It's Okay To Be Perfectly Human

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Hand-drawn art by Akshita
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Why do we do it? Why do we nag and criticize ourselves? Why do we launch scud missiles of negative words and thoughts against our self-images?

Perfectionism is one reason. We expect ourselves to be perfect, and when we aren’t, we shame ourselves. We dig trenches of negativity that tell us we’re bad. Flawed. Broken. We commit treason against our inherent goodness.

Driving ourselves to achieve, to be good, and to become better is a good thing. It allows us to set and reach goals, to pursue our dreams, and to make the world a better place. But that drive can become imbalanced when it over tilts into egotistical, shameful, or never-good-enough attitudes.

What if, when we catch ourselves launching a negativity attack against our self-images, we stop, and instead name one good character trait we possess, one quality we like about ourselves? Reminding ourselves we’re good, teachable, and loveable might be a simple practice that will help turn off the negativity switch in our heads.

By adopting the practice of affirming and accepting ourselves, we purposely lower the unattainable bar of perfectionism. We allow ourselves to be perfectly human.

Perfectly human means we will make mistakes, and when we do, we’ll admit them and learn from them. It means loving ourselves unconditionally, adopting the image and likeness with which God created us—good, loving, connected to his Holy Spirit by the Inner Light that dwells within our hearts.

If we were perfect, we wouldn’t need the Divine. We’d be God. But we’re not—and neither are we supposed to be. Our job is to be perfectly human. Good, messy, and teachable. We’re the human part of the Divine Team, with whom the Creator invites to co-create more love in the world.

When we make peace with our internal wars and accept all parts of ourselves without judgment, we create more space for God to love us, for us to love ourselves, and then for us to become multipliers of unconditional love for others.

Stop the inner war. Pick up instead the plowshare of self-acceptance. Affirm your humble goodness and allow yourself to be perfectly human.

Seed Questions for Reflection

How do we relate to the notion that affirming and accepting ourselves purposely lowers the unattainable bar of perfectionism? Can you share a personal story of a time you were able to love yourself unconditionally? What helps you accept the good, messy and teachable parts of you?

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10 Past Reflections
MU
Mukesh7373
Sep 29, 2024
Perfectly imperfect.
Start learn and again start learn
PE
PeterK
Sep 29, 2024
When you stop making mistakes
it's time to move on and do something else.
BS
Sep 24, 2024
Reflecting on this post, Forgiveness, loving oneself must be learned if the seeds were not planted in ones early years.
PF
Sep 22, 2024
This is such a good reminder. It's hard to always forgive ourselves but with enough nudges like this, I may get there!
SU
Sep 20, 2024
No expectations, Detachment and Acceptance is practicing spirituality.
CH
Sep 20, 2024
I picked up the plowshare of self acceptance once when I accepted the reality of mental illness. I stopped calling myself a monster. I stopped calling myself undisciplined.

This Love allowed me to see there are no bad parts of myself even though I still have unskillful behavior from time to time.
DD
Sep 20, 2024
I agree with the notion that affirming and accepting ourselves lowers the perfectionism bar. Problem is, really affirming and accepting self in a way that makes much difference is difficult. Not accepting self is deeply ingrained, and intellectually reminding self that we're good is too superficial and doesn't penetrate to where not accepting comes from. As for perfect, we are perfect when we allow our real self to be and express -- I believe our real self is our God self. I'm always able to love myself unconditionally, but I don't -- times of loving myself unconditionally are few and far between. I think loving myself unconditionally ended by age two, which I think is true for most of us. One big help for me in accepting me is loving and positive responses from others.
GU
Sep 19, 2024
Yes, negativity, egotistical, shameful, or never-good-enough attitudes are constricting. Gentle acceptance is relaxing and neutralising . Reverence to the (un-apparent) sublime in us is expanding. Frequent rememberance of this is an antidote to the unhelpful habits of the mind. Striving for perfection or doing better at whatever i aim for is, in itself, a necessary driving force. For example, for creating this very post, i have had to be patient, delve into my experiences and reflect. However, as Brian Plachta, explains, one ought not to tilt into imbalance. Usually keeping to deadlines of time and accepting the realities of situations is a balancing factor against getting too carried away with perfectionism.
Loving / accepting myself unconditionally, in one recent situation for me, after having committed a mistake, arose in me naturally when i had an organic feel of something in my being which was unaffected, pure. The wallowing in guilt was broken.
JP
Sep 19, 2024
Life is like a river flowing through ups and downs of living and I need to go with the flow. As a human being I have gone through many ups and downs in my life. Rather than fighting against the ups and downs of life I have learnt to accept both. When I accept both I do not block the flow of energy. I accept the ups and downs of the current of the river in my life. Maintaining a dynamic balance between ups and downs saves my energy and it helps me to go with the flow. As a growing human being I have learnt that to err is human and to forgive is divine. When I err I do not deny my error. I forgive myself, learn from my errors and move on. I do not create a wall of denial, deceive myself and continue repeating the same cycle of misery. From my experience I have learnt the lesson of not to stop the river of life flowing. From my experience I have learnt to let the river of forgiveness flow. Forgiving myself and the others in my life and loving myself unconditionally has lightened the b... View full comment
ST
Sep 19, 2024
Yikes! Perfectionism? Even the humans we may model ourselves after, the one's we hold as having lived the most admirable lives had flaws. So, I am being the most perfect me that I know how to be. I love myself unconditionally right now. I have missed the mark of full honesty with my beloved partner due to following what might be an addictive shadow. And I suffer and learn. What helps me to accept those messy yet teachable parts of me is my hearts desire for peace. If I am playing my part in co-creating the peaceful world that I want to live in then I first can be at peace.