The Positivity Ratio
Formula optimismului--de Barbara Fredrickson
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Imaginați-vă că sunteți un crin de apă. Este dimineață devreme și petalele tale îți acoperă chipul. Când apuci să vezi ceva, zărești doar o rază de lumină. Pe măsură ce soarele se ridică pe cer lucrurile încep să se schimbe. Petalele din jurul chipului se deschid și lumea ta se extinde. Poți vedea mai mult. Lumea ta este mai mare. Așa cum căldura soarelui deschide florile, căldura optimismului ne deschide mințile și inimile. Ne schimbă și perspectiva vizuală la un nivel fundamental, laolaltă cu abilitatea noastră de a vedea umanitatea noastră, a tuturor. Știm acest lucru datorită studiilor ce s-au realizat pe acest subiect [...]. Cercetătorii au aflat că în prezența unei emoții benefice, creierul celor din jur se molipsesc cu această stare, chiar și atunci când încearcă să ignore ceea ce se petrece. Când oamenii sunt într-o stare neutră sau trăiesc emoții negative, ei nu reușesc deloc să observe contextul. Acest fapt sugerează că atunci când oamenii trăiesc emoții benefice, ei au o stare de conștientizare mai largă -- fapt ce poate explica de ce aceștia au o mai bună memorie a detaliilor periferice, când își readuc în atenție amintiri pozitive. Emoțiile benefice ne ajută să descoperim mai multe posibilități. Dar oare de cât de mult optimism avem nevoie în viață pentru a beneficia de aceste avantaje -- cât de mult este îndeajuns? Cercetările noastre au arătat că un raport de cel puțin trei la unu -- anume trei emoții pozitive pentru fiecare emoție negativă -- tinde să încline balanța, ceea ce va face diferența dintre doar a îndura viața și a duce o viață împlinită și plină de posibilități, beneficiind de reziliență în momente dificile. Este important de reținut că raportul nu este de trei la zero. Așadar nu este vorba despre a elimina emoțiile dificile. Parte din scenariul nostru este că emoțiile negative sunt de fapt necesare. Să ne gândim la metafora unui velier. Din mijlocul ambarcațiunii se ridică catargul uriaș, ceea ce permite velei să prindă vântul și să țină velierul în mișcare. Sub nivelul apei se află chila, ce poate cântări mai multe tone. Putem privi catargul ca fiind optimismul și chila ca pesimismul. Dacă ești în mișcare, știi că deși catargul ține vela, nu poți naviga fără chilă; ambarcațiunea fie ar pluti în derivă, fie s-ar răsturna. Pesimismul, chila, este ceea ce permite bărcii să înainteze în condiții bune. Când am pomenit de această metaforă la o conferință, un domn din public a spus: ‘Chila contează cel mai mult atunci când navigați împotriva vântului, așadar atunci când întâmpinați dificultăți’. Trăirea și exprimarea emoțiilor dificile este parte din procesul de împlinire chiar și când -- sau mai ales atunci când - dăm de greu, întrucât acestea ne ajută să rămânem în contact cu ceea ce trăim. [...] Un proverb sufi spune astfel: Nu ar exista aur falsificat, dacă undeva în lume nu ar exista aur adevărat. Așadar cum facem să ne folosim de emoții benefice și autentice fără să ne agățăm de aurul falsificat?
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Întrebări pentru reflecție: Cum vă raportați la ideea că emoțiile negative ne ajută să rămânem în contact cu ceea ce trăim? Ați putea împărtăși o experiență când emoțiile benefice v-au permis să accesați un context mai larg și mai multe posibilități? Ce vă ajută să vă folosiți de emoții benefice și autentice fără să vă agățați de aurul falsificat?
Barbara Fredrickson is the Kenan Distinguished Professor at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill. She is also the author of Positivity. Excerpt above from this article.
SEED QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION: How do you relate to the notion that negative emotions help us 'stay in touch with the reality of the difficulties we're facing'? Can you share a personal story of a time positive emotions opened up more context and possibilities for you? What helps you tap into genuine, heartfelt positive emotions without grasping for the counterfeit gold?
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15 Past Reflections
On Jul 24, 2020 Usha Shetty wrote :
Everything comes with a purpose. Night we sleep because it is dark. Darkness implies dark times of our life where we spend sleeping, which also means it is meant to rest. Rest our body,and organs, relaxing & calming our mind and soul. It also indicates a transition period from darkness to light. In turn sunlight brings energy, hope and a dream of a good day ahead.
I personally believe, every difficulty in my life made me think better and develop stronger version of myself. If I would not have faced difficulty, I probably might not understand the pain one goes through, and I would have been insensitive to their agony. Now I feel alive to understand and resolve others problem. I totally feel connected and exactly feel the feeling one undergoes.
There was a time I was shunned and I did not speak, for not 4 weeks or 4 months but for almost 4 years. Faced countless emotional difficulties. But with every difficulty it evolved me, and if one does not loose hope, work hard towards the po... [View Full Comment]
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On Jul 7, 2020 Ambika wrote :
We have chosen to occupythis physical body- which is born and hence has to 'Die'. We have chosen to be in this world of polarity.
At a personal level, I am eternally grateful to the times I do not have a migraine headache because I have experienced one. i am able to empathize with those who get a head ache. What if I have never experienced one? All the so called negative states we go through- loss, pain, disease....makes us sensitive, appreciative and ever grateful. Without a sunset how could I eulogize a sunrise? Negative and positive together creates light. when we are light beings both need to co-exist. Each adds value to the other. fake gold is shunned because i know the luster of real gold.It is the fake gold that adds value to real Gold.
At a personal level, I am eternally grateful to the times I do not have a migraine headache because I have experienced one. i am able to empathize with those who get a head ache. What if I have never experienced one? All the so called negative states we go through- loss, pain, disease....makes us sensitive, appreciative and ever grateful. Without a sunset how could I eulogize a sunrise? Negative and positive together creates light. when we are light beings both need to co-exist. Each adds value to the other. fake gold is shunned because i know the luster of real gold.It is the fake gold that adds value to real Gold.
1 reply: Love | Post Your Reply
On Jul 7, 2020 Ava Rindal wrote :
I love Awakin Weekly. It helps me to feel calm in a crazy world. However, the "positivity ratio" has been thoroughly debunked, the math upon which it relies was taken out of context and based on numerous theoretical and factual errors. The author of this piece has recanted her support and admitted she didn't understand the math the author of the original theory used. In any case, I thought you should know.
1 reply: Aryae | Post Your Reply
On Jul 7, 2020 Deborah watson wrote :
A philosopher I listen to states, " When you know what you don't want, you know what you do want". Emotions, for me, are a great way to show me where I am on my spiritual path. Am I heading towards joy or am I heading towards fear? Then my power of choice comes in and my opportunity to pivot or not.
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On Jul 7, 2020 Soulwing wrote :
When upbringing and childhood is good and full of love, you have a reservoir and you continueto collect and create positivity. Be kind and share with those who may, not of their own choice, have had the same childhood and share extra love and kindness their way.
1 reply: Usha | Post Your Reply
On Jul 7, 2020 Ken Elkind wrote :
Positive things will happen in one's life, when they become of our purpose of Grooving. Be the One!www.groovism.org provides The One!
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On Jul 7, 2020 Emilia wrote :
Actually very negative experiences are often also registered in great detail. Even the moments just before. There have also been studies that showed that happier people are less vigilant/ critical than people having 'a bad day', which results in lower scores on things such as problem solving. Seems like a fair trade-off.
I do think that if you don't experience negative emotions you are skipping out on the experience of being alive, of having a finite body, of loosing loved ones. Grief is the counterbalance to love in a way.
I do think that if you don't experience negative emotions you are skipping out on the experience of being alive, of having a finite body, of loosing loved ones. Grief is the counterbalance to love in a way.
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On Jul 7, 2020 Rajni wrote :
Without darkness sun has no value however there is no reason to keep ourselves in darkness. We need sleep to rest and recharge our battery but our main goal is to work efficiently and wisely during awake time. Positive Thoughts yields to positive results. Negative thoughts help us keep us move positivity to higher level when we replace it with appropriate positive thought.
I have been trying to think positively for last 12 years. It has simplified my life very much. I used to forget many things now I get prompts from inner voice. I am thankful to the universe for all the positive experiences in my life sending timely help from other, many a time miraculously. I tell others to think positively with stories and my experiences.
I have been trying to think positively for last 12 years. It has simplified my life very much. I used to forget many things now I get prompts from inner voice. I am thankful to the universe for all the positive experiences in my life sending timely help from other, many a time miraculously. I tell others to think positively with stories and my experiences.
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On Jul 4, 2020 David Doane wrote :
When light increases and when blinders open, vision expands. Opening one's mind and heart, one sees differently. Context seen is undoubtedly affected by what one is feeling. Emotions called positive help us see different possibilities than emotions called negative. I think the keel is just as positive as the mast. I think staying on course is related to all the 'parts' including the keel and the mast. Emotions are related to the person one is and experiences one has. Emotions are in response to being in touch, and if experienced as negative or positive they may help us stay in touch. Feelings considered negative likely result in narrowed awareness and feelings considered positive more likely widen awareness. The negative and positive definitely provide contrast -- and without the one you wouldn't know there is the other. Feeling satisfaction has prompted me to investigate further, expand my knowledge, and focus my vision which has opened up more context, more possibilit... [View Full Comment]
1 reply: Amen | Post Your Reply
On Jul 3, 2020 Jagdish P Dave wrote :
I have learned from my personal experience that life is not a straight line. It has curves, twists and turns. I have experienced negative emotions such as fear, depression and anger. They are not easy to control. Such negative emotions have made my life difficult. There are two ways of dealing with such negative emotions: denial,suppression or rationalization. The other way is to recognize them, and work on them or get professional help.
Some time ago I went for one week long silent retreat. The first two days were
difficult for me. I am not used to remaining silent for more than a day. It was a new and difficult experience for me. I felt restless, agitated, and bored. I accepted my difficult emotions and difficult times. After two days it was easy for me to remain silent. In fact I enjoyed the presence of silence and saw the value and power of silence. I spent a good amount of time on introspection and also seeing the peaceful beauty of nature. Silence opened up new doors of percepti... [View Full Comment]