Can You Love The One Who...

Quite Beautiful!
We must own all of us, and especially kiss those Monsters on the lips so we can own those parts of ourselves too!

Thank you for sharing!

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 Gave me goose-bumps!  Sending it all around!  So relevant all the time and right now, a time in the history of our country in which it can be easy to be spreading lots of anger and judgment at others with whom we disagree!  I am working on remembering that, as Country Joe and the Fish sang in the 60's (and many wise people before and since have reminded us):   "We're all bozos on the same bus!"  love to all, Carolyn

 Humans are such beautifully complex yet simple beings. The range of emotions and actions described in the poem encompasses many of the experiences that enrich and challenge us personally as well as when dealing with other people.  I think the key to embracing all that is, is acknowledging that each characteristic is not necessarily a reflection of who that person is, but is an outward reflection of his/her experience of life at the time. I believe that we all have the ability to choose who we are going to be from moment to moment, but at the very core each and every one of us is a love being. Therefore when faced with those who are not aligned with the truth, those who are mean, fail, wail, lie, what have you, we must look to the core of who we are, and choose love. Every time.

 Ricky,  My husband (when he was still my boyfriend) challenged me to try to 'cut off' the highest peaks and the lowest valleys in my "emotional cycles".  At first, (for years) I was disappointed that "he was trying to "change" me . . . that he did not like me the way I was.  With time and practice, however, I learned the wisdom of his suggestion.  He wanted to help me be more emotionally healthy.   The extreme ups . . . and extreme downs, do nothing for us.  (They tire us out and make us feel even worse.)  Flattening out our "line of emotion" (mountains become hills . . . valleys become divots) enables us to to "stay in better control" of our thoughts and responses. This was very difficult for me to do, as 'I am what I am' . . . DNA, experience and former modeling did NOT support the new "emotional plan".  I can say, in the past 30 years, (however) I have come a long wa... [View Full Comment]  Ricky, 

My husband (when he was still my boyfriend) challenged me to try to 'cut off' the highest peaks and the lowest valleys in my "emotional cycles".  At first, (for years) I was disappointed that "he was trying to "change" me . . . that he did not like me the way I was.  With time and practice, however, I learned the wisdom of his suggestion.  He wanted to help me be more emotionally healthy.   The extreme ups . . . and extreme downs, do nothing for us.  (They tire us out and make us feel even worse.)  Flattening out our "line of emotion" (mountains become hills . . . valleys become divots) enables us to to "stay in better control" of our thoughts and responses.
This was very difficult for me to do, as 'I am what I am' . . . DNA, experience and former modeling did NOT support the new "emotional plan".  I can say, in the past 30 years, (however) I have come a long way in this area.  I am definitely more comfortable knowing that I have a degree of control over my emotions.  No one can do it for me . . . EVERYDAY, I have to do it for myself  (folks around me and my Maker).   

Love yourself the way He loves you!


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aj.   "Love yourself as you do other people!"  This is so well stated.  Thank you. 

 Yay, Chitarta!  
Interesting how some people are soooo comfortable in their skin and celebrate their physical bodies as if "it's all about them"!  Others, magnify the greatness and beauty they see in others but fail to SEE the sweetness in/of the body gifted them.  
For me, I have to reverse the command given "to love my neighbor as myself".  I have to tell myself (often) "Love yourself as you do other people!"  God looks at ALL OF US and says, "YOU ARE PLEASING in my sight and this is all that should matter!  It is VERY GOOD"!   

 leah THANK YOU sooo much, what a treasure you share. in teaching metta(love)-meditation to people what was stunning to me is that the friend, the neighbor, the opponent, the grumpy co-worker.......could be loved,  but the hardest one to love was oneself. within oneself the inner critic, the judger, the controler overwhelmed and could not be accepted.............for a while years back i looked every morning into the mirror and looked at myself from top to bottom, touched parts of my body i wanted specificly be friendly with and WELCOMED myself, SMILED at myself and said loud:  all of you sidharta is welcomed and appreciated AS YOU ARE, each atom and cell of you i send lovingkindness to.....THANK YOU for BEING here, sidharta just as you are !!!! every morning i walked away with a heart in ease, a smile and reminded myself during the day to shower myself with kindness and a smile........

 Ahh, Leah Pearlman.. This poem is a very lovely and deep. The poem of life it is, it really is; This poem should be a check and tick box within every New Year, just to see how self is traveling in life.. I think the ‘Can You’ is a work in progress throughout life, what once was thought I couldn’t, is now I can – age and experience  are the Cans’ and Cants’ within self.  I think back and I once determinately thought I couldn’t get beyond a point of my birth, my self. my illness, my path, my love -  now I know I can, and have and every year another ‘can’ is a witness to this  life.. Thank YOU for another insight and wonderment to life…  Much gratitude to you all.. 

More   notions related to what Ganoba and Ricky said:  by  Gail Brenner I think it's much more interesting to live not knowing than to have answers which might be wrong. - Richard P. Feynman -     9Gail Brenner)The Wisdom Of Forgetting What You Know We are so afraid to let go, to just be, to allow the unfolding of this marvelous life without getting in the way. This fear keeps us paralyzed and stuck. And longing for the peace that is possible -- if only we would put down all the efforts we make to know. There is no greater gift you can give yourself than the invitation to enter the world of not knowing. Why? If you are always going to know what you know now, things will always stay the same. How could... [View Full Comment]
More   notions related to what Ganoba and Ricky said:
 by  Gail Brenner

I think it's much more interesting to live not knowing than to have answers which might be wrong. - Richard P. Feynman -

9Gail Brenner)The Wisdom Of Forgetting What You Know We are so afraid to let go, to just be, to allow the unfolding of this marvelous life without getting in the way. This fear keeps us paralyzed and stuck. And longing for the peace that is possible -- if only we would put down all the efforts we make to know. There is no greater gift you can give yourself than the invitation to enter the world of not knowing. Why? If you are always going to know what you know now, things will always stay the same. How could they change? And by thinking you know what will happen, you are closing yourself off to the unimaginable -- endless peace, unspeakable joy, awe and wonder." Gail Brenner shares tips on how to "forget what you know". { read more }

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" Tout comprendre c'est tout pardoner" ...but as Sharon Bond has said,.."It is when we don't understand behaviour that we are most tempted to be judgemental about it."

 I love what Ricky and Ganoba say.

 Amen, Ganoba!

 This is the major lesson to learn for me this lifetime, for I have been disowned from my parents and in my time of most need cast aside by my sister.  These are people who when needs arise they conveniently forget the past and sweep the mess under the rug and go forward never to speak of things again.  When my father was dying it was me who has the temperament, compassion, and kindness to sit with the near dead and dying.  As I did I began to see the man inside the mask.  Although I longed for him to say he loved me he never did, yet in his eyes I saw how much he did care and how deep his love really was.  I have to wonder if that isn't the same with the rest of the family.  Year after year of their selfish behavior I have offered less and less opportunity for them to hurt me.  Yet by distancing myself I am doing anything?  Time after time I have allowed myself to to be hurt and this has been my course of action, to disassociate.  ... [View Full Comment]  This is the major lesson to learn for me this lifetime, for I have been disowned from my parents and in my time of most need cast aside by my sister.  These are people who when needs arise they conveniently forget the past and sweep the mess under the rug and go forward never to speak of things again.  When my father was dying it was me who has the temperament, compassion, and kindness to sit with the near dead and dying.  As I did I began to see the man inside the mask.  Although I longed for him to say he loved me he never did, yet in his eyes I saw how much he did care and how deep his love really was.  I have to wonder if that isn't the same with the rest of the family.  Year after year of their selfish behavior I have offered less and less opportunity for them to hurt me.  Yet by distancing myself I am doing anything?  Time after time I have allowed myself to to be hurt and this has been my course of action, to disassociate.  This poem makes me realize how much love we each possess.  For me to grasp this lesson, I have been bringing myself back into their lives and see them as they are and love them with all their faults and limitations.  I do however still keep it safe by not speaking politics and religion lol.  I've also given up hope of them ever seeing me as I truly am so if they do it will be a most pleasant surprise.
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 The poem is like a mirror for me to see me as a whole person compassionately. It is by being mindful of and remaining mindful of all the colors of the rainbow of my human consciousness I  can and will be a whole person. The poem reminds me that I am a HUMAN and also a BEING. I need to let my Human be reflected in the all accepting BEING to be a whole and wholesome person. 

Thanks for sending me this beautiful poem and giving me moments to reflect on myself.

Jagdish P Dave

After reading the poem (thank you for the choice submission it is), and the brilliant responses, I see this series of questions a synopsis from an author who has been quietly reflecting on the inner struggles surrounding our collective definition of love and resistance to Love.  Should we continue living our present life under the impression that God is an entity outside us and not the Divine within, we will most certainly continue to resist being comfortable within our own selves, and therefore continue labeling emotions and actions good and bad, happy and sad, life-giving and life-sapping, up and down.  'Judge not, lest ye be judged'.  'Love your neighbor as yourself.'  'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.'  I'm with Ganoba here, for sure.  Life can either be liberating and freeing from all of this self-loathing, or it can be a self-imposed sentence of struggle and frustr... [View Full Comment] After reading the poem (thank you for the choice submission it is), and the brilliant responses, I see this series of questions a synopsis from an author who has been quietly reflecting on the inner struggles surrounding our collective definition of love and resistance to Love.  Should we continue living our present life under the impression that God is an entity outside us and not the Divine within, we will most certainly continue to resist being comfortable within our own selves, and therefore continue labeling emotions and actions good and bad, happy and sad, life-giving and life-sapping, up and down.  'Judge not, lest ye be judged'.  'Love your neighbor as yourself.'  'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.'  I'm with Ganoba here, for sure. 

Life can either be liberating and freeing from all of this self-loathing, or it can be a self-imposed sentence of struggle and frustration and perceived defeats.  My experience reminds me that being aware of this personal tug of war is the practice.  After I have reacted to several of these episodes of negative self-talk a day with the question 'why do I do this all the time' which results in inner violence, being aware that I am doing this is the practice.  Then comes karuna, compassion for the human and the constant struggle, and then comes upeksha, equanimity, for all other beings struggling as well.

I again thank you for bringing these insights to us every week and providing an opportunity for all to reflect on what makes our journey collective and brilliant, always.       [Hide Full Comment]

This passage reminds me of the Alanis Morisette song " Everything" - clean version: http://youtu.be/YlepQ9og-KE
"And you're still here"...the challenge is to not abandon ourselves.

 All these are judgments and I am a poor judge.

The only One who can fully answer "Yes" to this litany of questions would be God Himself.  By grace, we are able to love . . . but only to a point.  Because we are people, in our weakness (in our sin), we can only do our best in "loving" our own and  other's weaknesses.   When I am at work, or in other public arenas, I am best able to love and accept differences.  Because it is both professionally and spiritually correct, I pray for the grace to OUTWARDLY love, accept and handle people correctly/tenderly.  I was brought up with the "do unto others as you would want them to do unto you" notion heavily engrained.  I still fail miserably, however,  when compared to the One Who made me. I have greatest difficuly loving . . . ~people who feel the need to elevate themselves to make small their neighbor ~people who shame other people (in my home and church, the words "shame on you" spoken freely) ~too muc... [View Full Comment] The only One who can fully answer "Yes" to this litany of questions would be God Himself.  By grace, we are able to love . . . but only to a point.  Because we are people, in our weakness (in our sin), we can only do our best in "loving" our own and  other's weaknesses.  
When I am at work, or in other public arenas, I am best able to love and accept differences.  Because it is both professionally and spiritually correct, I pray for the grace to OUTWARDLY love, accept and handle people correctly/tenderly.  I was brought up with the "do unto others as you would want them to do unto you" notion heavily engrained.  I still fail miserably, however,  when compared to the One Who made me.
I have greatest difficuly loving . . .
~people who feel the need to elevate themselves to make small their neighbor
~people who shame other people (in my home and church, the words "shame on you" spoken freely)
~too much talk
~too much volume
~anger
~thoughtlessness
~righteous attitudes of "I am right and you are wrong" 
Love the sinner . . . dislike the sin . . . 
it's all about Grace . . . not there yet,
a 


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 We can love all those qualities and people, and that we don't is a matter of not having grown to that point yet.  As I see it, it's growing in embracing all that is that results in love.  I grow in love (that is, in being in the state of love) by realizing  that all my qualities, the ones I like and the ones I don't like, are part of me, and embracing them, and all people, the ones I like and the ones I don't like, are part of me, and embracing them.  In the process of this acceptance and embracing I get to know what and who I don't like, I learn, I integrate, I grow, I love.  What it comes down to is that I am one, including the parts of me I don't like, and we are one, including those we don't agree with.  We can stand up for our truth and at the same time love those who are not aligned with that truth by realizing that we are each different, we each see through a different pair of eyes, and by dialoguing we each learn.&... [View Full Comment]  We can love all those qualities and people, and that we don't is a matter of not having grown to that point yet.  As I see it, it's growing in embracing all that is that results in love.  I grow in love (that is, in being in the state of love) by realizing  that all my qualities, the ones I like and the ones I don't like, are part of me, and embracing them, and all people, the ones I like and the ones I don't like, are part of me, and embracing them.  In the process of this acceptance and embracing I get to know what and who I don't like, I learn, I integrate, I grow, I love.  What it comes down to is that I am one, including the parts of me I don't like, and we are one, including those we don't agree with.  We can stand up for our truth and at the same time love those who are not aligned with that truth by realizing that we are each different, we each see through a different pair of eyes, and by dialoguing we each learn.  I'm not very good at that one, sometimes thinking I have a corner on the truth, and it helps when I remind myself that I don't.  That story comes to mind about the many people with eyes closed each touching an elephant and having a different perception and interpretation of what's there.  I think anyone with children can deeply relate to loving someone while at times disagreeing with their actions.  [Hide Full Comment]

This poem is amazing. It just strikes few chords and opens up the heart and mind. Thank you for making us realize that love is possible for all and self in different situations and thoughts. Greatness in love, unconditional love may become realistic when this poetry can be practised and lived.
Amen.

Is love acceptance, or not? 
Is love being compassionate, or not?
Is love conditional, or not?
 

Is the love of yours the same of mine, or not?

 Excellent poem.  Thanks for the opportunity to respond.  Loving everyone and everything is it but I often forget it.  When I forget being kind to everyone and everything I am critical and delusional. In  a group I meet with weekly, I often try to correct one of the members who thinks that if he had one more idea or one more category of thought, he would then be certain and fulfilled.  I frequently states he is wrong for thinking that he will get an idea that explains all ideas. When I do that, I do not love him or myself.  As Gandhi said: If you want to make someone happy, be compassionate.  If you want to be happy, be compassionate."  Warm and kind regards to everyone.