Love Needs to be Constantly Cleansed
El Amor Necesita Limpiarse Constantemente
--por Ajahn Jayasaro
En las historias que yo apreciaba en mi juventud, los finales felices casi siempre implicaban algún tipo de amor, y empecé a observar que en la "vida real" el amor no siempre es una garantía de felicidad y rara vez resuelve algo por mucho tiempo. Una de las frases del día que más me impresionó de adolescente era la que preguntaba si eres parte del problema o parte de la solución. Creo que esta es una pregunta que podríamos hacer sobre el amor. ¿Es realmente parte de la solución a nuestro sufrimiento en la vida o simplemente lo agrava? Mi respuesta a esta pregunta es que depende. ¿De qué? Del tipo de amor y cómo te preocupas por él. Incluso el amor más puro necesita ser limpiado constantemente.
¿Por qué es necesario seguir limpiando el amor? La respuesta fácil es que tiende a ensuciarse. Y la suciedad que lo mancha es el sufrimiento, y la causa del sufrimiento: el deseo no correspondido. Puesto que nosotros los seres humanos no deseamos ni siquiera el mínimo sufrimiento y aceptamos de buen grado cada brizna de felicidad que se cruza en nuestro camino, tiene sentido cuidar que los diversos aspectos de nuestra vida que nos llevan hacia la felicidad y nos libran del sufrimiento, incluido el amor. El amor es una parte de la vida que necesitamos imbuir de sabiduría y entendimiento.
El amor tiende a entrelazarse con otras emociones, haciendo que aquellos que nunca lo han considerado de cerca confundan las emociones asociadas con el amor con una parte o, de hecho, con las expresiones del amor mismo. Por lo general, por ejemplo, en lugar de considerar las preocupaciones y los celos como impurezas del amor, los tomamos como una prueba de él y, por tanto, acogemos con gusto tales sentimientos. Tendemos a estar ciegos a las impurezas del amor. Es alarmante la facilidad con que las impurezas (es decir, los estados mentales negativos como la codicia, el odio y el engaño), que pueden destruir el amor, se deslizan dentro de un corazón [...]. La mayoría de las personas son como el dueño de una casa con un vano abierto en lugar de una puerta. Cualquiera es libre de entrar o salir de esa casa y no es de extrañar que los ladrones abunden.
Es inteligente aprender sobre el amor porque conocer y comprender nuestra propia naturaleza es el único camino hacia la paz y la felicidad a la que los seres humanos podemos y debemos aspirar.
Preguntas semilla para la reflexión: ¿Cómo te relacionas con la noción de que consideramos erróneamente emociones como preocupaciones y celos como prueba del amor? ¿Puedes compartir una historia personal de alguna vez que te diste cuenta de la necesidad de limpiar tu amor? ¿Qué te ayuda a mantenerte consciente de la necesidad de limpiar constantemente tu amor?
Extraído del libro de Ajahn Jayasaro, On Love.
SEED QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION: How do you relate to the notion that we mistakenly consider emotions like worries and jealousy as proof of love? Can you share a personal story of a time you became aware of the need to cleanse your love? What helps you stay aware of the need to constantly cleanse your love?
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7 Past Reflections
On Nov 24, 2016 Dinesh Mehta wrote :
Often we block the flow of our real nature and expression through love, peace and compassion as we generate impurities in our mind. Impurities manifest in the form of different emotions. One easy way to avoid this blockage is to be in the present moment and accepting the reality as it is.
1 reply: Aj | Post Your Reply
On Nov 23, 2016 Rajesh wrote :
Yes there Is definitely need for constant cleansing. I would even use the phrase "constant vigilance". Without vigilance, the defilements can be mistaken for love and can develop into an unhealthy pattern over time in the relationship. The constant cleansing will keep us and our relationships aligned with the universe.
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On Nov 22, 2016 Annette wrote :
For me, if the love between myself and another feels uneven, that is, if I feel as if I'm giving more than I receive, I feel taken advantage of. I've adapted to the others in my life until I've established some sort of pattern and unhealthy molding of my being to accept this unevenness, this unbalance. It's not that I expect the other to to love exactly as I do ('The 5 Love Languages' goes into the differences), but it's more of this observation that I am being taken for granted. I wonder if this feeling of unfulfillment I experience is something I need to just accept and live with it realizing that the other won't or can't love me 'more' or if I just need to not settle and find someone else who can fulfill this 'need' or desire in me to be loved in a more balanced way.
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On Nov 19, 2016 Jagdish P Dave wrote :
It has been my experience that pure love brings peace, joy, happiness and fulfillment. It has helped me grow and expand. It has also helped the other connected with me grow and expand.Love keeps the tree of life green and flourish.
It has also been my experience that craving to possess and to control the other in intimate relationships causes suffering. Such suffering has helped me to reflect on me, awaken me and is has created deeper bonding. Such love showers flowers of joy, peace, happiness and fulfillment. When love gets soiled by selfish desires and cravings, we need to cleanse the dust before it gets dense and heavy.
It is my conviction that when I wake up from my self-created suffering, the light of love dawns upon me and makes me free from my own bondage. Such awakening demands courage to be true to oneself and to the other.
May we wake up from our self-created suffering and be grateful to receive the blessings of pure love!
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On Nov 19, 2016 david doane wrote :
Emotions like worry and jealously aren't proof of love but are likely to be evidence of insecurity, control, and possessiveness. Love is positive for the lover and for the one loved, and trying to control and possess is not positive for either. Healthy love sets you free, not binds you down. Healthy love involves intimacy that allows freedom, individuality, and growth. I've had experiences of wanting to possess who I loved, and it didn't work -- that kind of love hurt the relationship rather than nurture it. Unfortunately I didn't become aware of the need to cleanse the way I was loving until far into the relationship and much damage had already been done. Such painful experiences have resulted in my being aware of the need to cleanse my love. As the saying goes, good judgment comes from experience, experience comes from bad judgment.