Who are you, really?

 There is so much Truth here.  It's a bit hard to get my brain around it.  I only came to a glimpse of this Truth recently.  I spotted Ego, the storyteller in my head.  Ego spins nightmares and beautiful fantasies equally well.  I began to feel free when I told Ego to be quiet, and called it a liar.  My sacred self (connected with Source and with your sacred self) is where I go to find the Truth, now.  I still forget, but not as often.  This concept of attachment will take practice.  Thank you for this beautiful article.

 Truth about me-who am I, my true self-is multidimensional.I am born in this world, some where, some time which can be described in words and needs to be described at times. I have grown and developed in my culture which can be described and is helpful to me and others related to me. I have had beliefs about what is right  and good and what is not right and good and I have spiritual core values by which I live my life. I have cultivated tastes for a variety of things. I am different from others and I am also alike others.

Is there something which is universal without out boundaries created by us as human beings? Is there something that bonds all life, which has no name but exists, which is beyond thoughts and words? Do we experience that without the intervention of our mind? Can we feel it, sense it, realize it? 

I am reminded of a story that I had heard in a discourse. It is the story of Buddha holding a flower in his hand and asking the listeners the following question: What do you see in my hand? Everybody started thinking about the flower, looking for words to describe it. Mahakashyapa saw the flower, smiled and said, " I see the flower." He saw the flower. He did not think about it, did not compare it with other flowers. He saw the flower as it was.To me,truth is being fully present as it is revealing, unfolding and emerging on its own, spontaneously and effortlessly. It is perceived as it is without coloring it by past experiences or future anticipations. It is realized in the here and now consciousness. To quote Krishnamurti, it is choiceless awarenes or as Rumi puts it, it is Presence.

When and how do I experience such awareness? When I am in deep meditation I am in the awareness  being zone. When I see a child with an innocent expression of wonderment. When I see a flower blooming, hear a bird chirping, birds flying in the sky in a V shaped design, looking at the twinkling stars and moms holding their babies in  loving hands. I feel it when words come out spontaneously connecting people I have known or have not known. It has has its freshness and fullness. These are precious moments. They are not repeatable as they are always in the here and now flow.

Bow to you  friends.

Jagdish P Dave

Though  truth of who I am is beyond thoughts and words, I use words to describe the realization of the truth which is beyond the thoughts and words.I am reminded of a story form the Buddhist literature. Buddha, the awakened one, held a flower in his hand and asked a simple question to his listeners, "What do you see in my hand?" All who were present were looking for a word to describe what they were seeing. Mahakashyapa, the one who was sitting quietly, smiled. Buddha said," Mahakasyapa. You got it." Realization of the truth about me is felt in the cave of the silent heart. The thinking mind is completely quiet, Awareness dawns on its own and I realize who I am. I have glimpses of such indescribable beyond the beyond, the beyond experiences in deep meditation, when I feel the presence of the air touching me, seeing the innocent and wondering eyes of a child, the sound of a bird coming from nowhere, watching a humming bird dancing on a flower and a smile flickering on my face effortlessly, words coming out of my mouth spontaneously. Rumi uses the word Presence to describe what is indescribable in words.

 “The truth of who you are cannot be thought” is a high level of consciousness. This takes the ability to transcend my self-consciousness and create an opening.  It is a place of listening to my inner voice while remaining open to my impressions of the environment.  This place is a complete letting go and filters raw material through the unconscious.  It is touching these unconscious impulses.  The quality can be inspiration and something which comes spontaneously, even beyond conscious control. 
 
This light of awareness, a spontaneous response where I renew ad redeem the self by transcending the ego, is soul-making.  This also creates this hole in my soul, like a gap between the inner-observer and my ego personality.   When I can rest here there is real freedom, yet I constantly struggle with my reactive and automatic forces within me.  It creates hidden conflict and contradictions.  My human nature abhors this empty space.  It makes me experience this trap of being powerless and then I project my thoughts on life.
 
This being powerless is a belief and I am now learning to rest in realistic faith.  Also, to be honest, there are still my doubts and certainties here.  This faith comes and goes like a ghost and my faith cannot be summoned at will.  This space can be unsettling, difficult to identify or resolve.  It seems courage needs to be brought into consciousness so this endless stream of positive and negative thoughts/feelings can be accepted.  Courage draws on the Essential and is imbedded in the real, the vital and the solid.
 
Courage is no thoughts and is like acquiring a taste for nonidentification.  It is encounter with death, and is wake up call to something deeper.  It is where Essence is felt and experienced.  The moment becomes and doubts, beliefs and learn procedures go.  The moment becomes faith, the Essential, and gives this inner freedom to be spontaneous to whatever emerges in the moment.  My being spontaneous is a measure of my faith, no thoughts, and is an opening --- just a place to begin.