Courage to Risk Telling the Truth
Something definitely changes when we finally summon the courage to risk telling the truth about who we are and are not. The primary questions become: how and why do we avoid being who we truly are? What gets in the way of trusting our self completely? Under what circumstances do we deceive or delude ourselves?
When we are phony, pretentious, or cynical in order to achieve interpersonal or material gain, we diminish ourselves and disrespect others. The extent to which we have positive regard and respect for ourselves and others determines how successfully we achieve congruity among all aspects of our character. It becomes necessary in this process of congruity, to demonstrate the self-regard that is true to who we are, and as we do this, we are unwilling to compromise our integrity in order to satisfy the expectations of others or win their approval. We know our behavior is authentic when we can consistently say what we mean, do what we say, and say what is so when it is so. We can check ourselves by asking whether our motivation, speech, appearance, and actions match our true character in all the varied aspects of our lives -- relationships, work, and community. When our words, actions, and behaviors are in harmony, wisdom and authenticity emerge.
Authenticity is the expression of what is genuine and natural. It commands great respect because, unfortunately, it is so rare. The desire to be accepted, or to engage in competition and comparison, drives us to limit our behavior to what falls within narrowly prescribed, predictable norms. Ridding ourselves of old patterns and accessing the authentic self are entry ways to freedom and the domain of wisdom. In fact, as we discover how to befriend these processes, ageing and renewing our character can be what Carl Jung called, “A winter grace.” Jung believed that if we do not develop inner strength as we age, we will become defensive, dogmatic, depressed, resentful, and cynical. Our homeland of authenticity is within, and there we are sovereign. Until we rediscover this ancient truth in a way that is unique for each of us, we are condemned to wander, seeking solace in the outer world where it cannot be found.
--Angeles Arrien, from "The Second Half of Life"
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8 Past Reflections
On Jul 31, 2010 Kaushik wrote :
The first step towards authencity, in my experience, is self-honesty, and the first step towards self-honesty is the admission that we can fool ourselves. But self-honesty can be developed--as we remain aware and still and let go.
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On Jul 30, 2010 Somik Raha wrote :
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On Jul 29, 2010 Bhoutik wrote :
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On Jul 29, 2010 Diana wrote :
My only way to access my true self is through consistent prayer, which isn't easy as I am oftern suduced into trying to look outside myself to gain validation. The universe is a mirror go out and attempt to respect others ,strangely alot of people won't like it and you will be attacked but keep doing it and you will feel great. The hardest person to respect will be the most annoying person in your environment -pray to treat them with compassion and respect and you will see your petty self in all its horribleness , this is where wars start from our own hearts. I favour the run away method which never works because that person is there to help me change and overcome that inherent negativity. Pray for that persons happiness ,and at times like this I don't want to pray I'd rather hang on to my nasty feelings which basically poison me and cause me to ultimately be unhappy . Hate is easy anything else is a mountain to climb , which I oftern fall down alot!
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On Jul 27, 2010 shirley wrote :
In this age, authenticity is something that is more related to furniture, food and the like, but not necessarily people. It seems that in surviving the requirements of modern times, people have indeed become far too adaptable, often compromising their true beliefs to conform. Authenticity can be directly linked to the tangible outcomes arising from the possession a strong social conscience.
Im my golden years, after a lengthy career in the helping profession, often wearing many professional hats, I strive for the authenticity gained from not compromising the values I hold at the inner core of my being. In the 16th Century, Shakespeare suggested that we can only be true to others by being true to ouselves. - Real authenticity.
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On Jul 26, 2010 Lokesh wrote :
Metaphorically well said, but how do we achieve this in practical world, which is marred with insecurity and charlatan skills?
Sample this - the most often said thing is one should loose ego.
Example - B is sub-ordinate of A and brings to notice of A some of the inadherant inadequacies of A, in return all A will have to say B is to shed ego, now in doing so isn't A himself celebrating ego and demonstrating that he is egoistic, else why would A give a damn about B? A could have lapsed in introspection.
Another sample - Aristotle remarked that contradictions do not exist, one of the underlying premises is incorrect. As centuries have passed since then, mankind has only added to confusion by compounding the premises rather than discarding them.
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On Jul 26, 2010 Joie wrote :
Finally! a newsletter with a purpose and a message. In my isolation I am missing connections such as the thoughts I have just read. Where is my 'other' to sit in silence on Wednesdays until there is something worthy of saying.