by Somik Raha.
SEED QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION: How do you relate to the notion of grieving as creating a space for safely connecting to one's feelings? Can you share a story of a time you found wholeness and joy by grieving fully and authentically? What helps you not be wrecked by grief while fully accepting your feelings?
After attending the circle at Santa Clara on this topic last night, I came away with a feeling of wonder. What if the circle is actually its own entity? We may be listening to each member of the circle when they share with words or stillness, but what if we are really listening to the circle? The circle felt beautifully complete, with deep sharings, exploration of edges, and counterpoints. If the circle were a person, that would be one heck of a wise person! And how beautiful that one cannot listen to a circle without also deeply listening to the individual. And how doubly beautiful that this circle can only emerge as a result of a process, and can never be replicated in the same way again!
Reading the comments here, I feel that our circle wasn't limited to just one physical space - every one of the commenters here are part of a bigger circle, and we are literally dotting the circle that is the shape of our planet. Thank you for making this possible.
Thank you for sharing this wisdom. It states it so well - when we short cut our grieving, we short cut life.
My mother is suffering from dementia and she is at the last stage of the didease . She cannot recognize anyone even her own children and is totally bedridden . The doctors have given up . She is totally silent , however her eyes reflect her pain ans suffering she is going through . There is total acxceptance of her condition and a silent prayer to God to ease her suffering by letting her move on to the next phase of her journey . . The emptyness within is there , however would like she passes away peacefully with her suffering cut short .
I appreciate the authors reflections as the respondents. I work in Hospice and enjoy reading different reflections of death and dying.
Thank you Samik! I have been mourning for 10 years the death of a loved one and your words helped me to understand that it is time to enjoy wholeness and the joy of all the love I received from my Mom.
Dear Somik, Just the day before, I lost a dear friend of mine from Ireland. This piece came to me near and dear. With enormous gratitude. Jean
Thank you for the passage. This was need of the hour. We witnessed a very celebrated death of my mother in law very recently. She was diagnosed of sudden cancer and she decided no to treatment. She said we would do prayer circles at home and she would love to meet her loved ones. In a month's time she passed away, the whole month we celebrated each and every day. There was so much joy. And when we would discuss death with her and say "Mom we will miss you" she would reply saying " you are still attached to the body"!!. We cried and laughed together before she passed away. No mourning after that. We lived each feeling fully with her. I think that's what taught us to deal with her passing away with ease. We learnt that no death is "untimely" since we think linear we feel that way but its nature's way, we are all sitting with boarding pass, not knowing when the flight will take off.