We Are What We Choose to Be
On rare and precious moments, someone will tell me about when he used to play the saxophone or when she used to dream about opening a halfway house for abused women or when he thought he could mentor boys in the inner city or when she was going to write a book about how she made it through her childhood. And they light up. There is no other way to describe what happens. Their cheeks flush, their bodies become animated, their voices are electric as they speak. For a moment, the clock stops ticking. Then they pause, shake themselves the way a dog does on a hot day after swimming in a cool lake, and they crawl back in their girdle, talk about money and time and reasons why not. "Well, (...) I am not the sort of a person who could just... I wouldn't feel like me that way." I watch heart failures as the clock begins to tick again.
My son once told me he didn't want to grow up to be a man because they all seemed like they were walking dead. I came back from being dead realizing we are totally free to live fully alive. Now. In this moment. Free to define ourselves. We are what we choose to be. I don't mean free to have. I mean free to be. I know many among us don't have sufficient nourishment, space, education. But I also remember learning how Nelson Mandela sang of freedom at the top of his lungs on a boat while being taken to prison. And I remember the Jamaican angel who swept the floors in a hospital and whispered words to me in the dark of the night that changed everything: "You are more than your fear." I know there are others among us who have more food than they can ever eat, bigger houses than they can ever occupy, more education than they can ever use, and still they suffer from spiritual insufficiency and lack of the kind of nourishment that a sense of purpose brings. Most of us would never dare sing at the top of our lungs on a boat for fear of being embarrassed!
Parker Palmer (...) wrote, "No punishment anyone might inflict on us could possibly be worse than the punishment we inflict on ourselves by conspiring in our own diminishment."
Excerpted from Dawna Markova's book, "I will not Die an Unlived Life: Reclaiming Purpose and Passion."
SEED QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION: How do you relate to the distinction between "free to have" and "free to be?" Can you share a personal story of a time you felt that you could choose to be? What practice helps you realize that you are more than your fear?
Add Your Reflection
8 Past Reflections
On Oct 13, 2015 dawna markova wrote :
It's a delight reading this after having written it so long ago. My latest thinking just emerged in a new book written with my daughter-in-love-collaborator, Angie McArthur: Collaborative intelligence-Thinking With People Who Think Differently, just published by Random House.
Post Your Reply
On Oct 13, 2015 Kristin Pedemonti wrote :
Post Your Reply
On Oct 13, 2015 Sidney DeKoven wrote :
When I stopped believing my thoughts, The whole wold started opening up for for me. I gained a positive attitude and anything became possible. Truly anything is possible if only one gets over the feeling of unworthiness. I believe the greatest barrier to enlightenment is this feeling of unworthiness and the attendant belief that I can't do it . It's too big. Beyond my capacity etc.
Post Your Reply
On Oct 11, 2015 catherine wrote :
i wonder if my vision, my feeling of "free to have or free to be " is not linked to my age... at a time, wisdom comes from experience. free to have has no more meaning for me except non attachment, "lâcher prise", and free to be is to let ourselves being with our true nature, to let love flourish from our heart, to feel confident in what is happening right now, and welcome it as it is, as a gift.. even with life's challenges there is always a way to cope with them when love and trust and joy are the fuel of our life..
Post Your Reply
On Oct 11, 2015 Abhishek wrote :
Aliveness is a sign for me, of being in alignment with Life....and actions that are born from that space have a different flavour....
But when I think about "We" are what we choose to be, I also wonder who is this "We" (or I)....because if the I is the local ego then it is not really free - it is dedicated to its own survival and will make choices that allow its dramas to continue....and hook us....
On the other hand if the I is beyond, perhaps, we have a real choice.....how much of that 'unconditioned 'I'' we can access is also a question...and a journey to be lived.... :)
Post Your Reply
On Oct 10, 2015 Jagdish P Dave wrote :
Post Your Reply