Excerpted from here. Tara Brach’s teachings blend Western psychology and Eastern spiritual practices, mindful attention to our inner life, and a full, compassionate engagement with our world.
SEED QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION: How do you relate to the suggestion to consciously take our hands off the controls and notice our inner experience? Can you share a personal story of a time you did this? What helps you remember to take a sacred pause?
Very true, but modern society makes this difficult, be persistant, its worth it! xx
I put my beloved dog to sleep on Saturday. I miss her terribly and long for a sign that she is near me. Yesterday, as I was crying in the shower, a voice told me to calm down and be still, because with all my despair, saying over and over how much I love her, she could not get through to me. I got quiet and felt better. It takes a quiet pause to communicate with your animal friend.
Thank you. I needed this reminder. I have experienced a challenging week with memories of past childhood sexual molestation surfacing. This weekend I went on a retreat with someone dear to me. We were lucky to have no internet access for an entire 3 days and it was so refreshing to tune into the nature around us in the Canadian wilderness. We hiked in solitude, often in quiet even together. We paused, sat on benches and breathed in fresh mountain air. We gazed at mountains, we felt snow on our faces. It was a respite from any type of control and it felt so freeing. My mind felt much more settled after disconnected and recalibrating. I am grateful.
In fact, we have so little control. I very much value letting go of trying to control and taking hold of trusting my inner experience. In general, we do far too much trying to control self, others, and situations and too little noticing, trusting, and expressing our inner experience. There have been times in relationships when I don't try to control direction or outcome and trust my inner experience, being present, open, and true to my inner experience, and it invariably is a positive experience. A good mantra would be inner experience, not control. I like the author's phrase "sacred pause." To me, what makes it sacred is when in it my inner experience and outer expression are in harmony and I am integrated rather than fragmented or duplicitous.
An intentional pause is the first step to get us out of almost any dreadful situation, to see the bigger picture, to realize what actually is happening, and more importantly, to communicate with our body and inner self. Because we do not naturally just pause, it often is helpful to set up some sort of reminder, such as setting up a recurring alarm or ask a good friend to check in with you from time to time.
Yesterday, I was telling someone of a great gift given me. Many years ago, a "pause button" popped in my head. When someone says or does something ridiculous, abusive, crazy and self serving, instead of reacting, the phrase "Humans, don't ya just love 'em." rises. It immediately gives me distance to allow tolerance and compassion to take the place of a knee-jerk, selfish reaction. This phrase originally surfaced without any conscious effort, and has served as a tremendous gift of the pause I need to see how much more we are alike than different.