The Liminal Space

When you become aware of another in a dilemma of some kind and for them it’s so heavy they can only naturally share some burden so as to ease the load. Not always do they want advice and direction. Yet we can so easily jump in to dosomething to help them, by not just listening and allowing them to vent of this weighted burden, we then start to speak, we advice, criticiseadd our opinions, thinking we are helping, but we are blocking the other persons flow and only keep the unhealthy fire burning by adding some fuel. Even if a situation arose that you knew the person was in conflict with, but never discussed it or addressed there even was a issue or conflict happening.
it is so easy to offer advice, an therefore stop the natural flow.
when we try to help, and from a good place, it doesn’t allow the other to go through life’s struggles, learn and become strong and wise because of them.
to help a butterfly from its chrysalis during its brief struggle to get out, would only make it weak. Through struggle the butterfly strengthens itself and it’s wings, like a good work out in the gym
without this struggle it would be weak and unable to fly, and lose what would have been beautiful.
we actually help mostly through fear, and a need to protect.
if we allowed a fully trusted in life just like animals do, then fear would not exist.
To hold space for someone is to be a standing rock, who listens without input but with compassion and understanding so the other feels heard.
They would feel so lighter without hard input added. A simple nod of the head or a cuddle and love, supporting them and telling them everything will be ok, would mean so much.
Be the rock, the strength, the space for them to breathe. We so easily do the wrong thing thinking we are doing the right thing. Times are changing now and we understand more. A whole new way to teach the youngster though.
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We're always in liminal space, sometimes more profoundly than others, sometimes willingly and sometimes unwillingly. It probably helps to be held when struggling in that space. We can never control outcome, but we can be a container by being present in such a way as to provide some safety, care, respect, and support. Holding space becomes more easy the more we do it. It doesn't make us feel powerless -- we're always powerless to change the other. We don't have to anything, for self or others -- we can hold space for self, which is to take care of self, including while holding space for another, which usually helps. When I am present, listening, caring, not judging, not controlling, I am holding space for and with another. What helps me recognize and hold space is knowing how important it is, learning to care and not carry, knowing how to share what I am experiencing in a non-demanding, non-critical, honest and open way, and being supportive of the other being himself or herself. Hide full comment

We all go though ups and down in our life, feeling high and feeling low, elevatedand depressed. There have been times in my life when I did not know which way to go. The outcomes were beyond my control. The best way for me was to hold space-the liminal space, with non-judgmental mindfulness, and open and tender heartedness. I needed such empathic and compassionate support for me to hold me. It was my responsibility to hold me in that liminal space. I did not feel alone. A deeper loving and compassionate part of myself held me to go through the difficult times of my life. My personal experience has taught me how to provide such liminal space to others when they go through agonizing and painful experiencesin their lives. These are the times when I feel
the other is me. I feel deep empathy for the other.

As a teacher and a counselor, I often encounter such situations when my
students and clients feel stuck in no-exit condition. They feel lost not knowing what to do. These are thee times when thy need someone to hold them and help them go through the difficult times in their lives. These are the times when I help them to hold space, the luminal space, to carve their own path, to find their own internal strength. Such experiences fill my heart with happiness.

I have learned how to fill the cup of my life with loving kindness, loving awareness and loving compassion. It is an ongoing journey of growing in which I hold my hands with self-compassion and extend my helping hands to others as they are going through theirown journey.

Namaste!
JagdishP Dave

































Life is not a straight line. As we journey through life, we run into unexpected and unfamiliar curves and corners. We are facing ambiguity. We are at the threshold of not knowing which way to go. It is an interim space of ambiguity and disorientation. We are caughtup between two identities-the one who we once were and the emerging identity,"like the chrysalis stage between caterpillar and butterfly." In such experiences, there is liminal space of openheartedness and our need to be held in that space. For helping others we need to learn how to hold ourselves with empathy, compassion and openheartedness.

As a teacherand a counselor I often run into such situations when a student or a client is in a state of conflict and confusion.They feel stuck. In such situations
I extend my helping hand to them with empathy,openheartedness, compassion and loving kindness.Such a stance helps them to relate to themselves with openness, self -compassion and kindness. Clarity grows within themselves and they learn how to overcome their hurdles-to move from darkness to light.

Life is an ongoing journey. There are times when I need loving kindness and help from others. Such experiences have helped me to take care of my self in difficult and trying times and also to help others who may be going throughhard and stressful times.
Namaste!
Jagdish P Dave





































































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