I Am Interested In My Mind

I am interested in my mind.”, this statement conjured up so very many things the days before our weekly gathering and even still today several days following. Then reading the passage from “Why I Sit” by Paul Fleishman, brought to mind many more things about nature, about our human nature, about meditating, about why we as individuals do any number of many things we do and also about taking care of our bodies and our hearts and minds by being present with ourselves as well as with others. As is the usual case, the nature of the Wednesday evening gatherings at the Mehta Family Home, this coming together of mindful, thoughtful and heart felt individuals was as colorful and profound as Mr. Fleishman’s eloquent prose.

As the mic rounded the room, people spoke of why they choose to meditate: for clarity, for peace in their hearts and minds, to recharge, to connect with their inner self, to connect with nature, to learn more about themselves and to better understand themselves and others.

Others spoke about our very natures as individuals and as a species and comparing ourselves to the snow goose that innately knows it must migrate with the change of season. The comparison came with the fact that as humans we have choice. The choice to find quiet within that in practice allows us to be better connected with ourselves and with each other and with the world around us. The choice of inward reflection affording us the internal resources to assess situations with better clarity, to be able to have compassion and understanding of ourselves and others, and to find the joy in our connections and in our everyday.

A common thought this evening was that as humans we are born with this ability to find quiet within and to understand and have compassion and understanding for ourselves and others. Several people shared stories of their children and of themselves as younger people and the how naturally we seemed to do these things but as life becomes more full or we become more involved in living we loose touch with this ability.

For me discovering meditation and recognizing my desire for seeking quiet within , is a gift from Maddie, my oldest daughter. Maddie introduced me to meditation when she was 8 years old (she’s now 14!) as she was enjoying doing this in class with her second grade teacher Mrs. Gillies. Maddie invited me to create a sacred space in our home and to sit with her and meditate. At 8 my daughter was where I desire to be right this minute in my 40‘s! I learn so many things from Maddie that I, as my friends shared this evening, practiced and “knew” when I was a kid. I feel blessed in so many ways, mostly that one of my most favorite people, who I’ve thought I would be teaching about life and living, wonderfully teaches me every day about loving, acceptance, understanding and compassion.

I sit to nurture myself and to recharge this mind and body of mine because I am also interested in this mind of mine.

I loved the poetic metaphors in this piece. Two stuck out for me. One was, "(I want to) see my child unravel through his eddying transformations." Who is the "child?" To me, the child is the gift in each one of us. It is what we get to work on our entire life. The parenting metaphor fits well, because we can choose to completely ignore the child and have it go nowhere. Or, we can exercise so much control over it that we completely strangle it. Alternately, we can be enlightened parents, remembering Kahlil Gibran's sage advice, "Children are not of us, they are through us," and accept that our gifts are not us or of us. We can nurture the gifts we come with, and bring them to a point that they blossom and serve others. But to even recognize and develop the maturity to get out of the way of our gifts, we have to sit.

The second metaphor that stood out for me was "the same organic immersion that sets a snow goose flying ten thousand miles every winter and spring." What organic immersion sets off the goose on its heroic journey, without even realizing its heroism? I submit that all of us are heroes - we've had this moment of organic immersion, when, after spending 9 months as water creatures, we took a heroic leap out and became land creatures. That is a heroic act! Of course, some people need a little more help than others, but the heroism remains.

The root of heroism is the impulse that is generated from a recognition of truth, and a great desire to honor it and manifest one's true nature. It then follows that to develop heroism, one must sit. :) When this impulse comes forward, one does not have to make any choices - like the snow geese or the baby does not do any cost-benefit analysis. It just is true to its own nature.

Finally, a story on recognizing what is leading to an organic impulse. I was involved in communicating something harsh to a friend in a professional setting. Although what I had to communicate was a consequence of many events, and was truthful, I felt it was not the whole truth. So I sat, and tried to observe my mind. It soon became clear that I had a lot of compassion and good wishes for my friend. Therefore, I had to honor this truth. So, when I wrote my mail, I started with strong wishes for my friend's well-being. Then, I delivered the harsh message that was my duty to deliver. I ended again by wishing for friend's well-being. My friend responded by reciprocating the compassion for me and others, leading to more good wishes being sent around from my other colleagues as well. But, what struck me was the inner peace in my heart, and a firm grounding in my wish for my friend's well-being, and a dedication to carry out my duty at the same time.