It's Okay To Be Perfectly Human
Está bien ser perfectamente humano--por Brian J. Plachta
¿Por qué lo hacemos? ¿Por qué nos regañamos y nos criticamos a nosotr@s mism@s? ¿Por qué lanzamos misiles Scud de palabras y pensamientos negativos contra nuestra autoimagen?
El perfeccionismo es una de las razones. Esperamos ser perfect@s y, cuando no lo somos, nos avergonzamos. Cavamos trincheras de negatividad que nos dicen que somos mal@s. Defectuos@s. Rot@s. Cometemos traición contra nuestra bondad inherente.
Impulsarnos a nosotr@s mism@s para lograr, ser buenos y ser mejores es algo bueno. Nos permite establecer y alcanzar metas, perseguir nuestros sueños y hacer del mundo un lugar mejor. Pero ese impulso puede desequilibrarse cuando se inclina hacia actitudes egoístas, vergonzosas o de "nunca somos lo suficientemente buen@s".
¿Y si, cuando nos damos cuenta de que lanzamos un ataque de negatividad contra nuestra autoimagen, nos detenemos y, en su lugar, nombramos un buen rasgo de carácter que poseemos, una cualidad que nos gusta de nosotr@s mism@s? Recordarnos que somos buen@s, enseñables y amables puede ser una práctica sencilla que nos ayude a apagar el interruptor de la negatividad en nuestra cabeza.
Al adoptar la práctica de afirmarnos y aceptarnos a nosotr@s mism@s, bajamos deliberadamente la barrera inalcanzable del perfeccionismo. Nos permitimos ser perfectamente human@s.
Ser perfectamente human@s significa que cometeremos errores y, cuando lo hagamos, los admitiremos y aprenderemos de ellos. Significa amarnos a nosotr@s mism@s incondicionalmente, adoptando la imagen y semejanza con la que Dios nos creó: buen@s, amoros@s, conectad@s con su Espíritu Santo por la Luz Interior que habita en nuestros corazones.
Si fuéramos perfect@s, no necesitaríamos lo Divino. Seríamos Dios. Pero no lo somos, y tampoco se supone que tengamos que serlo. Nuestro trabajo es ser perfectamente human@s. Buen@s, desordenad@s y enseñables. Somos la parte humana del Equipo Divino, con quien el Creador nos invita a co-crear más amor en el mundo.
Cuando hacemos las paces con nuestras guerras internas y aceptamos todas las partes de nosotr@s mism@s sin juzgar, creamos más espacio para que Dios nos ame, para que nos amemos a nosotr@s mism@s y luego para que nos convirtamos en multiplicadores del amor incondicional hacia los demás.
Deten la guerra interna. En cambio, toma el arado de la autoaceptación. Afirma tu humilde bondad y permítete ser perfectamente human@.
Preguntas semilla para la reflexión: ¿Cómo nos relacionamos con la noción de que afirmarnos y aceptarnos deliberadamente baja el listón inalcanzable del perfeccionismo? ¿Puedes compartir una historia personal de una ocasión en la que pudiste amarte a ti mism@ incondicionalmente? ¿Qué te ayuda a aceptar tus partes buenas, desordenadas y enseñables?
Brian Plachta es autor y mentor. Cuando una monja le pidió que encontrara una regla de vida, la suya fue: Encontrar el Flujo.
Brian Plachta is author and mentor. When a nun asked him to find a rule of life, his was -- Finding Flow.
SEED QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION: How do we relate to the notion that affirming and accepting ourselves purposely lowers the unattainable bar of perfectionism? Can you share a personal story of a time you were able to love yourself unconditionally? What helps you accept the good, messy and teachable parts of you?
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8 Past Reflections
On Sep 24, 2024 Barbara S wrote :
Reflecting on this post, Forgiveness, loving oneself must be learned if the seeds were not planted in ones early years.
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On Sep 22, 2024 paul fillinger wrote :
This is such a good reminder. It's hard to always forgive ourselves but with enough nudges like this, I may get there!
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On Sep 20, 2024 Sunil wrote :
No expectations, Detachment and Acceptance is practicing spirituality.
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On Sep 20, 2024 Cholena wrote :
I picked up the plowshare of self acceptance once when I accepted the reality of mental illness. I stopped calling myself a monster. I stopped calling myself undisciplined.
This Love allowed me to see there are no bad parts of myself even though I still have unskillful behavior from time to time.
This Love allowed me to see there are no bad parts of myself even though I still have unskillful behavior from time to time.
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On Sep 20, 2024 David Doane wrote :
I agree with the notion that affirming and accepting ourselves lowers the perfectionism bar. Problem is, really affirming and accepting self in a way that makes much difference is difficult. Not accepting self is deeply ingrained, and intellectually reminding self that we're good is too superficial and doesn't penetrate to where not accepting comes from. As for perfect, we are perfect when we allow our real self to be and express -- I believe our real self is our God self. I'm always able to love myself unconditionally, but I don't -- times of loving myself unconditionally are few and far between. I think loving myself unconditionally ended by age two, which I think is true for most of us. One big help for me in accepting me is loving and positive responses from others.
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On Sep 19, 2024 Gururaj wrote :
Yes, negativity, egotistical, shameful, or never-good-enough attitudes are constricting. Gentle acceptance is relaxing and neutralising . Reverence to the (un-apparent) sublime in us is expanding. Frequent rememberance of this is an antidote to the unhelpful habits of the mind. Striving for perfection or doing better at whatever i aim for is, in itself, a necessary driving force. For example, for creating this very post, i have had to be patient, delve into my experiences and reflect. However, as Brian Plachta, explains, one ought not to tilt into imbalance. Usually keeping to deadlines of time and accepting the realities of situations is a balancing factor against getting too carried away with perfectionism.
Loving / accepting myself unconditionally, in one recent situation for me, after having committed a mistake, arose in me naturally when i had an organic feel of something in my being which was unaffected, pure. The wallowing in guilt was broken.
Loving / accepting myself unconditionally, in one recent situation for me, after having committed a mistake, arose in me naturally when i had an organic feel of something in my being which was unaffected, pure. The wallowing in guilt was broken.
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On Sep 19, 2024 Jagdish P Dave wrote :
Life is like a river flowing through ups and downs of living and I need to go with the flow. As a human being I have gone through many ups and downs in my life. Rather than fighting against the ups and downs of life I have learnt to accept both. When I accept both I do not block the flow of energy. I accept the ups and downs of the current of the river in my life. Maintaining a dynamic balance between ups and downs saves my energy and it helps me to go with the flow.
As a growing human being I have learnt that to err is human and to forgive is divine. When I err I do not deny my error. I forgive myself, learn from my errors and move on. I do not create a wall of denial, deceive myself and continue repeating the same cycle of misery. From my experience I have learnt the lesson of not to stop the river of life flowing. From my experience I have learnt to let the river of forgiveness flow. Forgiving myself and the others in my life and loving myself unconditionally has lightened the b... [View Full Comment]
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On Sep 19, 2024 stream wrote :
Yikes! Perfectionism? Even the humans we may model ourselves after, the one's we hold as having lived the most admirable lives had flaws. So, I am being the most perfect me that I know how to be. I love myself unconditionally right now. I have missed the mark of full honesty with my beloved partner due to following what might be an addictive shadow. And I suffer and learn. What helps me to accept those messy yet teachable parts of me is my hearts desire for peace. If I am playing my part in co-creating the peaceful world that I want to live in then I first can be at peace.