Effort Does Not Change The Person

I have to share that this kind of journey can be hard if you expect life to be a certain way. I have ‘bought into’ BEING GUIDED, following what I have been CALLED to allow unfold in my life. Being AWARE has uprooted me, changed my family dynamic, motivated me to be driven to learn, build and undertake surprising projects. I’m unsure where I’m headed, but seem to surpass my set intentions (or they are met in ways I had not thought possible). The word ACHIEVE is something I must have rejected from childhood, because it doesn’t mean anything to me. I seem to be satisfied with putting in a good day of mindful work, and have proven to myself that that is enough, that I’m headed in the right direction, headed towards a mysterious destination, with intentions strung in a row. All I can say is that it doesn’t always sit well with me, or my friends and family. It’s not a conventional path. It’s taken a lot of faith and some loneliness along the way, ever reassured by my allowing love (lots of self love) and clarity of mind be my guide. I’m pretty sure I will pass from this life very satisfied that I lived it well and loved every minute, even the really hard ones that tore my heart apart. I guess that is what grace is for me. Humbly being with all of it, like a water reed reaching for the sun, rooted in the muddy bottom, while the river of life sweeps by. Poetic this morning, during a huge winter storm event. Warm water and mud is where my mind is this morning. Maybe I’m headed there soon!