We Start Where We Are

When we learn to be of service to one another without imposing our ideas and advice, eventually the truth of our wholeness begins to reveal itself.

This is how it unfolds.  In the beginning, we encourage ourselves to believe in another person's inner strength and offer our deepest presence, even if it is difficult.  Over time we see their inner strength come to the surface and they heal.  Suddenly, it dawns on us that what is true for the person we are caring for may well be true for us.  If they have within them everything they need to heal, then perhaps so do we.  At once, the roles of giver and receiver disappear.  Both are student and teacher, healer and healed.  When the day comes thatwe find ourselves immersed in sorrow, for one reason or another, we will know we have within us all that we need to heal.

Some people have the reverse experience: They begin by learning to care for themselves and something shifts inside.  Self love inspires love for others.  Compassion is unleashed from within.  From this inspired place, they begin to care for others in an intentional way.

I've seen it work both ways, and in the end it doesn't matter where we start.  It's that we start.  We start where we are.

--Marianna Cacciatore, Being There for Someone in Grief