Playing in the lot behind the house one day when he was still a little boy, Neruda discovered a hole in a fence board. "I looked through the hole and saw a landscape like that behind our house, uncared for, and wild. I moved back a few steps, because I sensed vaguely that something was about to happen. All of a sudden a hand appeared---a tiny hand of a boy about my own age. By the time I came close again, the hand was gone, and in its place there was a marvellous white toy sheep.
"The sheep's wool was faded. Its wheels had escaped. All of this only made it more authentic. I had never seen such a wonderful sheep. I looked back through the hole but the boy had disappeared. I went in the house and brought out a measure of my own: a pine cone, opened, full of odor and resin, which I adored. I set it down in the same spot and went off with the sheep.
"I never saw either the hand or the boy again. And I have never seen a sheep like that either. The toy I lost finally in a fire. But even now...whenever I pass a toyshop, I look furtively into the window. It's no use. They don't make sheep like that anymore."
Neruda has commented on this incident several times. "This exchange of gifts---mysterious---settled deep inside me like a sedimentary deposit," he once remarked in an interview. And he associates the exchange with his poetry. "I have been a lucky man. To feel the intimacy of brothers is a marvellous thing in life. To feel the love of people whom we love is a fire that feeds our life. But to feel the affection that come from those whom we do not know, from those unknown to us, who are watching over our sleep and solitude, over our dangers and our weaknesses---that is something still greater and more beautiful because it widens out the boundaries of our being, and unites all living things.
"That exchange brought home to me for the first time a precious idea: that all humanity is somehow together...It won't surprise you then that I have attempted to give something resiny, earthlike, and fragrant in exchange for human brotherhood...
"This is the great lesson I learned in my childhood, in the backyard of a lonely house. Maybe it was nothing but a game two boys played who didn't know each other and wanted to pass to the other some good things of life. Yet maybe this small and mysterious exchange of gifts remained inside me also, deep and indestructible, giving my poetry light."
--Lewis Hyde, from "The Gift"
SEED QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION: What do you understand by widening out the boundaries of our being? Can you share a story of how you discovered the unity of all living things in your own life? What gives light to your poetry?
It was toward the end of a trip in Vancouver, B.C. I had spent much of the night vomiting, either from food poisoning or alcohol. After finally falling asleep I had to reject a would be lover who crawled into my bed. The next morning was rough: hung-over, friends were already gone; I just had to kill time before I caught my flight in the late afternoon. So there I was walking street corridored by tall, brick buildings, with a headache, hungry but queesy, thirsty but nothing seemed palatable, and in that moment, when it would seem likely that my little sufferings would pen me in, suddenly I saw all passersby as kin--fellow brothers and sisters with their own sufferings. I felt immense love for them and a calm, durable belonging.
We had a chicken house, with a low roof. One day I climbed up on the roof, laid down at the peak and rolled with my eyes closed. There was this thrilling moment when the roof ended and I sailed into the air.... then the prickly bush caught me by surprise. What did I learn that impacts my writing? The thrill of openings, and something about gravity....
One of my blessings is working with animals. Several days a week I walk two dogs for a Dr. who works long hours. As soon as I approach the house they get behind the floor length shade to see me and start barking in anticipation and excitement. They never fail to make me smile or laugh at their antics. Even though our communication is wordless, it's heart to heart, eye to eye, soul to soul. Then I leave a brief note for the Dr. telling about her pets antics and leave the house knowing that the recount may refresh her and make her smile at the end of a long day.
I imagine each of upon reflection can think of an experience where we connected with a stranger in some way that changed us.
I recall a very brief encounter with a young, shy man on a bus, this was nearly 50 years ago, who made me realize there was more possibility in me than labels applied by those who have always known me. He made me realize that each new meeting is a new beginning and I have the option to bring a different me, a better me, into the relationship, whether it is a relationship for seconds or for years. That young shy man, who I never saw again, travels with me everywhere I go. I have never forgotten him. He changed me for the better.
I can't help but wonder if somewhere, I travel with someone in this way; that an encounter I have long forgotten was actually a pivotal moment for someone. I do hope so.
We are boundaryless divine creatures who are socialized into living with boundaries as we grow. Children play effortlessly with other children but adults hesitate, judge, assess, fear, and associate with selected few. If we can stay connected to our inner child, we can stay connected to all, and wonder at the vastness of the universe that we are all a part of. A number of struggles in my life have come from being told that I don't get the concept of boundaries, but all the joys have always come from being infinitely bundaryless too, so I keep unravelling and enjoying it all.
Undoubtedly receiving that unexpected gift from an unknown other was one of those special experiences that was unforgettable and life-changing. It was a symbolic experience. My understanding of an experience that widens out the boundaries of our being is just that -- it stretches our boundaries such that we see self and others and all that is differently. It broadens and deepens us as persons. I discovered the unity of all living things by way of respected others who were beyond me in their awareness and made comments like "look across the room and see yourself." Their awareness widened my boundaries which resulted in my awareness, vision, and life changing. Such awareness sheds light on my living (poetry) and makes my living lighter, which gifts I treasure.