The Surrender Experiment
समर्पण प्रयोग--माइकल सिंगर (२९ जुलाई, २०१५)
ज़िंदगी शायद ही कभी वैसे चलती है जैसा हम चाहते हैं। लेकिन अगर हम रुक कर इस बारे में सोचें तो यह बात हमें ठीक से समझ आएगी। जीवन का विस्तार सर्व-व्यापक है, और यह बात कि जीवन की घटनाओं पर हमार ज़ोर नहीं है, यह तथ्य अपने आप ही स्पष्ट होना चाहिए। यह ब्रह्माण्ड 13.8 अरब वर्षों से चल रहा है, और जो प्रक्रियाएं हमारे आस-पास के जीवन के प्रवाह को नियत करती हैं, वो तब शुरू नहीं हुईं थीं जब हमारा जन्म हुआ था, न ही वो हमारी मृत्यु के समय ख़त्म हो जाएंगी। किसी भी पल जो कुछ हमारी आँखों के सामने दिखाई देता है, वह वास्तव में बहुत अद्भुत है - यह अरबों वर्षों से एक दूसरे से काम करती विभिन्न शक्तियों का परिणाम है। जो हमारे सामने प्रकट हो रहा है, हम उसके छोटे से छोटे भाग के लिए भी ज़िम्मेवार नहीं हैं। उसके बावजूद, हम लगातार अपने जीवन में जो होगा, उसे नियंत्रित और निर्धारित करने में लगे रहते हैं। इसमें कोई हैरानी नहीं है कि दुनिया में इतना तनाव, चिंता और भय है। हममें से हर एक असल में यह सोचता है कि हर चीज़ को सृजन की सभी शक्तियों का सहज परिणाम होने की बजाए वैसा होना चाहिए जैसा हम चाहते है।
हर दिन, हम अपने सामने उभरती सच्चाई को भूलकर अपने मन के विचारों को ज़्यादा तूल देते हैं। हम नियमित रूप से ऐसी बातें कहते हैं, जैसे, "बेहतर होगा कि आज बारिश न आए क्योंकि मैं कैंपिंग के लिए जा रहा हूँ", या "बेहतर होगा कि मेरे वेतन में वृद्धि हो जाए क्योंकि मुझे इस पैसे की सख्त ज़रूरत है।" ध्यान दो कि क्या होना चाहिए या नहीं होना चाहिए, ये बड़ी-बड़ी बातें किसी वैज्ञानिक प्रमाण पर आधारित नहीं हैं; ये असल में पूरी तरह से हमारे मन में बनी व्यक्तिगत धारणाओं पर आधारित हैं। इस बात को बिना समझे, हम अपने जीवन में हर चीज़ के साथ ऐसा करते हैं - जैसे कि हम सच में विश्वास करते हैं कि हमारे आसपास की दुनिया हमारी अपनी पसंद और नापसंद के अनुसार चलनी चाहिए। अगर वो ऐसे नहीं चलती, तो ज़रूर इसमें कुछ गलत बात है। यह जीने का अत्यंत कठिन तरीका है, और यही कारण है कि हम ऐसा महसूस करते हैं कि हम हमेशा अपने जीवन से जूझ रहे हैं।
साथ ही यह भी सच है कि हम अपने आसपास होती हुई घटनाओं के सामने शक्तिहीन नहीं हैं। हमें आत्मबल की शक्ति मिली है। अपने अंदर की गहराई से हम यह निश्चित कर सकते हैं कि हम किसी चीज़ को कैसा देखना चाहते हैं और बाहर की दुनिया को इसके उनुसार चलाने के प्रयत्न में हम उस पर अपने दिल, दिमाग और शरीर की ताकत को लगा सकते हैं। लेकिन इससे जो हम चाहते हैं और जिस तरीके से हमारे हस्तक्षेप के बिना दुनिया होगी, इन दोनों के बीच निरंतर विरोध बना रहता है। व्यक्तिगत इच्छा और हमारे आस-पास उभरती ज़िंदगी की सच्चाई के बीच होने वाली यह लड़ाई हमारे जीवन पर हावी हो जाती है। जब हम इस लड़ाई में जीत जाते हैं, तो हम खुश और अच्छा महसूस करते हैं; और जब हम नहीं जीतते तो हम परेशान और दुखी हो जाते हैं। क्योंकि हममे से ज़्यादातर लोग तभी खुश होते हैं जब चीज़ें हमारी इच्छा के अनुसार चल रही होती हैं, इसलिए हम लगातार अपने जीवन में हर चीज़ को नियंत्रित करने का प्रयास करते रहते हैं।
सवाल यह है कि क्या ऐसा ही होना ज़रूरी है? ऐसा बहुत से सबूत मौजूद हैं कि जीवन अपने आप भी बहुत अच्छी तरह से चल सकता है। ग्रह अपने कक्षों में चलते हैं, नन्हें बीज विशाल पेड़ बन जाते हैं, लाखों वर्षों से मौसम की नियमतता से पूरी दुनिया के जंगलों को पानी मिलता रहा है, और एक अकेली निषेचित कोशिका बढ़कर एक खूबसूरत बच्चा बन जाता है। हम इन सब में से कुछ भी समझ-बुझ कर नहीं कर रहे हैं, ये सब तो हमारी समझ से बाहर, जीवन की सम्पूर्णता के द्वारा किया जा रहा है। ये सब अद्भुत घटनायें, और बहुत सी और घटनाएं, लाखों वर्षों से मौजूद जीवन की शक्ति के कारण हो रही हैं - जीवन की वही शक्तियां जिनके खिलाफ हम रोज़ाना जानबूझ कर अपने आत्मबल को भिड़ा रहे हैं। अगर जीवन की प्रक्रिया प्राकृतिक रूप से इस पूरे ब्रह्माण्ड को पैदा कर सकती है और उसको ज़िंदा रख सकती है, तो क्या हमारा यह सोचना ठीक है कि जब तक हम किसी चीज़ को होने पर मज़बूर नहीं करेंगे तब तक कुछ अच्छा नहीं होगा? कोई बेहतर नाम न मिलने की वजह से, मैंने इसे “समर्पण प्रयोग” का नाम दिया है।
विचार के लिए कुछ मूल प्रश्न: आप “समर्पण प्रयोग” से क्या समझते हैं? क्या आप अपना कोई व्यक्तिगत अनुभव बाँटना चाहेंगे जहाँ आपने अपने वातावरण को नियंत्रित करने की बजाए चेतन भाव से समर्पण करने की सोची हो? ऐसी कौनसी साधना है जो आपको जीवन की प्राकृतिक शक्तियों की ओर जागरूकता बढ़ाने में और उनके अनुरूप बन जाने में मदद करती है?
माइकल सिंगर “निर्बाधित आत्मा” (अंटैदर्ड सोल) के लेखक हैं और ऊपरी अंश उनकी आगामी पुस्तक, “समर्पण प्रयोग” से लिया गया है।
Michael Singer is the author of Unthered Soul and above excerpt is from his upcoming book, The Surrender Experiment.
SEED QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION: What does the "surrender experiment" mean to you? Can you share a personal experience of a time you consciously decided to surrender instead of trying to control your environment? What practice helps you develop awareness of the natural forces of life and harmonize with it?
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34 Past Reflections
On Mar 15, 2023 khanna johnston wrote :
So easy to say, but so hard to do, to actually do.
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On Mar 14, 2023 sally mahe wrote :
Surrender as a option is usually present subliminally in my thoughts. However, when things don't go as I want, feelings come up - frustration, disappointment, fear, etc. Rationally, the writer makes a great point, universe gets along quite well on its own. As we contribute our part, "knowing" this truth is helpful. And, we need to deal with a mix of feelings that coincide with how "life" is
going for us.
Recognizing change as a constant in nature is one helpful practice. I could say, "oh how natural for this thing that I thought would give me security for a long time is changing..."that's just like nature." Surrender sounds good. To me, it brings with the challenge of managing feelings. Surrender is a deep spiritual practice.
going for us.
Recognizing change as a constant in nature is one helpful practice. I could say, "oh how natural for this thing that I thought would give me security for a long time is changing..."that's just like nature." Surrender sounds good. To me, it brings with the challenge of managing feelings. Surrender is a deep spiritual practice.
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On Mar 11, 2023 Paul Fillinger wrote :
My daughter and I were caught in one of those "life and death struggles: She wanted to go out with friends; I wanted her to stay home and do family things. Things were intractable until I remembered about "letting go", it didn't have to be a war between my way or your way. I tried it and the war was over. We both accepted the "what is" and went on to have a nice family evening.
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On Mar 11, 2023 Mercedes wrote :
It takes me to the miracle I keep seeing any time I stop and think of our body's amazing abilities; such perfection! Like the eye's capacity to focus in such amazing timings whether it is a magestic tree or the minute plant flea!~ Being able to capture that which in a camera takes (now a days) mili seconds to do so!
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On Mar 10, 2023 Michael Maxwell Steer wrote :
This is an important reminder. From being very lost, I found meaning and became a goal-driven person (never extremely) but then having achieved my goals—to be a commercially successful composer—I realised there was a deeper musical reality that I could never reach by will or intellect, and so eventually I found the courage, with the aid of Sai Baba (to say nothing of the support of my wife), to leave that world; and enter the wilderness. For a good number of years I let myself be led by circumstance; but then, slowly, once again I found newer deeper meaning, and a musical language to express them. Since then I have been much clearer about soft goals. So I feel midway between both worlds; and it's a happy place. A lot of the time!
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On Aug 31, 2022 Baxter Smith wrote :
Ive found myself in this position noticeably several times in life, where I think Im suppose to do something, or that something should go a certain way, but when it comes down to it, that result doesnt happen and I find myself disappointed. Since I had set expectations for an event outside of my control, I had set myself to feel this way. Not setting expectations is how I see the surrender experiment, in that you live in the moment, give into whats going on around you, and can let yourself be surprised with what ever the result is. For me, one time in particular was working with a group traveling to another country. Each traveler needed a visa and it was coming close to the travel date and we still didnt have the visas. I began to stress out, what will I do? What should I do? But then my mentality shifted, and I started to ask myself, what role do I play in this? I have no control over government paper work or visa processes, and therefore have no influence over the outcome. I surrende... [View Full Comment]
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On Aug 31, 2022 Baxter Smith wrote :
Ive found myself in this position noticeably several times in life, where I think Im suppose to do something, or that something should go a certain way, but when it comes down to it, that result doesnt happen and I find myself disappointed. Since I had set expectations for an event outside of my control, I had set myself to feel this way. Not setting expectations is how I see the surrender experiment, in that you live in the moment, give into whats going on around you, and can let yourself be surprised with what ever the result is. For me, one time in particular was working with a group traveling to another country. Each traveler needed a visa and it was coming close to the travel date and we still didnt have the visas. I began to stress out, what will I do? What should I do? But then my mentality shifted, and I started to ask myself, what role do I play in this? I have no control over government paper work or visa processes, and therefore have no influence over the outcome. I surrende... [View Full Comment]
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On Aug 12, 2022 Emilie wrote :
maybe that fixation on control and the stress and tension that come with that has to do with a very commom metaphor that believes that the world is kie a machine. that we can fix and assemble the parts to make the machine work better. I work hard, study and practice to clean that ideia from my subjectivity. and my feeling is that as far I get from it more I can see, fell and relate to life the way things really are, not as a machine but as an interconnected whole.
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On Oct 1, 2021 David Durovy wrote :
So, me vs. 13.5 billion years of evolution. I wonder who wins? Seriously?
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On Aug 25, 2021 Kerrbear wrote :
I've been living a surrender experiment of my own since 2015, which coincidentally is when this book was published, though I've only discovered it now in 2021.
In November of 2015, in a drastic gesture following a moment of satori, I quit my cushy job, gave away all my possessions, gave up my apartment in San Francisco, and hit the road on my motorcycle. My mission was to "go where the road takes me". I set out to face my fears and to let love lead the way. And I ended up in a very difficult position with seemingly no way to love myself out of the corner.
This is a long story for another time. Suffice it to say, the surrender experiment is the deep end. It starts easy and gets harder until it's easy again. I've now embarked on the second experiment in the series. This time there's a baby involved. Breathing is the most effective practice for enjoying these pursuits.
In November of 2015, in a drastic gesture following a moment of satori, I quit my cushy job, gave away all my possessions, gave up my apartment in San Francisco, and hit the road on my motorcycle. My mission was to "go where the road takes me". I set out to face my fears and to let love lead the way. And I ended up in a very difficult position with seemingly no way to love myself out of the corner.
This is a long story for another time. Suffice it to say, the surrender experiment is the deep end. It starts easy and gets harder until it's easy again. I've now embarked on the second experiment in the series. This time there's a baby involved. Breathing is the most effective practice for enjoying these pursuits.
1 reply: David | Post Your Reply
On Aug 25, 2021 Annie McIntosh wrote :
The surrender experiment article made me think of how egocentric we can be as a whole at times! Maybe even more so disconnected from the web of life and maybe even more heartbreaking, is the lack of trust within the strategy of controlling. It takes a certain amount of trust to let go and accept. I keep reminding myself of my place in the universe. It feels better to surrender to forces
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On Feb 6, 2021 Ruchi wrote :
I started off reading this with the mindset of someone wanting to be in control of how my life unfolds. By the end of this, I just felt so humbled.
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On Oct 13, 2020 Fatmah wrote :
To me this speaks of no interference as a powerful force in the universe!
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On Sep 30, 2020 Alexandra wrote :
I have done it with my children - just saying yes to whatever they wanted during the day - realizing that nothing terrible has to come out of that, but that we are sharing amazing moments of interaction.
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On Jul 1, 2020 Rajalakshmi Sriram wrote :
wonderful article and wonderful questions: I wish to delve deper before i can answer!
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On Mar 10, 2016 LetGo wrote :
God I feel broken inside
I can't manage my life
Its too much for me
I am hurt
I am in pain
I am confused
My insides are crying
My outsides wont let me
I need you god
I want to hand over all that is broken to you
But I dont know if I have the strength to
You feel distant
But something tells me you are the closest right now
I want to trust that
I dont have the strength to do it
You will have to do it for me
I want to give up control dear god
Give me strength to do so
Give me the faith to do so
Give me belief in your love for me
For I can only see whats in front of me
Right now even that is blurred
Hold me dear god
Hug me
For I have no power to hug you back
... [View Full Comment]
1 reply: Jim | Post Your Reply
On Nov 9, 2015 Stacey wrote :
Any practice that can take me out of my critical thinking, analytical, quantitative, judging, competing, status seeking, language mind for awhile and bring me back to what keeps me open, small in the greater scheme of life, and most joy. Connections, focus/flow, nature, yoga, laughter, awe and wonder, unintentional movement, sharing of a good meal with loved ones, engagement, sniff, touch, feel, balance, dive, splash, play, or just sit without outcome and observe without time keeping, naming, agenda making, etc. Whatever I can participate in that allows the mind not to harden me heartless, cold, and helpless whenever I can and see what I can do.
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On Sep 9, 2015 Patrick wrote :
Lovely to ponder on this a while and to see what comes to me from within... God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference!
I used to walk with the weight of the world upon my shoulders and there are daays still when it tries to bear me down :-) but we live and learn to let go. Have a wonder filled day. P
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On Jul 31, 2015 Anu Thareja wrote :
We should try to do our part and do the action in the hope of getting the results we want to see. However, we should be prepared that the outcome may not turn out to be exactly how we want it to be. As it is stated in Gita " Karmanye Vadhikaraste, Ma Faleshu Kadachana". We have control over our action but we may not have control over the out come since there are other forces in the nature that might be at play here. If we want to grow an apple tree in a specific spot in our backyard, hoping that it will grow on it's own may never work. There might be a remote possibility that some bird or animal may drop the apple seed in the very spot and the tree may grow on it's own, but the probability of that happening is next to impossible. On the other hand, if we take the action and plant the tree, we do significantly improve the chances of the tree establishing and flourishing where we planted it. Although, there is no guarantee since the plant may die from some dise... [View Full Comment]
1 reply: Rajalakshmi | Post Your Reply
On Jul 28, 2015 Bijay wrote :
The entire universe and all the physical entities and events occurring in it in space and time involving matter and energy as perceived by the senses of a human being plus all the abstract entities involving emotions, thoughts, desires, conclusions, and concepts etc. occurring in his or her mind can be summed up and labeled as "Oneness." The true nature of this "Oneness" is unknowable (I believe) whether you are a so called "enlightened" person or not. As such, who is there to surrender and to whom? It s hard for me to grasp the idea behind "surrender experiment."
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On Jul 28, 2015 Jeanne wrote :
I can tell there is wisdom in this, and yet I wonder if without careful application, it can turn into a sort of passivity about real human problems like racism and climate change. But being an activist driven by desperation and fear is not effective in the long-term, either. There is much to ponder here.
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On Jul 28, 2015 Maria Russell wrote :
To some, the word 'surrender' implies weakness, but actually it's quite freeing. For many years I could not accept my alcoholism; I had a successful business, many friends, and a very supportive family. And yet, I was miserable. Until I could accept my disease, it was as if I was a square peg trying desperately to fit into a round hole. The more I tried drinking like a regular person, the more I sank into despair. Indeed, alcohol is s "cunning, baffling and powerful." So when I finally hit my bottom, there was nothing I could do but surrender. When I finally accepted the fact that I had a disease for which there is no cure--but for which there is a solution--a peaceful liberation settled over me. Surrender/acceptance has changed my life for the better. The world does not revolve around me (thank goodness!)
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On Jul 28, 2015 Sanjay wrote :
When life is going my way it is relatively easy , but when things are not going my way if someone I love is in pain it is very very difficult to just surrender . It is difficult to see their pain , memories of good times come back and there is so much pain , life stops , one cannot enjoy anything anymore , nothing seems to be worth it , there is sadness , there is pain felt in the chest , everything is heavy , there is so much suffering . If I could I would change things , I want to change things , I want to change the situation , I want to dissolve the pain , I want to run away , I want this to go , now . But there is no where to run , to hide . I am tired holding this pain , there is nothing more to do , I surrender , I am in a corner , I have hit the wall , now I surrender . I no longer can lift this burden , but before that I have to burn , I have to burn in my pain , this burning burns away the remaining ego , completely , I am humbled , I am nothing left , only the ashes t... [View Full Comment]
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On Jul 25, 2015 david doane wrote :
I suppose all that is, all the unfolding and evolution of the cosmos, is a surrender experiment. The surrender experiment for me can be for me to put aside my trying to steer and control, put aside my goal directedness, let go of my agendas, surrender to what it is that I am experiencing, and see what happens. I've had interactions in which I say what I think, feel, and/or see without trying to control the outcome, and such interactions are more exciting and alive than when I try to control the outcome. What helps me develop awareness of the natural forces of life and harmonize with them is waking up, opening my eyes and seeing, letting go of my expectations and desires, learning to allow and work with what's happening rather than try to control. Dealing with my children helps me to learn to surrender and be responsive to where they're at and not try to impose my will and fight with them. Life is much too big to fight and try to control. I am ... [View Full Comment]
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On Jul 24, 2015 Victoria Fabling wrote :
Hi Michael, I liked your article. It is timely as I am putting the finishing touches on my book Speaking Universal which shows how to tune into the Universal mind before applying will, so that the Universe or person or plant can get ready to receive your conversation or plan to prune (or not:). Sometimes we sense a pulling energy from a person or a pet saying "tend to my needs, I am more important than you" and quite rightly, if you Speak Universal, you will say "no." If you would like me to send a couple of chapters, let me know. All the best, Victoria (Fabling) from the UK.
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On Jul 24, 2015 Smita wrote :
Over the last month or so, I've had interactions with some co-workers that have felt unpleasant to me. It's been triggered by the things they say, how they say them, and then my own reaction to it all. In the moments when these interactions were happening, I was finding myself more caught up in the reactivity than not. Then after I would go home for the day, go for a walk, get some fresh air -- I would see more clearly the reaction I was having to these situations.
One day, I considered that my reactivity may be tied to "things not going my way." This person said something I didn't want them to say, or used a tone that I didn't want them to use, or that person didn't do something the way I would have liked. So one day I walked into work and decided that when one of these triggering interactions came up again, I would simply acknowledge to myself, "things aren't going the way I want right now." And I would surrender to that. The day I tried thi... [View Full Comment]
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On Jul 24, 2015 Jagdish P Dave wrote :
To me, surrendering means surrendering my egoic mind, the mind that is self-centered, possessive, not caring for others that incudes nature-animals, plants, trees, water,earth and sky.I am responsible and accountable for messing things up and doing right to sustain and preserve the creation. How do I employ my energy in creating, sustaining, contributing and serving life is my life mission. When I live this way, I feel I am in harmony with life force. I feel like I am in a dance with the life force. When i receive the grace from nature and people, my heart is filled with joyful gratitude. Such gifts are not measured on a materialistic scale. They are experienced in our hearts and they blossom our hearts.
This may sound very simple. It is my knowing that too much "headding" takes away the simple joys of 'hearting". How to have the joyful innocence of a child in an adult body and mind is an interesting challenge. It is like planting a seed and watching it grow wi... [View Full Comment]