Along the Thread of our Inner Sincerity

 My family calls me Pancho and I'd like you to know that I love you all.

two thoughts that came in relation to sincerity - one is a sanskrit verse and the other is a story of a bhakti movement saint, Kanakadas.  the famous sanskrit verse - "kaayena vaacha manasa indriyairva buddhyaatmana prakruthi svabhaavaath karomi yad yad sakalam parasmai naarayanyethi samarpayaami".....translated - with the body, speech, mind, senses, intellect, by nature or habit, all actions that i perform, i offer it to lord Narayana.  this might not be the exact exact translation but quite close to it....however this signifies to me the most challenging standard for "sincerity/authenticity". 

the story - kanakadas was once given a banana and asked to eat the banana where no one could see him eating the banana.  he came back without eating the banana where as everyone else that was given a banana to eat without anybody seeing them had finished theirs.  kanakadas said that he could find no place to eat where he could he could not be seen by the omnipresent GOD.  this "Practising the Presence of God" is another aspect of sincerity that i found to be interesting and profound...

Thank you for making this space available virtually tooo....

gayathri

What is sincerity? seemed to be a central question to the discussion.  I loved Somik's take on it, which I heard as basically: authenticity is manifesting your truth in each moment, and sincerity is what keeps that from harming others.

Pavi shared in her always-beautiful opening the latin etymology of the word 'sincere': without (sine) wax (cera), which apparently comes from sculptures, which if done right, did not need wax to cover up any mistakes. I love this idea that presenting ourselves sincerely is a practice of total openness and acceptance and needs no cover-up. 

Pavi also shared after the circle that in fact there has been a past ijourney passage on the very topic of sincerity and authenticity! (and a deep inquisition into the matter from literary critic Lionel Trilling, but I'll let her share about that :)) An excerpt

"Another way to approach this is to look at the huge difference between sincerity and authenticity. Sincerity, while it's lovely, is necessary but insufficient, because you can be sincere with just one zone of your heart awakened. When many zones of the heart are awakened and harmonized we can speak of authenticity, which is a broader and more complex notion."

For a simple amalgamation of authenticity and sincerity, my brother used to say to me when we were little: say what you mean, and mean what you say. Adding Somik's reflection above it might become: say what you mean, and mean what you say, but don't say it mean...ly.

What came to my mind during the circle was some wise words I once heard (from whom I can't remember): "You can't pretend to be more mature than you actually are." I heard this as encouragement to be just what we're talking about here: sincere and authentic -- and furthermore the subtle message that sometimes this doesn't mean shouting our truth from the rooftops, but rather, like those silent warriors that Nipun acknowledged, engaging in deep listening.

Pavi opened the circle by sharing a story of a sit in India, where someone shared how he spent only 15 minutes of the hour actually meditating, while the rest of the time was spent imaginging the crescent moon. This brought up the question of sincerity - to external appearances, we are meditating, but are we honoring that external act with an internal commitment? Varsha built on this and pointed out that the sharing of the meditator of his failing was also an act of sincerity at one level. Pavi also shared how, with rising awareness, one could see if one's action had the purity of intention, or if multiple intentions were mixed into it. This was a remarkable comment and helped me see in a different way. Building on this, it seems to me that I must try to see what I'm mixing up with great clarity. Only after that can I start to exercise freedom to choose what paints I want to mix, should I choose to do so. The emphasis is on freedom - the paints should not mix up because I can't help it, they should only mix up because I want to paint that way.

Chris and Kanchan raised the question - what is the difference between authenticity and sincerity. To me, authenticity is about truth-telling and ensuring that my actions are consistent with that truth. However, I could arrive at a low level of truth and be authentic about it. I could be an authentic idiot, only causing harm. Sincerity is what keeps my authenticity from becoming dangerous. Sincerity is what pushes me to find a deeper truth and not be satisfied with what is apparent. In the practical setting, if I don't like someone, I can say so for that is my truth. But my sincerity should push me to check why I don't like someone - and then I find it is not the person but the space that person is creating that I am uncomfortable with. That is a deeper truth that I could then express. Or perhaps, I am the one creating the space I don't want to be in. That is an even deeper truth.

Ram uncle shared that he wondered why taking off one's shoes was correlated with the ego. To which Varsha responded that one has to bow to remove one's shoes :).

We had the tree warriors last night, who tried their best to save the trees in Berkeley. They were silent heroes, choosing to listen, and we would not have known until Nipun shared their story with us. In a chat with one of them, I found it surprising that Berkeley could not engage in creative thinking to save their trees. I find Stanford takes extra care - all old trees are marked up and either relocated or protected when construction commences. The other day, as I walked by a newly built massive engineering center at Stanford (the Huang Building), I was utterly shocked by one aspect of the construction - an old tree had been beautifully preserved in mulch, encircled by concrete steps. Imagine a mini-colisseum, where the central organizing principle and focus was a tree :). Imagine the mighty construction bowing to the simplicity of a tree and recognizing it in a grand way. 

Maybe we ought to photograph how Stanford takes care of its trees and show it to Berkeley. ;)

Ganoba as usual made a very deep comment - that sincerity is a stage reached in spirituality where we are aware of our lack of awareness, and therefore make a commitment to openness. Nipun celebrated the silent warriors who held the space. 

All in all a great circle, and we ended with a birthday song for participant from Australia!