Who are you, really?

 “The truth of who you are cannot be thought” is a high level of consciousness. This takes the ability to transcend my self-consciousness and create an opening.  It is a place of listening to my inner voice while remaining open to my impressions of the environment.  This place is a complete letting go and filters raw material through the unconscious.  It is touching these unconscious impulses.  The quality can be inspiration and something which comes spontaneously, even beyond conscious control. 
 
This light of awareness, a spontaneous response where I renew ad redeem the self by transcending the ego, is soul-making.  This also creates this hole in my soul, like a gap between the inner-observer and my ego personality.   When I can rest here there is real freedom, yet I constantly struggle with my reactive and automatic forces within me.  It creates hidden conflict and contradictions.  My human nature abhors this empty space.  It makes me experience this trap of being powerless and then I project my thoughts on life.
 
This being powerless is a belief and I am now learning to rest in realistic faith.  Also, to be honest, there are still my doubts and certainties here.  This faith comes and goes like a ghost and my faith cannot be summoned at will.  This space can be unsettling, difficult to identify or resolve.  It seems courage needs to be brought into consciousness so this endless stream of positive and negative thoughts/feelings can be accepted.  Courage draws on the Essential and is imbedded in the real, the vital and the solid.
 
Courage is no thoughts and is like acquiring a taste for nonidentification.  It is encounter with death, and is wake up call to something deeper.  It is where Essence is felt and experienced.  The moment becomes and doubts, beliefs and learn procedures go.  The moment becomes faith, the Essential, and gives this inner freedom to be spontaneous to whatever emerges in the moment.  My being spontaneous is a measure of my faith, no thoughts, and is an opening --- just a place to begin.                       

 Thank you, Syd!  
Know that I read you.  People NEED people.  You, me . . . And me, you . . .standing in the gap.  (It is not good for man to be alone.) 

Sleep tight, you express “standing in the gap.”  This is a very good understanding of what I was writing.  Much of the time this “gap” feels like an existential void, meaninglessness.  Then there are those moments the “gap” creates a deeper and more essential self.  When I can be this inner-observer it seems to be a higher state, and yet this dark force within does not want me to be aware of anything higher.  The best I can tell is learning to accept the conditions I am working with, relaxing, and allowing the energies of life to flow within this darkness.  This creates a serenity within the “gap” seems to allow me to not feel separate from others.
 
There seems to be no particular image or idea of myself here.  There is just this delightful contact with you and you with me, which you express.  What is true here cannot be separated, a creative flow and cannot be otherwise.  So maybe we are learning the “gap” is the source of everything, the core of our true identity, creating and sustaining us.  It is simply resting in this dynamic force that melts down our barriers and boundaries.  This sense of separateness is dissolving, a bright light, and if I may say is your love. 
 
I hope I am not reading too much in what you are saying and truly appreciate your love itself which dissolves the sense of separation.  I could write more, yet I do not want my feelings and impulses to be unseemly and unflattering.  I just believe we are communicating in a direct way, reflecting our inner essence, and allowing it to be.  And while this is all seriousness there is also this sense that none of it is serious at all   Just a spontaneous response, an opening, and a meaning beyond what I intended to create. 
 
May inner peace be with you!                

 Little time now (I'll get back to this!)
There use to be a huge gap between God and His people (us) until Jesus stepped in.  Jesus is the bridge to Life.  As Christians, Jesus calls us to be glue . . . To be the cream in an Oreo cookie . . . To be bridge builders (as opposed to bridge destroyers) . . . To be "gap fillers" of every kind . . . That we may bring (bind) two very GOOD things/people together as ONE.  (My initial thought)

 Thankful -- Actually, the gap between God and people is in peoples' thinking and lack of awareness.  Jesus pointed out that God and we are one, and it is for us to realize it.

This an excellent spiritual thought David and I have had to much overheated mental associations.  My escaping this trap takes tremendous faith, yet when I am centered on what supports me and feel at ease it takes little faith.  There seems to be a point real faith is letting go and even letting go of life itself is faith.  Maybe this creates the union you are writing about.  This union would resolve the gap and it feels like faith is all there is to hold this together.  It seems this faith is not knowing and a quiet mind takes the lead.        

Without burning the bridge, you have chosen to walk away from it, Syd.  (Much courage in this!)  My experience with over heated people:  They really dislike peaceful approaches to problem solving.  Highly reactive people usually do not think before they "blow" . . . It seems to often be an emotional release (a necessary release for health but best done proactively).  I honor people's bridges but do not cross if I am not meant to.  Faith (having a tight relationship with God, thru Jesus and HS) comes in as He directs "my crossings".  If God says, "go" . . . I will go (because He is right beside me in battle)!  Thanks Be
Your words so true, Syd!

Thanks Me and your enormous faith offers such a special hope.  In a direct way your confidence offers hope to those suffering deep hopelessness.  I also realize you can transcend your faith being affirmed, as your faith is not motivated for applause.  I just want you to know what your faith offers and the seeds you plant.  Hope, the starting point in life and your Hope makes everything else possible.        

 Christ (The King) says LOVE trumps hopelessness.  (Experience tells me this is so!)  When we love each other we are making each other's gray, bright.  It's working two ways here!  (Answered prayer!)  So grateful!  

 Sweet truth said with clarity and precision. One should realise this statement. No use of trying to understand  !
Guruprasad.