Life rarely unfolds exactly as we want it to. And if we stop and think about it, that makes perfect sense. The scope of life is universal, and the fact that we are not actually in control of life’s events should be self-evident. The Universe has been around for 13.8 billion years, and the processes that determine the flow of life around us did not begin when we were born, nor will they end when we die. What manifests in front of us at any given moment is actually something truly extraordinary—it is the end-result of all the forces that have been interacting together for billions of years. We are not responsible for even the tiniest fraction of what is manifesting around us. Nonetheless, we walk around constantly trying to control and determine what will happen in our lives. No wonder there’s so much tension, anxiety, and fear. Each of us actually believes that things should be the way we want them, instead of being the natural result of all the forces of creation.
Every day, we give precedence to our mind’s thoughts over the reality unfolding before us. We regularly say things like, “It better not rain today because I’m going camping” or “I better get that raise because I really need the money.” Notice that these bold claims about what should and shouldn’t be happening are not based on scientific evidence; they’re based solely on personal preferences made up in our minds. Without realizing it, we do this with everything in our lives—it's as though we actually believe that the world around us is supposed to manifest in accordance to our own likes and dislikes. If it doesn’t, surely something is very wrong. This is an extremely difficult way to live, and it is the reason we feel that we are always struggling with life.
Nonetheless, it is also true that we are not powerless in the face of the events unfolding around us. We have been gifted with the power of will. From deep inside, we can determine how we want something to be and apply the power of our minds, hearts, and bodies in an attempt to make the outside world conform. But this puts us in a constant battle of our way versus the way it would be without our intervention. This battle between individual will and the reality of life unfolding around us ends up consuming our lives. When we win this battle, we are happy and relaxed; when we don’t, we are disturbed and stressed. Since most of us only feel good when things are going our way, we are constantly attempting to control everything in our lives.
The question is, does it have to be this way? There is so much evidence that life does quite well on its own. The planets stay in orbit, tiny seeds grow into giant trees, weather patterns have kept forests across the globe watered for millions of years, and a single fertilized cell grows into a beautiful baby. We are not doing any of these things as conscious acts of will; they are all being done by the incomprehensible perfection of life itself. All these amazing events, and countless more, are being carried out by forces of life that have been around for billions of years—the very same forces of life that we are consciously pitting our will against on a daily basis. If the natural unfolding of the process of life can create and take care of the entire universe, is it really reasonable for us to assume that nothing good will happen unless we force it to? For lack of a better name, I have called this the Surrender Experiment.
Michael Singer is the author of Unthered Soul and above excerpt is from his upcoming book, The Surrender Experiment.
SEED QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION: What does the "surrender experiment" mean to you? Can you share a personal experience of a time you consciously decided to surrender instead of trying to control your environment? What practice helps you develop awareness of the natural forces of life and harmonize with it?
Any practice that can take me out of my critical thinking, analytical, quantitative, judging, competing, status seeking, language mind for awhile and bring me back to what keeps me open, small in the greater scheme of life, and most joy. Connections, focus/flow, nature, yoga, laughter, awe and wonder, unintentional movement, sharing of a good meal with loved ones, engagement, sniff, touch, feel, balance, dive, splash, play, or just sit without outcome and observe without time keeping, naming, agenda making, etc. Whatever I can participate in that allows the mind not to harden me heartless, cold, and helpless whenever I can and see what I can do.
Lovely to ponder on this a while and to see what comes to me from within... God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference!
I used to walk with the weight of the world upon my shoulders and there are daays still when it tries to bear me down :-) but we live and learn to let go. Have a wonder filled day. P
The entire universe and all the physical entities and events occurring in it in space and time involving matter and energy as perceived by the senses of a human being plus all the abstract entities involving emotions, thoughts, desires, conclusions, and concepts etc. occurring in his or her mind can be summed up and labeled as "Oneness." The true nature of this "Oneness" is unknowable (I believe) whether you are a so called "enlightened" person or not. As such, who is there to surrender and to whom? It s hard for me to grasp the idea behind "surrender experiment."
I can tell there is wisdom in this, and yet I wonder if without careful application, it can turn into a sort of passivity about real human problems like racism and climate change. But being an activist driven by desperation and fear is not effective in the long-term, either. There is much to ponder here.
To some, the word 'surrender' implies weakness, but actually it's quite freeing. For many years I could not accept my alcoholism; I had a successful business, many friends, and a very supportive family. And yet, I was miserable. Until I could accept my disease, it was as if I was a square peg trying desperately to fit into a round hole. The more I tried drinking like a regular person, the more I sank into despair. Indeed, alcohol is s "cunning, baffling and powerful." So when I finally hit my bottom, there was nothing I could do but surrender. When I finally accepted the fact that I had a disease for which there is no cure--but for which there is a solution--a peaceful liberation settled over me. Surrender/acceptance has changed my life for the better. The world does not revolve around me (thank goodness!)
Hi Michael, I liked your article. It is timely as I am putting the finishing touches on my book Speaking Universal which shows how to tune into the Universal mind before applying will, so that the Universe or person or plant can get ready to receive your conversation or plan to prune (or not:). Sometimes we sense a pulling energy from a person or a pet saying "tend to my needs, I am more important than you" and quite rightly, if you Speak Universal, you will say "no." If you would like me to send a couple of chapters, let me know. All the best, Victoria (Fabling) from the UK.