Parker Palmer from The Courage to Teach.
SEED QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION: What does having "soft eyes" mean to you? Can you share a personal experience of a time you countered visual narrowing by widening your periphery? What helps you develop soft eyes?
Thank you indeed for this great insight. I teach " soft eyes" as part of an advanced reading course.
www.midbrain-activation.com.
how hard to see the people around us with suffering: then, softening our gaze, we might 'get' what is going on, for them, and then see our own version of pain.....and let it shift away -- shenpa breathing......and come to just this tiny moment....lots, but enough. yes?
I really like this post, thank you! Part of the practice of zazen meditation is "unfocused focus" - you might call it paying relaxed attention to nothing in particular. Couple this with the zen koan, "The great way is not difficult if you just don't pick and choose" and it seems that the wide, focused/unfocused view of zen in which one doesn't label things as good or bad, beautiful or ugly so that one doesn't immediately react to a situation in an unconscious manner...is pretty much soft eyes. Biologically, this is difficult, given that we have amygdalas that react before we think, but meditation practices have shown that people really can override these older inheritances.
Being able to see things differently each day, is sometime I strive to do as I sit in silent mediation. To wonder, imagine or discover are moments I treasure. I enjoy having the eyes of a small child whenI look at the world around me. With the simple mindset I feel refreshed and energized.
This brings to mind a concept from A Course In Miracles which states that nothing we see has any meaning other than what we assign to it. Soft eyes, to me, means to see without judgement.
Soft eyes to me is the love and compassion our heart can hold and that which is reflected in our eyes and revealed through our actions. Compassion in the heart can be seen in the eye..................Compassion towards our fellowmen, nature and all that is in it.........
Soft eyes to me means pausing then looking with love and compassion and kindness. <3 When someone has a different view than mine, I do my best to use this. Or when I see someone is hurting about something underneath their anger. It takes mindful effort, that moment of pause, pulling into love then responding. <3
What surfaced within as I read this beautiful post, is that I need to hold myself with love and compassion when I wish to have soft eyes, but respond with narrow eyes.
For me soft eyes means looking at objects and subjects with love. It is the smae feeling when you hold a baby and your eyes soften
approching a new challenge with the same old way and thought process will nevr help you combat the issue. It will over power you easily. The only way to come out of it is to widen one's perspective, experinces, learnings.
For me, having soft eyes means being open to hopefully see what is, not just see my thinking or prejudices or expectations or preconceived judgments. Having soft eyes means being open and welcoming, not closed and defensive. A personal example is that I went from narrow religous beliefs that I defended as a child to widening my spiritual periphery as I got older. I think I became open to truth wherever it was to be found. I opened my eyes and learned from various traditions and disciplines. What helps me develop soft eyes is openness to learn, having an attitude of searching, openness to my mind changing and evolving rather than being rigidly set, and valuing the truth.