Anyone Else Suffer From Active Laziness?
I was recently reading a book about a boy who becomes acquainted with philosophy through the need to answer questions about living and dying and the meaning of life after his mother is killed in a car accident.
In the book, the boy is introduced to "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying" by Sogyal Rinpoche. Within the pages of the book, the boy is introduced to the concept of "active laziness", the need to keep busy in order to avoid thinking about one's own mortality, or even about other important things, like what makes the individual happy. Or, in other words, it's easier to keep oneself distracted than face one's own demons -- and for people who believe they have no demons to face, are you alive?
There is always plenty of discussion to be found about the fast paced nature of today's society, and how people today fill their lives with endless activity and distraction. Consumerism is a big part of that distraction. Rinpoche views all of this as avoiding thinking about the nature of living and dying; the short time that we have on this plane and what we do with that time, and how we feel, or experience that period of living.
It certainly rings true for me. Even with four children to raise and care for, a degree to finish and a household to maintain and keep running smoothly, I often feel I need to be doing MORE. I often lament at not having the energy or time to do MORE. So many people I know are the same. Busy to the point of breaking down, but unable to cut right back because, well, because - they don't even seem to be able to articulate why.
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I know I often feel lonely, not because I'm alone - I'm hardly ever alone - but because I fail to connect with other people. Now, I have to ask myself, is the person I most fail to connect with, is actually me? Would I be better at connecting with other people if I understood myself better? And how much do other people actually connect with one another (...)? Is shooting the breeze really connecting? Is being in the same place as someone, talking to them, the same as actually connecting with another person? Or is it just another way to distract oneself from being with oneself?
Frenetic energy springs to mind. It's everywhere. Everywhere we go, all the social media, shopping centers in particular, are BOOMING with frenetic energy. If a person isn't comfortable in the calm quiet places, isn't that a problem? If you cannot sit in a room with another human being without speaking, without the tv or the radio on, or something else to distract you -- the computer, the phone, the book -- can you really say you know how to be with yourself and with another person?
I sometimes sit just with myself and my thoughts. I don't often with someone else and our thoughts.
Anyone else suffer from active laziness?
How do you understand "Active Laziness?" Can you share a personal story of a time you became aware of your active laziness? What practice helps you to get over active laziness?
Thinking is channeled, more easily to choosing what color shoes or what brand of ketchup, than to the choices about what am I doing now, who am I doing it with, what's the purpose of it all and why ?
After getting off the phone last evening with a troubled brother, my husband remarked, " if he could just find peace, all the pieces (of his life) would come together."
My brother in law is an extrovert. He thrives on the attention and praise of those around him. He will do anything to take center stage. Though this brother has experienced a lot of "physical stillness" in the past years, it has done little for him. Time alone is only good when and if thoughts are rightly (in the Light) directed. (What we put in . . . comes out) Goodness and Truth in . . . Goodness and Truth out.
My prayer that he may know the beauty of peace one day. Amen
For me Active Laziness is getting lost in social media in order to feel connected. I realize I do this when I feel Disconnected. I have gotten much better most of the time at slowing down and being more in tough with what I used to deem as "negative" feelings; loneliness, sadness, anger. Now I stay with those feelings and remind myself, "this too shall pass." Meditation being mindful also help with stopping active laziness. I have also taken "crazy busy" out of my vocabulary, many seem to wear this as some sort of badge of honor. It is not. It is a disease. Here's to being balanced. Hugs from my heart to yours!
What a great thing to think about. I obtained a great book years ago, and which is sitting right by me called Don't Just Do Something: Sit There by Richard Eyre. He has taken old maxims and made them new. For example: "Never put off until tomorrow that which you can do today" becomes "Always put off a put-off-able in favor of a now-or-never." His "new" maxims really nail it on the head.
Dr. Frank Kinslow has also written a great book called When Nothing Works Try Doing Nothing. Written as if you are right there with him, Dr. Kinslow will enlighten and inspire you to the joys, the possibilities, and the power of doing nothing.
In my sixth decade the fog around constant doing is beginning to lift through accepting core faith that the human condition is evolving and yet every moment, situation, presence needs to be honored as is. One of the ways this is taking place, is mindfulness and grateful heart practice aligning when I connect with breathing as the abundant gift.
For me, finding time to Be is very humbling. Facing the demons and the egos can be daunting but when doing so a quiet, calm does surround me. When I allow myself the time to really let go of the whirl wind inside my mind, gain clarity of calm, to listen, and to Be, I then and only then can begin to Connect. This puts in play a motion that opens my ability to Connect with others as well. Thank you for the gift of your words and for the gentle reminder to pause and Be!
It's easy to get caught up in the junk of everyday obligations (work, family, friends, social media etc) because one can't or shouldn't ignore these things and simply sit and think for 24-7 in quietness. But there is a way to be mindful of what you're doing 24-7 and remind oneself to stop here and there for a minute (or an hour or two if you can spare it) to just stop rushing about and just Be. It is possible. It takes self discipline and awareness to just Be. But I find that I can connect with myself and others simply by being conscious of the present, by listening, by choosing my words, and just soaking in the presence of another. I can do this in person, online, on the phone, and even via my thoughts.
I am very curious to know the title of the book you were reading, about the young man who is prompted by tragedy to explore philosophy. Are you able to tell me?
The paragraph following the (...) intrigues me most in this writing. "Connections" . . . "Connecting" . . . "Connectedness" (for me) is "the way" for me. I do not always seek it, it is simply what "I pick up". A vibe, an expression, a walk, a tone, an energy (or not), a difficulty, a want, a need, an injustice, a joy, a meaning . . . , my radar picks up. To protect myself, I hide. Since I am NOT God, I feel the weight of the world around me in a physical way. At one point in my life, "the intake" of these "Senses" shut me down entirely. I was no longer able to function. Ten years of stillness, and God took control. "I am God . . . let Me take your burden . . . Let Me carry you. ", He said.
In active submission, I have to do what I can do. With this big stuff, God wants me to hand in over to Him. I can't take in all I perceive. I'm so thankful for my Father. Amen.
I am more with myself when I am lonely. The loneliness gives me good quality time to be present to my self. To meet me, to be with me without feeling the pressure or obligation to be connected with others. I value my alone time to reflect on my self and feel the presence of people with whom I am deeply connected.This kind of deep connectedness I feel with myself and with others when we do not have time pressure. Such experiences are at times full of spontaneous laughter or when we explore some personal significant existential questions or when I am in a deep loving relationship. As I am getting older, I enjoy such time out to have time in. quiet time to be with me when the time flows like a river. This is my being zone, very different from the doing zone and the having zone.Blessed are such moments.
Jagdish P Dave
For me, 'doing' itself is worth looking into.
At this stage in life -stepping on 60 - I have made it a priority to make my life stress free. I am a retired teacher, rarely get into traffic, take enough time to smell the roses! Feel satisfied with my daily chores, meditation and charity involvement. So no real active laziness, just enjoying every minute grateful I can in health and growth!
