Feel Free To Set A Better Example
Simțiți-vă liberi să dați un exemplu mai bun— de Ryan Holiday
În miezul teoriei juridice se află ideea că există în esență două forme de libertate — pozitivă și negativă. Libertatea pozitivă este libertatea de a face ceva, cum ar fi libertatea de exprimare sau libertatea de cult. Libertatea negativă este libertatea de ceva, ceea ce este puțin mai complicat. De exemplu, în Statele Unite, al treilea amendament al Constituției stipulează că guvernul nu poate să trimită trupe în locuința oricărei persoane individuale. Al patrulea amendament protejează cetățenii de căutări și confiscări nerezonabile. După cum a subliniat FDR, libertatea de dorință și frică sunt la fel de importante ca și vorbirea și închinarea.
Partea complicată a acestui lucru, bineînțeles, este locul în care libertatea cuiva de a face ceva intersectează cu dorința altcuiva de a fi liber de el.
Poți să-ți spui ce ai pe suflet... dar asta ar putea jigni sau răni pe altcineva. Ar trebui să fii capabil să faci ce vrei pe propria proprietate... dar mersul pe jos în pielea goală cu muzică tare poate face ca vecinii tăi să facă același lucru. Ar trebui să vă puteți lua propriile decizii medicale pentru familia ta... dar decizia de a nu vaccina afectează pe toți cei cu care familia intră în contact.
Specificul acestor aspecte este tărâmul propriu al politicienilor și al avocaților, dar Epictetus lasă cu o întrebare dificilă și atemporală: Ce este de la noi și nu după noi?
Într-o lume a celor exagerat de sensibili și fragili precum și a pornografiei exasperate, este ușor să te retragi de pe drumul tău și să te concentrezi pe oprirea altor persoane de a spune lucruri dureroase sau jignitoare, mai degrabă decât să evaluăm ceea ce spunem și să fim atenți la modul în care răspundem. Vrem să ne ridicăm în treburile celorlalți, când de fapt, la urma urmei, tot ceea ce controlăm este doar pe noi înșine.
Ceea ce este ridicol, pentru că există atât de multe lucruri în viața noastră pe care să ne concentrăm. Ce fel de persoană vom fi? Ce vom face cu libertățile noastre? Deciziile noastre influențează negativ alte persoane? Suntem într-adevăr atât de liberi, așa cum ne place să credem că suntem?
Și iată un lucru contraintuitiv despre toate acestea: Marcus Aureliu a vorbit în repetate rânduri despre cel mai bun mod de a influența și inspira alte persoane. Nu cu forța, ci prin exemplu. Dacă doriți să fiți liberi de tirania opiniilor celorlalți și comportamentul rău, nu ezitați să dați un exemplu mai bun.
Semnificația întrebărilor pentru reflecție: Cum te referi la noțiunea de a-ți asuma răspunderea personală pentru a fi schimbarea, spre deosebire de critica altora? Poți împărtăși o poveste personală despre un moment în care ți-ai întors atenția asupra ta, în loc să-i critici pe alții pentru că sunt jignitori? Ce vă ajută să rămâneți înrădăcinați în a da unui exemplu mai bun?
Extras din The Daily Stoic. Ryan Holiday este un autor american, promotor și antreprenor.
Excerpted from The Daily Stoic. Ryan Holiday is an American author, marketer and entrepreneur.
SEED QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION: How do you relate to the notion of taking personal responsibility for being the change as opposed to critiquing others? Can you share a personal story of a time you shifted the focus back to yourself instead of censuring others for being hurtful? What helps you stay rooted in setting a better example?
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12 Past Reflections
On Mar 10, 2023 Tanya Burgoyne wrote :
To the awakin.org owner, Your posts are always well-balanced and objective.
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On Mar 9, 2023 Valencia Loya wrote :
To the awakin.org owner, Your posts are always well-written and easy to understand.
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On Feb 7, 2023 Randi George wrote :
To the awakin.org administrator, Your posts are always informative and well-explained.
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On Apr 30, 2019 amy wrote :
The first amendment actually doesn't grant you the right to say anything you want. It just prevents the government from prosecuting you for it. It doesn't stop other people from realizing that you're ignorant and telling you that.
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On Apr 24, 2019 Carol Ann Hedemark wrote :
There was a time when I only looked outside of myself to place blame on others for my challenges. I blamed my behaviors on my upbringing or past hurts. I justified, rationalized and lied to myself that however I lived was OK just as long as I wasn't hurting anyone but myself. After hitting a mental, physical and spiritual bottom in 2010, I became open and willing to begin the process of making changes in my life to recover from a very dark place. I woke up to the truth that the only thing I can change is myself, my attitudes, my beliefs and my behaviors. What I thought was the fault ofothers was my responsibility to change. My perception shifted and myactions began to change and my life got better.I am responsible for change. I am responsible for being in acceptance. I pray, I mediate, I try to do the next right actionand I practice being in the present moment where the truth lives. I by no means do this perfectly but I know that when I am in acceptance of life on life's terms,... [View Full Comment]
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On Apr 23, 2019 Amy wrote :
If I respond wrongly in any given situation, I punish myself. When God gave me (us) the 10 commandments, He didn’t do it to gift Himself ... but to actually gift me (us). In following His plan, I am free. When I am able to set my sin aside and do what He has commanded me to do, I am living Truth (in His love). When I set a bad example, (do not follow His commands), I am living falsely, (outside of Him) ... and this is a way I do NOT wish to take. I am not responsible for anyone else’s behavior but my own. It’s each one of us ... one on One with God.
“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” (Some wise person said something along this line.”
Enjoyed others comments ... FYI:)
“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” (Some wise person said something along this line.”
Enjoyed others comments ... FYI:)
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On Apr 23, 2019 jyotima wrote :
My story is a perfect example of Grace and Gratitude. Since my childhood i suffered from health challenges. I was fighter and kept bouncing back to live a normal life. During this process of fighting i lost my own power and started blaming and complaining about everything. My entire focus Went on what is not happening right in my life and ignoring all the good things in life , till i reached a tipping point. In year 2010 i experienced lifeand death situation , that was the turning point in my life. I realised during those moments how much blessed i was and how much i was missing the important things in life by just complaining. I learnt the magical power of Gratitude and Grace. I took responsibilty of my own life and started working towards it. I revived myself to new life by practicing Gratitude, Forgiveness and unconditional love. Today i am living an happy blessed abundant grateful life. And Whatever i learnt during the process today i pay forward by helping people To take responsi... [View Full Comment]
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On Apr 23, 2019 Tyler wrote :
I began to see my part in things as I worked the 12 steps of AA. This was about admitting my wrongs of the past, willingness to make amends and continuing to take a moral and personal inventory throughout the rest of my life! It was a game changer for me! I think the Serenity Prayer has been very beneficial in this process as well. Today, I practice keeping my side of the street clean, staying in my own lane and praying for the wisdom to know what is mine to do and what is not! Peace and Joy! Tyler D
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On Apr 21, 2019 David Doane wrote :
I very much support the notion of taking personal responsibility for being the change as opposed to critiquing others. Critiquing others, especially unasked for critiquing, doesn't help. Be the change you want to see in the world is Gandhi's message. It makes sense to me. So does the Golden Rule. Both seem to be very basic wisdom to live. I often live by the Golden Rule, being considerate, compassionate, and taking responsibility for my behavior, and usually don't censure those who aren't (except in my head, which is its own problem). What helps me stay rooted in setting a good example is knowing that I can only change me, knowing that how I am affects others, and knowing that my right action is its own reward no matter what happens.
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On Apr 20, 2019 Jagdish P Dave wrote :
I take my personal responsibility for making my choices that are healthy, wise, constructive and helpful only to me but to others.It's up to me to choose what to eat or not. I may eat junk food and fill my body-mind-and heart with junk and unhealthy and toxic stuff, desires, thoughts and emotions prompting and compelling me not only me but others around me.
Daily living offers me several opportunities to train my mind not to react ignorantly but wisely.Yesterday I was in a grocery store to buy fresh vegetables. The space was not wide enough for three carts to go through.Right in front of my cart, there were two ladies talking amicably with their carts parked blocking my way. I remained mindful of my thoughts and feelings arising in me. So in stead of pushing their carts angrily I took time out to put them aside so that I can move on. My intention was not to teach them a lesson or expect a "thank you expression"from them. They did it on their own. This is not a big event b... [View Full Comment]