David Brooks is a columnist from NY Times. The above excerpt is from his article The Moral Bucket List.
SEED QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION: How do you relate to the distinction between eulogy and resume virtues? Can you share a personal story of a time you became aware of this distinction in your own life? What practice helps you develop eulogy virtues?
Deciding what it is important evolves through a lifetime. I am fortunate to celebrate 77 years and a few years back, I realized that gratitude needed to be my new attitude. It wasn't necessary to find that niche that would lead to glory in this world, but to find ways to improve the lives of others, if possible.... as I realized many in my life had contributed to my own growth. Serving others is what life can be about.
For me both of the two are building virtues, the only distinction between the two is that eulogy is a virtue we build prior to the day we leave the world and such virtue will continue to work in hand, while the resume is a virtue we build to be equipped in the present.
What a beautiful realization of the ultimate truth of living an impeccable life- that we all can have a meaningful satisfied joyous life when we find our truth and honor our authentic self and that we are being ourselves in every step. This article is a gem :)
Beautiful writing to reflect upon. One thing I have realized that when I meet such joyful souls fully rooted into the present, there is definitely desire to be like them. But the desire to be like somebody else can be a dangerous thing as it can go into negative cycle of thoughts of I am not good enough, not present enough and the thoughts keep going on....The thing that helps is having the inner awareness and getting in touch with the "deeper Self" which is present in everyone. There are lot of instances when I loose the touch with this "self" these are the times that become entangled in the external things and situations, then bringing the awareness back to the "being" level helps me stay centered without being sucked into the negativity. Deepening this awareness can help us to be like those joyful , ever present ,radiant souls.
My biggest growth has been by my own hard times....facing them, learning from them & THEN having the empathy for others in trying times & being able to truly have the empathy & also the knowledge to share things that help them & I SEE their spirits lift & their eyes glow & I know I am serving my purpose!
To me Eulogy and Resume is a question of what you do between the short gap of life & death.Its all about soul connections made during this gap.Personally I can tell you this happens only when you manifest the latent harmony,friendship, forgiveness & the eternal love..................bypassing everything else, all the negativity.What ultimately matters is human relationships and not right or wrong. Cultivating this habit as our culture , daily routine with mindfulness consciously is indeed experiencing the beauty, fulfillment and amazement of life.
Rightly said Eulogy virtues are only spoken at the time of funeral. The hard truth of the world is that resume virtues are the ones that are celebrated. Sometimes it has been noticed that even spiritual gurus are inclined to support those devotees whose resume virtues are high. The distinction hence stands out clearly and though we would wish to nurture our eulogy virtues sometimes practical reality does tilt it otherwise. The practice one follows is to find a balance between the two and hold on to what helps in living with inner truth of being.