The Opponent Relationship Is Not A Contest
विरोधी रिश्ता कोई प्रतियोगिता नहीं हैशैनन ली के द्वारा
आखिर लड़ाई अगर एक गहन रिश्ता नहीं है तो क्या है? आपका प्रतिद्वंद्वी न केवल आपके द्वारा किये गए प्रत्येक हमले को रोकने का प्रयास करता है, परन्तु साथ-साथ अपने स्वयं के हमले भी करता है, जो वह आपसे मिलने वाले संकेतों के प्रत्युत्तर में करता है। वह आपकी ऊर्जा, आपकी प्रतिक्रिया समय को भी महसूस करेगा, क्या आप आत्मविश्वास से भरे हैं या अनिश्चित हैं, क्या आप अनुभव के साथ आगे बढ़ते हैं, क्या आप उससे नज़र मिलाते है, आपके कोई दुहराने वाले हमले हैं, आदि। और जब वह आपसे संबंधित है, तो वह खुद को भी इस तरह समायोजित कर रहा है। वह अपनी रणनीति, अपनी तकनीक, अपने दृष्टिकोण को समायोजित कर रहा है। यदि आप हमला करते हैं, तो उसे यह आंकलन करना होगा कि आपने उसकी मोर्चाबन्दी को कैसे भेदा और कैसे वह आपकी मोर्चाबन्दी को भेद सकता है। यह एक नृत्य है। यह एक रिश्ता है।
क्या यह परिचित लगता है? लगना ही चाहिए, क्योंकि हम हर दिन एक दूसरे का पुनर्मूल्यांकन कर रहे हैं, ऊर्जा को महसूस कर रहे हैं और तदनुसार स्वयं को समायोजित कर रहे हैं। आप एक दोस्त के साथ लंच के लिए बेहद उत्साहित दिखाई देते हैं, लेकिन जब आप पहुंचते हैं, तो आप उन्हें सपाट और उदास पाते हैं। यदि आप जागरूक हैं, तो आप शायद अपने उत्साह को थोड़ा सा छुपा सकते हैं। हो सकता है कि आप पूछें कि क्या हुआ है या आप उन्हें हंसाने की कोशिश करते हैं, लेकिन आप जो महसूस कर रहे हैं उसके आधार पर आप जो प्राप्त कर रहे हैं उसके हिसाब से जवाब देते हैं। यहां तक कि जब हम एक बिलकुल अजनबी के साथ बातचीत करते हैं, जैसे कि किसी स्टोर में कैशियर या एक डाकिया, हम देखते हैं कि कोई असभ्य या मधुर है और हम बदले में एक आंतरिक झुंझलाहट या एक दोस्ताना मुस्कान के साथ प्रतिक्रिया करते हैं। हम हर समय एक रिश्ते में रहते हैं, और हमारे रिश्ते हमारी अपनी आंतरिक दुनिया का प्रतिबिंब होते हैं।
सीखने और बढ़ने के लिए आपको रिश्तों की जरूरत होती है। आपको अपने खेल के स्तर को बढ़ाने के लिए एक प्रतियोगी साथी की आवश्यकता है। सीधे शब्दों में कहें तो किसी भी समय आपके सामने खड़े व्यक्ति से बेहतर कोई नहीं है जो आपको खुद को और अधिक स्पष्ट रूप से देखने में मदद करे। कोई जो वहां है, वे इसे जानते हैं या नहीं और आप इसे जानते हैं या नहीं, आपको यह दिखाने के लिए कि दर्द के बिंदु कहां हैं, आपको यह दिखाने के लिए कि कैसे बेहतर होना है और कैसे अपने प्रकाश को अधिक उज्ज्वल रूप से चमकाना है. क्योंकि आप हर समय आपके वातावरण की प्रतिक्रिया हैं, आपका वातावरण आपका प्रतिबिंब बन जाता है। तो आप अपने बारे में क्या सीख सकते हैं? आप अपने स्वयं के अज्ञान का कारण कहां खोज सकते हैं? आप इससे बेहतर कैसे बन सकते हैं? लेकिन जागरूक रहें: आप बेहतर बनना चाहते हैं, किसी और से बेहतर नहीं! विरोधी संबंध कोई प्रतियोगिता नहीं है।
-------------------------------------------------
मनन के लिए प्रश्न: आप एक गहन संबंध के रूप में युद्ध की धारणा से कैसे सम्बद्ध हैं, जहां 'आप बेहतर बनना चाहते हैं, किसी और से बेहतर नहीं'? क्या आप कोई व्यक्तिगत कहानी साझा कर सकते हैं जब आपके सामने खड़े व्यक्ति ने आपको स्वयं को अधिक स्पष्ट रूप से देखने में मदद की? हर रिश्ते के माध्यम से बढ़ने के लिए खुले रहने में क्या आपकी मदद करता है?
-------------------------------------------------
In her book, "Be Water, My Friend."
SEED QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION: How do you relate to the notion of combat as an intense relationship where 'you want to become better, not better than'? Can you share a personal story of a time that the person standing before you helped you see yourself more clearly? What helps you stay open to growing through every relationship?
Add Your Reflection
15 Past Reflections
On Aug 14, 2022 Sergio wrote :
Excellent items from you, man. I have take note your stuff previous
to and you're just too great. I actually like what you have got
right here, certainly like what you're saying and the best way during which you are saying it.
You're making it entertaining and you still care for to stay it
sensible. I cant wait to read much more from you. That
is actually a great web site.
Our company mainly engaged in a variety of 3C products, including bluetooth headset,
Bluetooth audio, smart watch, smart lamp
Volkswagen Headlight
to and you're just too great. I actually like what you have got
right here, certainly like what you're saying and the best way during which you are saying it.
You're making it entertaining and you still care for to stay it
sensible. I cant wait to read much more from you. That
is actually a great web site.
Our company mainly engaged in a variety of 3C products, including bluetooth headset,
Bluetooth audio, smart watch, smart lamp
Volkswagen Headlight
Post Your Reply
On Aug 13, 2022 Arlette wrote :
I always spent my half an hour to read this weblog's articles or
reviews daily along with a mug of coffee.
pink acrylic nails
reviews daily along with a mug of coffee.
pink acrylic nails
Post Your Reply
On Aug 10, 2022 Deanne wrote :
Bouncy Castle Rental
22 Sin Ming Lane, #06-76 Midview City
Singapore 573969
097575625
inflatable house rental singapore
22 Sin Ming Lane, #06-76 Midview City
Singapore 573969
097575625
inflatable house rental singapore
Post Your Reply
On Aug 9, 2022 Jagdish P. Dave wrote :
We all need relationships to learn and grow. According to my understanding, there are two kinds of relationship: intrapersonal and interpersonal. How do I cultivate my realationship with me and my reationship with others? I mindfully attend to my inner world of thoughts, feelings and emotions and examine them with an open mind which helps me to arise and lift me up and what brings me down. In that way I face myself and learn from myself. The same way I keep my mind and heart open to receive feedback from others. This is the way I learn and grow.
When I was participating in an encounter group, I learned about what blocks me from expanding my consciousness. There have been times I when I am blind to my inner world and actions. In the encounter group I saw my own blindness and that helped me to see the light.
Open mindedness has been very helpful to me. Awareness what is happening in my mind and heart also helps me. I know this is an ongoing
process and that helps me continue grow... [View Full Comment]
1 reply: Patricia | Post Your Reply
On Aug 9, 2022 Pius wrote :
The most powerful revenge is fruitfulness in one's own life, fruitfulness in love, compassion, empathy, forgiveness, and generosity.
Post Your Reply
On Aug 9, 2022 Ted T wrote :
The framework of combat (like competition) by definition introduces the principle of "better than"; the measure of success (or not) over another is integral, and our western culture encourages this. Structured combat (and practice for it) is a traditional tool used in the east for developing awareness, but for both eaast and west it seems all too easy for egoic identity to become attached (or even identified) with an adversarial approach to all relationships (which the author does warn of). Human interactions in a spirit of cooperation seem a better fit than those of combat to me...
1 reply: David | Post Your Reply
On Aug 8, 2022 Fatima wrote :
There is a young boy who was a gardener at home....this boy was so stubborn so immune to advise that he annoyed me every time I talked to him....until a time I realized that this young man was mirroring the a pain body in me that he was fueling each time there was a confrontation...he only did things that increased my anger....until I realized it was all about me not him...he had his own traumatic wounds and they were similar to my own childhood wounds (traumas).
Post Your Reply
On Aug 7, 2022 Shyam wrote :
"We are in relationship all the time, and our relationships are a reflection of our own inner world. ". To learn and to grow, you need relationships. " So aptly said.
Where we falter is when our ego starts telling us you are better than XYZ. You deserve to be treated better. We start viewing the relationship as a combat and start devising ways to prove we are better . We even manipulate just to show ourselves in "better than "ways.
The very relationships which were meant to give us joy , starts giving us stress and result in a never ending struggle.
Where we falter is when our ego starts telling us you are better than XYZ. You deserve to be treated better. We start viewing the relationship as a combat and start devising ways to prove we are better . We even manipulate just to show ourselves in "better than "ways.
The very relationships which were meant to give us joy , starts giving us stress and result in a never ending struggle.
Post Your Reply
On Aug 5, 2022 David Doane wrote :
Relationship and combat are not synonymous. Combat is a specific kind of intense relationship. Combat is fighting. Combat is a battle. I agree that we learn and grow in relationship. In combat, the big picture may sometimes be to become better, but the immediate want of the parties involved is to beat on each other and try to beat each other which may result in learning and growing but likely results in destruction and death. I'm all for relationship and encounter; I'm not for combat and beating. Relating to and encountering the person standing before me typically helps me see myself more clearly -- that's not combat. What helps me stay open to growing through relationship is experience, that is, knowing from experience that I've grown through relationship, and valuing opportunities to grow. Relating to the other and not to expectations or prejudices or some underlying agenda helps me stay open to growing.
Post Your Reply
On Aug 5, 2022 Kristin Pedemonti wrote :
I would like to make a small adaptation away from the combat metaphor, to simply 'relationship' is where 'you want to become better, not better than.'
1 reply: Susan | Post Your Reply
On Aug 5, 2022 susan schaller wrote :
I studied and practiced tai chi, which also includes something called "push hands." The focus is listening - with your body, your all, to feel them and their energy. The obvious and immediate insight is that one cannot do that without listening to the same thing within. We cannot know ourselves without others. Opponents are mirrors.