Maybe, Said the Farmer

Trusting there is another story, another purpose, and another path, is a choice. When we get out of our own way, the story, purpose and path may-be a wild adventure, lifesaving option, and lead us to our higher purpose.

Equanimity means not losing our calm and composure; it only comes with acceptance of both the person and the situation. Balancing between indifference and sentimentality requires cultivating emotional intelligence and mindfulness that could only be developed by being self aware and setting boundaries

My spouse and I recently bought one side of a renovated duplex. When we learned that the other side was purchased we assumed that owner would also occupy the home. When we learned that he had purchased the property to rent it out we were initially crestfallen and plunged for a day into full catastrophe thinking. Then in a flash of clarity I recalled the parable of the farmer and his horse. I shared it with my spouse and we decided to shift from resistance to acceptance. Whoever our neighbors will be and whatever they bring may be better than anything we can imagine. Even if what they bring is more opportunities for growth of equanimity.

Hmm this can be hard at times, and easy at other times. Overall however, I find that the ability to stay centered for me is deeply connected to how connected I feel to source, how often i am meditating, and how vibrant my life is.

Protect yourself from indifference and sentimentality by - having contentment, confidence, faith and belief

I was in a dyad where each person was instructed to talk about what was happening in them and to listen to the other and not give feedback. I was first to speak and I was explaining something about a difficult decision I had recently made . It was different from what my dyad partner would have done and in a loud voice he started telling me that I was threatening him and he didn't want me to say more. I was surprised at his response and asked him if he would like to share from his experience. He said 'no' and since we had 10 or 15 minutes before the end of our time together I asked if he would be able to sit quietly together. He agreed and I sat in a state of presence with him. We didn't share again but it seemed that he had relaxed during that time. It relaxed me and I was able to let the experience go.

Equanimity means to accept both the good and bad with mental calmness, composure and even temper.
Often when faced with a situation I am feeling strong emotions about I try to breathe and say nothing. I apply the hockey rule for parents, “ don’t say anything for 24 hours. Think about it, let the emotions boil over, then speak rationally about it.”
Being a teacher and seeing children in “unacceptable parenting “ homes often made me want to lose it. However, I knew that I could not lose it and become angry. There were many times I went home and cried or was worried about a child. Yet I could do nothing. Growing a “thick skin” was part of teaching for me.

Yin & Yang must be held together for us to experience true peace. }:- a.m.

So much Truth. The power within "Maybe". I am loving the word more after reading this. Life...is all about the unknown. The more we embrace the unknown the more we enjoy life. To resist change is to resist life.

Equanimity is for me the utmost refinement. In a time/culture that privileges individual expression, instantaneous gratification, and a consequent attitude of entitlement, the reality of rising above the surface to see the forest in its full topography is a privilege. As emotional waves come back and forth and the ego entertains intricate patterns of engagement, seeing clearly, moderately, and with equanimity represents a great challenge. I try to meditate and to be in touch with the deepest inner knowing of my Being each day to introduce a counterpoint to the naturally deceiving, seductive nature of our cultural context: As a person in the world, I am vulnerable to this seduction as much as (mostly) all people. As one who seeks balance, I compassionately invite myself to return to the original Oness of all times. I see this as one more paradox intrinsic to being human - a Being between worlds, experiencing a vast, transient field of possibilities.... [View Full Comment] Equanimity is for me the utmost refinement.

In a time/culture that privileges individual expression, instantaneous gratification, and a consequent attitude of entitlement, the reality of rising above the surface to see the forest in its full topography is a privilege.

As emotional waves come back and forth and the ego entertains intricate patterns of engagement, seeing clearly, moderately, and with equanimity represents a great challenge.

I try to meditate and to be in touch with the deepest inner knowing of my Being each day to introduce a counterpoint to the naturally deceiving, seductive nature of our cultural context: As a person in the world, I am vulnerable to this seduction as much as (mostly) all people. As one who seeks balance, I compassionately invite myself to return to the original Oness of all times.

I see this as one more paradox intrinsic to being human - a Being between worlds, experiencing a vast, transient field of possibilities.[Hide Full Comment]

My attempt to practice equanimity comes with practicing paying attention to the parts of me that are judging a situation or person and being aware of the part of me that is wanting so very much to react by saying or doing something impulsive. I often sense that I am trying to "protect" something. I inquire within about what I think I am protecting. Identity, ego, a belief? An example of staying in balance happened when the polarizing topic of Covid Vaccinations Vs No Vaccinations came up in a Zoom meeting with 7 of my girlfriends. I noticed how fast everyone needed their opinion to be heard. All of the same arguments arose as we see in the media. I listened in compassion without having to side or decide for or against holding duality. Now that I read the article of Scharmer's"Uncovering the Bind Spot of Leadership" I think I was using Generative Listening! There was a stillness and a flow that I experienced in that moment both of listening and sharing.... [View Full Comment] My attempt to practice equanimity comes with practicing paying attention to the parts of me that are judging a situation or person and being aware of the part of me that is wanting so very much to react by saying or doing something impulsive. I often sense that I am trying to "protect" something. I inquire within about what I think I am protecting. Identity, ego, a belief?

An example of staying in balance happened when the polarizing topic of Covid Vaccinations Vs No Vaccinations came up in a Zoom meeting with 7 of my girlfriends. I noticed how fast everyone needed their opinion to be heard. All of the same arguments arose as we see in the media. I listened in compassion without having to side or decide for or against holding duality. Now that I read the article of Scharmer's"Uncovering the Bind Spot of Leadership" I think I was using Generative Listening! There was a stillness and a flow that I experienced in that moment both of listening and sharing.[Hide Full Comment]

The farmer knew his mind was one with it's Creator/ God. A mind aware of this is unshaken by any person, place, event, circumstance. A mind who knows this Truth(Oneness) has no thoughts of judgment. I try to be aware of my every thought.I remember that in fact, I have a mind and I'm not a robot; slave to reaction. I have the power to choose what voice i want to follow: the separated little self, or the mind one with God. Every moment is an opportunity to choose,but if I have to site one: I was swamped at work with one interruption after another, and I felt I was approaching eruption. I went into the bathroom with my feelings and realized the only power i have is the power to choose how I was going to experience the situation. I chose peace , asked for help and it salvaged my day. How do I save myself from indifference and sentimentality? I know we're in this together. We are all trying to find our way. Love and Compassion for everyone...leaving no brother out.... [View Full Comment] The farmer knew his mind was one with it's Creator/ God. A mind aware of this is unshaken by any person, place, event, circumstance. A mind who knows this Truth(Oneness) has no thoughts of judgment.
I try to be aware of my every thought.I remember that in fact, I have a mind and I'm not a robot; slave to reaction. I have the power to choose what voice i want to follow: the separated little self, or the mind one with God.
Every moment is an opportunity to choose,but if I have to site one: I was swamped at work with one interruption after another, and I felt I was approaching eruption. I went into the bathroom with my feelings and realized the only power i have is the power to choose how I was going to experience the situation. I chose peace , asked for help and it salvaged my day.
How do I save myself from indifference and sentimentality? I know we're in this together. We are all trying to find our way. Love and Compassion for everyone...leaving no brother out.[Hide Full Comment]

I HEARD THIS TWICE TODAY. AMAZING. I SHARED WITH MY DAUGHTER.

I cried when I read this. Thank you

Thanks

Love this! It sums up a discussion in which I participated last night re: Everything has value.  

 Living a life free from specific expectation, judgment, and (mostly fear-based) survival instinct (for preserving both one's physical body and non-physical ego), what would it be like?   

 My son took a bad fall in Germany this past summer and ended up hospitalized for  a week; this brought our vacation to an abrupt end. He was very depressed for a couple of months and has had to give up his favorite sport. But, this has given him a chance to pursue singing and theater. I also remind him how lucky he is to be alive and how his accident could've sent a message about our plans to traverse the hundreds of miles of semi-dangerous (or so I've been told) roadways in Norway. Although we don't always (ever?) understand why things happen, they still happen and maybe even for a purpose. Looking for that "purpose" is often futile and leads nowhere. 

 This story is from  a Taoist Book, I think the Chuang Tshu.

 "How do we protect ourselves from indifference and sentimentality at the same time?" Can we explore and find out who is this OURSELVES?

 Life is not an addition of single event. Every action, every event is part of the whole. Trying  non to detach the single from the whole helps me to keep my balance

 When I practice equanimity, I live the awareness that you never know.  Something I think is good can turn out not good, and something I think is unfortunate can turn out to be good fortune.  Reminding myself that life is uncertainty helps me to stay calm when things aren't going the way I expect or think they should.  Also, practicing equanimity seems to be based on my staying in the present which helps me realize that change and surprise are always, and not trying to grasp hold of a specific outcome which sets me up for disappointment and aggravation.  As for personal experiences, I know I used to get bent out of shape more easily and frequently than happens nowadays.  I have become more accepting and less controlling, which makes for more equanimity, which pleases me.  We protect ourselves from indifference and sentimentality by being clear that equanimity doesn't mean to not care.  Equanimity is based on caring while knowing that change and ... [View Full Comment]

 When I practice equanimity, I live the awareness that you never know.  Something I think is good can turn out not good, and something I think is unfortunate can turn out to be good fortune.  Reminding myself that life is uncertainty helps me to stay calm when things aren't going the way I expect or think they should.  Also, practicing equanimity seems to be based on my staying in the present which helps me realize that change and surprise are always, and not trying to grasp hold of a specific outcome which sets me up for disappointment and aggravation.  As for personal experiences, I know I used to get bent out of shape more easily and frequently than happens nowadays.  I have become more accepting and less controlling, which makes for more equanimity, which pleases me.  We protect ourselves from indifference and sentimentality by being clear that equanimity doesn't mean to not care.  Equanimity is based on caring while knowing that change and surprise are constant and I have very little if any control.                 

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I've heard humility defined as, "Suspending judgment to allow what is, to arise."  How natural it is for the farmer to be humble, how difficult for us, with our multiplicity of wants, needs, desires, and views.  Remembering personal history, and how often things which seemed like victories came with barbs and traps, while that which often felt like defeat was actually a gateway to brighter vistas is of great help to me in staying balanced with the present moment.

 A powerful & excellent reminder to not judge situations or circumstances. A difficult childhood (my dad a Vietnam Vet was severely clinically depressed & tried to kill himself 5 times before I was 21, he died when I was 22) led me to great compassion & to seeking out joy in the small things in life which has led to creating Storytelling programs about discovering joy within the darkness. Being bullied in school also cemented compassion and a mission to never allow anyone to feel as hurt as I did which led to workshops with students & teachers. Anorexia and a 20 year challenge with body image also led to now speaking about it in public and hopefully helping others embrace & celebrate their bodies whatever their body size. A family that was fearful led me to stepping outside the comfort zone. The list goes on. Are there challenges? Yes, but I do believe that our challenges also can serve us and others. Nothing is 100% good or bad, everything is Maybe. HUGS... [View Full Comment]

 A powerful & excellent reminder to not judge situations or circumstances. A difficult childhood (my dad a Vietnam Vet was severely clinically depressed & tried to kill himself 5 times before I was 21, he died when I was 22) led me to great compassion & to seeking out joy in the small things in life which has led to creating Storytelling programs about discovering joy within the darkness. Being bullied in school also cemented compassion and a mission to never allow anyone to feel as hurt as I did which led to workshops with students & teachers. Anorexia and a 20 year challenge with body image also led to now speaking about it in public and hopefully helping others embrace & celebrate their bodies whatever their body size. A family that was fearful led me to stepping outside the comfort zone. The list goes on. Are there challenges? Yes, but I do believe that our challenges also can serve us and others. Nothing is 100% good or bad, everything is Maybe. HUGS to everyone.

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 We were singing today in the car, and to share what I was feeling, I sang a hindi song - "Ohre Taal mile Nadi ke jal mein" 

(The lake merges with the river....the river merges with the sea....but which water does the sea merge with....no one knows!)

So the 'I don't know' feeling is very alive for me at the moment - the very same action that we may consider helpful may actually be causing harm at other levels (and vice versa)

Which leaves me just having the present moment, and my spontaneous feeling as a space to act from - there, I can rest in knowing that what I did was natural, from the right intent and will have its own unfolding

I love and think of this story often. Being hit by a truck while riding my bicycle to high school led to a "bad" concussion and my being excused from classes and teenage restlessness.  This led to me meeting Deaf people and their beautiful visual language, changing me and my life.  Being neglected - left out of the dinner conversation - in a big family set me up to be empathetic and present when life confronted me with a languageless adult who opened a door I would never have seen.  I am now continuing to follow the unknown, traveling with no destination, after giving up my room and most of my "good" stuff, practicing letting go of my judgments and showing up where ever I am invited to share stories of losses, gains, wild horses, broken legs, and life and living in spite of war.