One February Morning in Vietnam
वियतनाम में फ़रवरी की एक सुबह
- यूजीन हिल्डरब्रैन्ट
वह एक और सुबह थी चू लाई, वियतनाम में जहाँ मैं एक बहुत बड़े और भद्दे आर्मी बेस में स्थित था। फ़रवरी की उस सुबह जब मैं कीचड़ भरे गड्ढ़ों से बचता अपनी सुबह की ड्यूटी पर जा रहा था, मैंने अचानक अपने आप को एक टीले पर खड़ा पाया।
कोहरे के उस पार उन जामुनी पर्वतों को देख कर मुझे अचानक ऐसा लगा मानो मैं उन पहाड़ों में और वो पहाड़ मुझ में समा गए हों। वो नन्हे कीचड़ के गड्ढ़े अब उतने ही मेरे शरीर का अंग मालूम हो रहे थे जितनी की मेरे हाथों की अंगुलियां। वो नीरस हरा आर्मी ट्रक, वो कांटेदार तार का गोल जंगला और वो सब चीज़ें जो अब तक हमेशा मेरे मन में सिर्फ़ बुरे खयाल जगाती थीं, वो केवल इंसान की अज्ञानता मालूम हो रही थीं।
इतने में एक और जवान, जिसे मैं खास पहचानता नहीं था, उस मैदान में से गुज़रा और मैंने अपने मन में उसके लिये कुछ ऐसा प्््रेम महसूस किया जिसको शब्दों में व्यक्त नहीं किया जा सकता। उसे देख कर मुझे कुछ एैसा अहसास हुआ जैसे कि वह जवान और कोई नहीं, बल्कि मानो उसकी काया में वो मैं ही हूं। मैं एक ऐसे आनन्द में मग्न हो गया जिसका अहसास मुझे पहले कभी नहीं हुआ था - जैसे मुझ में और किसी दूसरी वस्तु या व्यक्ति में कोई अंतर ही नहीं रह गया हो, जैसे मेरे चारों तरफ़ की किसी भी चीज़ के बारे में मेरा कोई मत ही न रह गया हो। बाद में जब मैंने इस अनुभव को शब्दों में प्रकट करने का प्रयत्न किया तो " एकत्व" ही एक ऐसा शब्द था जो मेरे दिमाग़ में आया।
करीब दो सप्ताह बाद जब मैं एल जी ब्रौंको पहुँचा तो वहाँ रखी कुछ किताबों में से एक किताब पर मेरा ध्यान गया जिसका नाम था - " द बुक... औन द टैबू अगेन्स्ट नोइंग हू यू आर" - ऐलन वौट्स ( " तुम कौन हो ये जानने की मनाही पर लिखी किताब")। जब मैंने उस किताब को पढ़ना शुरू किया तो लगा कि जैसे लेखक ने मेरे हाल ही में हुए अनुभव के बारे में ही लिखा है और उस वक्त मुझे वही अहसास फिर से हुआ। लेकिन इस बार जब मैंने उस अहसास को कसकर अपनी मुट्ठी में पकड़ना चाहा तो वो झटसे रेत की तरह मेरी अंगुलियां के बीच से निकल गिरा।
कुछ महीनों बाद जब मैं अपनी असली दुनिया अमरीका लौटने की तैयारी कर रहा था तब मैंने सोचा, " अब तो मुझे ज़िन्दगी की कुछ ज़रूरी असलियतों का ज्ञान हो गया है तो शायद ज़िंदगी पहले से कुछ आसान हो जाएगी, एकदम सीधी साधी। लेकिन मेरी ज़िंदगी तो पहले से भी ज़्यादा चुनौतीपूर्ण हो गई है। पर उस अनुभव ने मुझ जैसे ओक्लाहोमा निवासी संदर्न बैप्टिस्ट की ज़िन्दगी को हमेशा के लिए बदल दिया। फ़रवरी की उस सुबह ईश्वर की जो कृपा मुझ पर हुई उसके लिए मैं हर दिन ईश्वर का आभारी हूं, और साथ ही एक ऐसी अनुभूति का कि ये सुंदर अस्तित्व हर प्राणी में विद्यमान है चाहे उसका कोई रंग, रूप, वेश या भाषा क्यों न हो।
जबकि उस एकत्व के अनुभव के पीछे मैं ऐसा दौड़ता रहा जैसे डंडी पर लटक रही गाजर के पीछे गधा लार टपकाता हुआ भागता रहता है। लेकिन मैंने हौले हौले और काफ़ी कष्टप्रद तरीके से ये तो जान लिया है कि खुद को पूरी तरह से पहचान पाना और तुम और तुम्हारे आस-पास की दुनिया जैसी है उसे वैसे ही स्वीकार कर पानेपर ही उस खूबसूरत अनुभव का अहसास हर पल हमारे साथ रह सकता है। यही वो अनुभूति है जो इस स्वज्ञान की कठिन और दुखदायी राह को भी सुखमयी बना देती है।
- यूजीन हिल्डरब्रैन्ट
SEED QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION: What do you make of the author's likening a seeker's seeking of oneness to a donkey chasing a carrot on a stick? How does your own seeking feel to you? Can you share a personal experience when you completely accepted this "wonderfully terrible world just as it is"?
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12 Past Reflections
On Aug 30, 2012 rajnikant wrote :
The Holistic Science of the Vitaraga Purusas would cause all duality to gradually dwindle and disappear. When one finds oneself reflected or projected in everyone and in every being, one would experience the world as innocent and instrumental, leaving no scope for any grievance or blame on anyone or on anything. This is an amazing, solacing and pacifying experience of 'ONENESS' with the entire world. Some simple experience that comes to my mind is that when you agree on a matter with either family members, friends, person you do not like, in the office and in business that creates oneness with the person. Now when some one tells you that you are stupid, no good, etc.. if your inner reaction is calm and quite thinking I am not stupid and the person is my echo of my past, then the vibration created are very positive and with that if you smile and move on with another topic with the same person, that would create oneness with that person and will immediately calm the atmosph... [View Full Comment]
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On Aug 29, 2012 Narendra wrote :
What do you make of the author's likening a seeker's seeking of oneness to a donkey chasing a carrot on a stick?….Experience of One ness is common when we are with nature and when it subdues our ego. It can also be non-repeatable experience of consciousness triggered by chance, near death accident, drugs or even mental disorder. To access this state at-will requires clearing the conscious and the subconscious mind- the unattainable carrot…………..
How does your own seeking feel to you?…..The very desire to look for the experience can be a deterrent. To ignore the search and tTo be in the present appears to be a better approach. This requires the ability to love the present moment, no matter what it is, at all times. This can happen only when both our conscious and the subconscious are clear. When this habit becomes spontaneous, hopefully before death, there will be the experience of oneness, if not it could be after death :) &... [View Full Comment]
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On Aug 28, 2012 david doane wrote :
The author's first experience of oneness happened. Who knows how or why. I think the analogy of trying to make it happen again is accurate for the author, but that's not how it happens. The experience of oneness happens by allowing it, being open to it, and realizing it. I don't seek it. Learning about my/our oneness with all that is, thinking about it, and listening to others that I respected refer to it and speak of their experience of oneness, helped awaken my awareness to the experience of oneness. I guess I oriented myself to the experience of oneness, but I didn't make it happen in a direct way. I don't accept this wonderfully terrible world just as it is any more than I accept my wonderfully terrible self. The world and I have serious faults, and I am more accepting of it and me, so I am moving in that direction, but I'm not there, I'm not accepting, and I doubt I'll ever get there. Mayb... [View Full Comment]
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On Aug 28, 2012 john wrote :
To Leslie Nazereth. Perhaps that feeling that you have read a work of fantasy might be tempered by having large calibre rounds go wizzing by your head so close that you could feel the heat? State of perception? With respect I would ask how did you miss the core element here? Read it less as an intellectual and more so as one who is lucky enough to have not experienced the horrors of war. Mr. Hilderbrandt's perception is born of that instant when clarity is revealed in such a way as to prevent one from ever returning to that other perception colored by our enculteration.
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On Aug 28, 2012 Syd wrote :
Your writing about your experience in Vietnam appears like moments of transparency. It appears you were penetrating life with brilliant clarity and you were not exerting your ego mind to understand it. I know for me chasing the carrot is my ego hanging onto the experiences and information, even stockpiling information for the next catastrophe. My problem is I identify with my ideas of the experience, which detaches me from the support of Being. In response to you, though, it seems your transparency, even now, is a knowing-ness and aware-ness of your True Nature. I say this because your compassion and open heart to love the world appears to be statements of no longer clinging to your ideas about how the world works. Now your openness and compassion appears to be your transparency and this is with deep serenity.
Welcome home Eugene! &nb... [View Full Comment]
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On Aug 28, 2012 Rajniikant wrote :
I do not believe the world to be "terrible" but definitely believe to be "wonderful" to get a chance for redemption. It is said "world is your own echo" and "what goes around comes around". With this understanding if you follow Adjust everywhere and what has happened is correct. With this one can feel oneness with every living beings. Once oneness is felt all the interactions are resolves amicably.
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On Aug 28, 2012 john davis wrote :
For those who have had the honor of knowing Mr. Hilderbrandt, I can only say that it has been a priviledge to call him a friend. His insight and gentle nature have been an inspiration to me and to many others who find this world a much less compassionate place than we would wish. I encourage Eugene to continue to write as he has a rare gift that is muchly needed. My hat is off to you Eugene and always will be.
John Davis
John Davis
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On Aug 28, 2012 Kinjal wrote :
Yes, I still find myself (often times) pursuing that experience and feel like I am just running around in circles and it's just my trail that I am chasing. But then some times, I stop trying to chase it and just live the life I am given and instead try to welcome the opportunities that life presents I live that experience. Both experiences bring about a new lesson and has its own joys.
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On Aug 28, 2012 Rod Templin wrote :
That Alan Watts book, "On the Taboo...." was my gift to my son as he went off to study at Cal Tech. Indeed it can shift one's perception in a most profound way.
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On Aug 28, 2012 Victor Martin wrote :
Oh, yes, I have known what Eugene wonderfully describes. During an encounter group in the 70s, I awakened to this awareness of full connectedness to everything. This amazingly lasted for a wonderful month and has changed me for life. I never thought of it like the donkey analogy but it does fit in a very positive way.
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On Aug 25, 2012 Leslie Nazareth wrote :
On Wednesdays it has been very helpful to read a piece with a clear message that anyone can connect with even when translated to local languages. However, sometimes I have felt the pieces have been complicated and ambiguous and therefore impossible to translate so I felt sorry for not having said something in advance. This time I would like to post a comment.
However powerful and real the experience may have been to the author, this reading just leaves one feeling like one has heard a story that could be a mere fantasy. This is perhaps because it has been separated from its context in a larger piece. The part that is included here does not properly set the stage for the final paragraph. It could therefore invite intellectual reverie about a state of perception rather than core thoughts about one's state of Being.
With gratitude and warm wishes to all who make this sharing possible,
However powerful and real the experience may have been to the author, this reading just leaves one feeling like one has heard a story that could be a mere fantasy. This is perhaps because it has been separated from its context in a larger piece. The part that is included here does not properly set the stage for the final paragraph. It could therefore invite intellectual reverie about a state of perception rather than core thoughts about one's state of Being.
With gratitude and warm wishes to all who make this sharing possible,
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On Aug 24, 2012 conrad P. Pritscher wrote :
My desire not to desire is a much like the author's likening a seekers seeking of oneness to a donkey chasing a carrot on a stick. I'm getting more comfortable with seeking yet I frequently think, as some wise person already said: "that which I am looking for is that which is looking." I don't think I have ever experienced completely accepting this "wonderfully terrible world just as it is." I still make a distinction between intellect, will, and the rest of me. I accept this oneness intellectually, and sometimes when I am compassionate to self and others I accept it more fully, but I have a difficult time experiencing total acceptance of anything. Thanks for the opportunity to respond. Warm and kind regards to everyone.