The Positivity Ratio
La proportion de positivité-- de Barbara Fredrickson
Imaginez que vous êtes un nénuphar. Il est encore tôt dans l’aurore et vos pétales sont refermées autour de votre visage. Si vous pouviez voir ne serait-ce qu’une chose, ce serait cette petite tâche du rayon de soleil naissant. Mais alors que le soleil se lève, les choses commencent à changer. Vos œillères autour de votre visage commencent à s’ouvrir et votre monde s’étend littéralement. Vous pouvez voir plus. Votre monde est plus grand.
Tout comme la chaleur des rayons de soleil ouvre les fleurs, la chaleur de la positivité ouvre nos esprits et nos cœurs. Cela change nos perspectives visuelles à un niveau vraiment élémentaire, ainsi que notre aptitude à voir notre humanité commune avec d’autres.
Nous affirmons cela car nous avons fait des études qui le montrent. […] Des chercheurs trouvent que lorsque vous déclenchez une émotion positive, les cerveaux des gens ne peuvent s’empêcher de relever le contexte, même lorsqu’on leur dit de l’ignorer. Lorsque les personnes rencontrent des émotions neutres ou négatives, ils ne voient pas du tout le contexte.
Cela suggère que lorsque les personnes rencontrent des émotions positives, ils ont une plus grande conscience – ce qui peut expliquer pourquoi les gens ont une meilleure mémoire pour les détails périphériques lorsqu’ils se remémorent des épisodes positifs. Les émotions positives nous aident littéralement à voir plus de possibilités.
Mais de combien de positivité avons-nous besoin dans nos vies pour moissonner tous ces bienfaits – combien serait assez ? Nos recherches ont conclu qu’une proportion d’au-moins trois-pour-un – trois émotions positives pour chaque émotion négative – est le point de bascule, qui détermine si vous languissez dans la vie, tout juste en tenant bon, ou si vous vous développez, vivant une vie pleine de possibilités, tout en étant remarquablement résilient aux temps plus difficiles.
Il est important de noter que ce ratio n’est pas de trois-pour-zéro. Il n’est pas question d’éliminer toutes les émotions négatives. Une partie de cette prescription garde à l’idée que les émotions négatives sont en réalité nécessaires.
Considérez la métaphore du voilier. Ce voilier est surmonté d’un grand mât, qui permet à la voile de prendre le vent et de donner au bateau un élan. Mais en-dessous du niveau de l’eau se trouve la quille, qui peut peser des tonnes. Vous pouvez voir le mât comme positivité et la quille du dessous comme négativité. Si vous naviguez, vous savez que, même si c’est le mât qui tient la voile, vous ne pouvez pas naviguer sans la quille. Le bateau dériverait et se renverserait. La négativité, la quille, est ce qui permet au bateau de rester dans la bonne voie et maîtrisable.
Une fois, lors de laquelle j’avais partagé cette métaphore à une audience, un monsieur dit : « Vous savez, le moment où la quille importe le plus est le moment où vous naviguez à contre-courant, lorsque vous vous retrouvez face à des difficultés. » Expérimenter et exprimer des émotions négatives fait vraiment partie du processus de développement, même – ou surtout – lors de temps difficiles, car elles nous aident à rester au contact de la réalité des difficultés auxquelles nous faisons face. […]
Un proverbe Soufi dit : Il n’existerait pas de contrefaçon liée à l’or si le véritable or n’existait pas quelque part. Ainsi, comment peut-on embrasser ces émotions positives, authentiques et venant du cœur sans essayer de saisir l’or contrefait ?
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Note de l’équipe Awakin : Merci à notre communauté, nous notons que la proportion de positivité a été sérieusement remise en question depuis. L’auteure a également retiré son soutien à cette théorie. Nous aurions du mieux vérifier celle-là. Cela dit, nous tirons un coup de chapeau à la formidable communauté de commentateurs qui ont apporté un équilibre harmonieux grâce à leur sagesse dans les commentaires ci-dessous.
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Questions pour faire germer la réflexion : Comment vous identifiez-vous dans le fait que les émotions négatives nous aident à « rester au contact de la réalité des difficultés auxquelles nous faisons face » ? Pouvez-vous partager une histoire personnelle dans laquelle une émotion positive a ouvert plus de contexte et de possibilités pour vous ? Qu’est-ce qui vous aide à embrasser ces émotions positives, authentiques et venant du cœur sans essayer de saisir l’or contrefait ?
Barbara Fredrickson is the Kenan Distinguished Professor at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill. She is also the author of Positivity. Excerpt above from this article.
SEED QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION: How do you relate to the notion that negative emotions help us 'stay in touch with the reality of the difficulties we're facing'? Can you share a personal story of a time positive emotions opened up more context and possibilities for you? What helps you tap into genuine, heartfelt positive emotions without grasping for the counterfeit gold?
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15 Past Reflections
On Jul 24, 2020 Usha Shetty wrote :
Everything comes with a purpose. Night we sleep because it is dark. Darkness implies dark times of our life where we spend sleeping, which also means it is meant to rest. Rest our body,and organs, relaxing & calming our mind and soul. It also indicates a transition period from darkness to light. In turn sunlight brings energy, hope and a dream of a good day ahead.
I personally believe, every difficulty in my life made me think better and develop stronger version of myself. If I would not have faced difficulty, I probably might not understand the pain one goes through, and I would have been insensitive to their agony. Now I feel alive to understand and resolve others problem. I totally feel connected and exactly feel the feeling one undergoes.
There was a time I was shunned and I did not speak, for not 4 weeks or 4 months but for almost 4 years. Faced countless emotional difficulties. But with every difficulty it evolved me, and if one does not loose hope, work hard towards the po... [View Full Comment]
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On Jul 7, 2020 Ambika wrote :
We have chosen to occupythis physical body- which is born and hence has to 'Die'. We have chosen to be in this world of polarity.
At a personal level, I am eternally grateful to the times I do not have a migraine headache because I have experienced one. i am able to empathize with those who get a head ache. What if I have never experienced one? All the so called negative states we go through- loss, pain, disease....makes us sensitive, appreciative and ever grateful. Without a sunset how could I eulogize a sunrise? Negative and positive together creates light. when we are light beings both need to co-exist. Each adds value to the other. fake gold is shunned because i know the luster of real gold.It is the fake gold that adds value to real Gold.
At a personal level, I am eternally grateful to the times I do not have a migraine headache because I have experienced one. i am able to empathize with those who get a head ache. What if I have never experienced one? All the so called negative states we go through- loss, pain, disease....makes us sensitive, appreciative and ever grateful. Without a sunset how could I eulogize a sunrise? Negative and positive together creates light. when we are light beings both need to co-exist. Each adds value to the other. fake gold is shunned because i know the luster of real gold.It is the fake gold that adds value to real Gold.
1 reply: Love | Post Your Reply
On Jul 7, 2020 Ava Rindal wrote :
I love Awakin Weekly. It helps me to feel calm in a crazy world. However, the "positivity ratio" has been thoroughly debunked, the math upon which it relies was taken out of context and based on numerous theoretical and factual errors. The author of this piece has recanted her support and admitted she didn't understand the math the author of the original theory used. In any case, I thought you should know.
1 reply: Aryae | Post Your Reply
On Jul 7, 2020 Deborah watson wrote :
A philosopher I listen to states, " When you know what you don't want, you know what you do want". Emotions, for me, are a great way to show me where I am on my spiritual path. Am I heading towards joy or am I heading towards fear? Then my power of choice comes in and my opportunity to pivot or not.
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On Jul 7, 2020 Soulwing wrote :
When upbringing and childhood is good and full of love, you have a reservoir and you continueto collect and create positivity. Be kind and share with those who may, not of their own choice, have had the same childhood and share extra love and kindness their way.
1 reply: Usha | Post Your Reply
On Jul 7, 2020 Ken Elkind wrote :
Positive things will happen in one's life, when they become of our purpose of Grooving. Be the One!www.groovism.org provides The One!
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On Jul 7, 2020 Emilia wrote :
Actually very negative experiences are often also registered in great detail. Even the moments just before. There have also been studies that showed that happier people are less vigilant/ critical than people having 'a bad day', which results in lower scores on things such as problem solving. Seems like a fair trade-off.
I do think that if you don't experience negative emotions you are skipping out on the experience of being alive, of having a finite body, of loosing loved ones. Grief is the counterbalance to love in a way.
I do think that if you don't experience negative emotions you are skipping out on the experience of being alive, of having a finite body, of loosing loved ones. Grief is the counterbalance to love in a way.
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On Jul 7, 2020 Rajni wrote :
Without darkness sun has no value however there is no reason to keep ourselves in darkness. We need sleep to rest and recharge our battery but our main goal is to work efficiently and wisely during awake time. Positive Thoughts yields to positive results. Negative thoughts help us keep us move positivity to higher level when we replace it with appropriate positive thought.
I have been trying to think positively for last 12 years. It has simplified my life very much. I used to forget many things now I get prompts from inner voice. I am thankful to the universe for all the positive experiences in my life sending timely help from other, many a time miraculously. I tell others to think positively with stories and my experiences.
I have been trying to think positively for last 12 years. It has simplified my life very much. I used to forget many things now I get prompts from inner voice. I am thankful to the universe for all the positive experiences in my life sending timely help from other, many a time miraculously. I tell others to think positively with stories and my experiences.
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On Jul 4, 2020 David Doane wrote :
When light increases and when blinders open, vision expands. Opening one's mind and heart, one sees differently. Context seen is undoubtedly affected by what one is feeling. Emotions called positive help us see different possibilities than emotions called negative. I think the keel is just as positive as the mast. I think staying on course is related to all the 'parts' including the keel and the mast. Emotions are related to the person one is and experiences one has. Emotions are in response to being in touch, and if experienced as negative or positive they may help us stay in touch. Feelings considered negative likely result in narrowed awareness and feelings considered positive more likely widen awareness. The negative and positive definitely provide contrast -- and without the one you wouldn't know there is the other. Feeling satisfaction has prompted me to investigate further, expand my knowledge, and focus my vision which has opened up more context, more possibilit... [View Full Comment]
1 reply: Amen | Post Your Reply
On Jul 3, 2020 Jagdish P Dave wrote :
I have learned from my personal experience that life is not a straight line. It has curves, twists and turns. I have experienced negative emotions such as fear, depression and anger. They are not easy to control. Such negative emotions have made my life difficult. There are two ways of dealing with such negative emotions: denial,suppression or rationalization. The other way is to recognize them, and work on them or get professional help.
Some time ago I went for one week long silent retreat. The first two days were
difficult for me. I am not used to remaining silent for more than a day. It was a new and difficult experience for me. I felt restless, agitated, and bored. I accepted my difficult emotions and difficult times. After two days it was easy for me to remain silent. In fact I enjoyed the presence of silence and saw the value and power of silence. I spent a good amount of time on introspection and also seeing the peaceful beauty of nature. Silence opened up new doors of percepti... [View Full Comment]