Creating Welcoming Space
One way of measuring whether our love is genuine, however, is to examine how far we've extended the boundaries that determine whom we are willing to be in relationship with. When these borders reach out as far as they can go, there will be no one left outside, there will be no one cursed. There will be no more strangers. Everyone will be welcome.
Reflect for a minute on what it feels like to be welcomed. The word means, simply, 'come and be well' in my presence. It's a fundamental human experience, and a very crucial one. When I am welcomed, I feel good. I can be myself. I relax and feel unself-conscious, energized, happy. On the other hand, when I am not welcomed, I doubt myself, turn inward, shrivel up. I feel excluded, not accepted, and not acceptable. This is painful. If it happens often enough, I will question my own self-worth.
Hospitality means creating welcoming space for the other. Henri J. Nouwen notes that the Dutch word for hospitality, gastvrijheid, means 'the freedom of the guest.' It entails creating not just physical room but emotional spaciousness where the stranger can enter and be himself or herself, where the stranger can become ally instead of threat, friend instead of enemy.
[...] That precious experience — when contemplated, cherished, and celebrated — enables me in turn to welcome others: I begin to be less fearful of the other; I start to see the stranger as gift. I become willing to create space in myself to invite the other in, and I open myself to the possibility of being changed by the presence of the other.
I invite the reader to sit with any of the wonderful hospitality stories found in the traditions of all the great religions. Mull them over; ask God for insight into them. Then ask for courage to take small steps in expanding your own circle of hospitality. These might be as tentative as smiling at the stranger in line with you at the grocery store, as deliberate as hosting a get-together for all the strangers in your apartment building, or as dramatic as volunteering to foster an unaccompanied refugee child in your own home. It might not cost you much, or it might mean going out on a limb: Can you imagine yourself during Thanksgiving dinner speaking up to your brother-in-law in defense of the undocumented, pointing out that, really, everyone is kin to us, and everyone has a human right to live where they can support their own family?
What does "creating welcoming space for the other" mean to you? Can you share a personal experience of hospitality where you felt your boundaries of relationship greatly expand? What has helped you mindfully create spaces of welcome?
This is a wonderful reflective piece. :) Thank you for posting it! For those who are planning on using this as inspiration for a class or group discussion, I want to offer this song as a compliment to your lesson plan: Peter Makena's, "Be Welcome Here." Enjoy... B
This is a timely piece as a I prepare to re-enter the classroom tomorrow morning after a 10 year absence. Today, I was shown the industrial portakabin that I will be teaching in. It was cramped, dark, and not particularly welcoming. So tomorrow, I have an opportunity to transform that space and my meeting with a group of young people who don't know me into a welcoming experience . . . and a place where we can all come to be well in each other's presence. Sister Lacey's words and your comments have inspired me. Thank you.
This welcoming space is an important quality and appears everyone is awakening this within themselves on this site. I also feel welcomed here on this site where everyone is respectful of each others individuality and everyone is considerate. It seems everyone is allowed to find their own way in life on Awakening and is without anyone trying to be in control. I also feel on Awakening no one is using each other as a function of themselves or objects to be used for our own gratification. The space is this sharp sense of everyone's unique otherness, as well as the otherness of everything. Everyone appears sensitive and respectful of the individuality of each other. The message that everyone is valuable because we are each individuals is a welcoming space. On Awakening I experience the depths of everyone's heart where I can learn to simply and genuinely be myself. It is the clarification of my boundaries and borders.
The first thought that comes to me is - there is so much more that I can do. There is so much more love that I can put. I am thinking of the moments when I was welcomed with a big heart by known and unknown friends. I feel so encouraged to create a warm space in my heart and home.
To me it means creating and holding life nurturing space for the other person. And to me the key ingredients for life nurturing are - being fully present, listening, appreciating mindfully, respecting freedom, both in physical space as well as with regard to choices/views. Many times, I have experienced both, giving and receiving this kind of hospitality. One experience goes back 5 yrs back when I hosted a destitute old woman in my space and another one is when an adolescent created a welcoming space for me about 8 yrs back, which continues even now after becoming an adult. After reading this piece, I am getting ideas for an upcoming workshop I am designing for doctors working in governement hospitals, to address their attitude towards patients. I am going to use this, so thank you for posting.
Great timing for this piece. I have been editing and updating my course syllabi for the coming semester of graduate level public health studies. It is always a time when I get very reflective regarding the way I want my courses to help transform students (and them to transform me), the content (always changing), and the atmosphere (which is most appropriate for the piece on welcoming and hospitality).
1. saint kabir when ever he helped needy his eyes whare at their feet,when asked why he did this his explanation was lord [narayna] comes in many forms to bless us [na jane kis roop mae mil jaye narayan] so i am surendering to his lotus feet. 2.meera bai favorite chanting mere tao giridhar gopal dusaro na koi [in her eyes only beloved krishna inside and out side everywhare. 3.bhagvad geeta shri krishna explains to us vasudev sarvam iti=every thing is form of lord so whole world is our family there is no others. he also explains divine virtues whare there is no ego, [amaanitvam] when we develop this virtues in action then we have realise infinite space within our self ,always love n.n.c. oh lord make me instrument of thy love
Creating welcoming space for others means extending our hearts and souls outward and realizing that as we allow ourselves to Know strangers, there are no strangers. I've lived this way for several years and it's made all the difference whether through sharing Free Hugs with someone or conversation on the streets with homeless or couchsurfing (staying in a stranger's home while traveling or hosting a stranger in my own living space). Creating welcoming space offers so many opportunities for our own hearts to expand and grow. It brings so much more joy into our lives. It has now transformed for me to serve others to share their Story; whether of survival or hope or overcoming adversity or innovation, it is providing a welcoming space for someone to speak and be listened to. And then sharing the stories with others. Transformative! Grateful!
Henri Nouwen also described Hospitality as "the creation of an empty and safe place for all to discover their gifts to share." This, along with the finding out that the original Latin and in modern French, "hospitality" refers to both guest and host, I was prepared. I left my community and home and have been traveling by train, bus and foot for most of the last year, discovering that where I go, I find my people, for we are all related.
