The Learning Way."[1][2]
It is not by chance we have two ears and two eyes but only one mouth.
A thought-provoking story. In answer to Mark, I certainly think the dolphins may be smarter and more evolved than some humans.
We must all find our path through to a higher level of being. Some are much further along the path than others. Some think they are already there. They are wrong.
It is a journey, not a destination.
This reminds me of what I heard in one of my first A.A. meetings in Los Angeles: "Take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth."
We used to do listening all the time when I was in high school but I never was too good understanding the story so I also wrote comments in my own language between the lines and read them afterwards....that helps also.
This is poignantly beautiful and unlike any story I've heard. A very profound insight and lesson. Simply exquisite. Thank you for taking the time to share YOUR story. Robin
Oh wow... I am speechless. I have never thought about going this far in terms of listening...
Thank you for this insight.
Beautiful story about awakening our capacity to listen, to have compassion. Joseph www.explorelife.com
This is B.S...I'm sure you all think dolphins are smarter or more evolved than humans too. Jeesh. Reality...live it.
For those that found this touching, here's some practical tips on this topic I saw today
http://www.dumblittleman.com/2009/09/master-art-of-listening-and-watch-all.html
Any experience which reminds me to look beyond my superficial perspective to what I truly feel is a gift...
It is so very easy to dismiss our subtle feelings...
Thank you all...I smile not only reading the main article but also your comments...!!!
irrelevant and boring.
just say: "i had a nice childhood and daddy told me i was really smart, because i could repeat what other people said. i still feel very talented."
would have saved me some time (reading + beeing disgusted + writing this comment)
one must not hear just the word but also the sense he wants to say
words are not enough to express oneself but the tuning up of the mind can
convey the message
when one don't have tuning of hearts with others one must not waste his
and counter parts time as well.
Ignoring the haters and doubters above...[who obviously need to reread this and then read between the lines].
I have to say this very like what a counsellor is taught to do. To not just listen to what is said, but what isn't, and what lies behind all the words both spoken and unspoken.
I guess we're begining to 'catch up' to what used to be known.
No clanmother would self-identify as a clanmother of the Iroquois nation. There are 6 nations within the Iroquois Confederacy. I can say with confidence that this person is not a clanmother; we know who our clanmothers are.
I call imposter.
I love this! Great thing to share with my 7 year old. Thanks! http://firstforgiveness.org
this is lovely. it reflects the state of "bodhichitta" ~ altruistic mind - to just be present, truly present with someone else. it does not require "fixing", just being with the other, truly.
So often it's not what you hear from another person but what you feel from them. Sometimes words can't capture a feeling. It's something that is translated through a force that I will never fully comprehend.
This is a good reminder for me. Sometimes it's easy to forget to truly pay attention with intention.
:-) Today is a new day.
So often I see people who have developed this way of interacting with others - they spend the whole time the other person is speaking thinking of what they want to say next. They make the same statements and arguments over and over. The only voice they want to hear is their own. The only thoughts and feelings they want to hear are their own.
In this way they become empty. Any real thoughts they may have had calcify as they are parroted over and over. Any real feelings they had become a habit they cannot escape from. They have created a prison for their own mind and their own heart to protect them from other people's ideas and other people's feelings.
No one is too old to learn to listen and see as this woman did as a girl. There is nothing to fear in seeing human beings with open eyes and hearing them with open ears. You will not lose yourself by embracing others, you will find new parts of yourself. You will be alive.
what a father to have! i envy that training which he gave so naturally. may we all grow into parents like this, to friends like this, to teachers like this...
yes it is absolutely right.... everything depends upon our concentration n awareness...
yes we can hear to the nature also....
So true---I have read this over again so many times. Thank you so much.
i have the best job in the world teaching teachers in a master's programme and when i listen to my teachers i try to hear beyond their words - i listen to hear the passion, commitment, stories of pain and struggle and yes the triumphs of their various works in classrooms.
the Universe speaks to us through those around us all the time. when one person speaks, there are so many voices struggling to get through from him or her.
thank you for this story. now i know what i can ask my children and students to do....
Listening beyond words is what I have learnt to do guided by a guru who lives somewhere inside me, not as a captive but as a free spirit.
Life is now full of music.
I have also learnt to see beyond form and colour. The world is so beautiful.