Seeking To Understand

Seeking to understand is how I've always tried to enter every encounter and it has opened up so many meaningful learning experiences and broadened my perspective. How? Seek to enter conversation asking: What is the Context? How can I see and honor Complexities with Curiousity and Compassion? These encounters happen often, but one particular example came to mind: An encounter with a woman at a restaurant during the Kavanagh hearings for his potential selection on the US Supreme Court. Context. We were both dining alone: she looked sad and seemed curious about me. She asked how was I so comfortable dining alone? We struck up conversation, I asked if she wanted to join me. She did. She shared about her recent divorce. I shared Compassion and transparency about my own divorce. Honored the Complexities. She shifted conversation to Kavanagh, very excited about him being considered. Curiousity/ compassion: I asked what resonated with her about Kavanagh. She shared. I listened. I told her I heard her and appreciated her perspective. She asked what I thought. I gently with Compassion shared that my views were different and that was ok. I shared I am a survivor of childhood sexual assault & molestation and that for me, it was challenging and that I felt for the woman he was allegedly accused of assaulting (as an 18 year old). She heard me. I did not seek to change her view. I truly listened and learned from her view. In this case Because I was asked, I gently shared my views, again without seeking to change her view. Only with seeking for us to understand each other's Context & Complexities. She told me it was the most civil conversation she'd had in 3 years! She asked for my email to stay in touch. I asked if we could Hug. We did. I admit in this example I shared my view too, because I was asked. Often I simply Listen. Today I am a Narrative Therapy Practitioner and honoring layers of Context and Complexities is how I seek to understand those who consult with me. Grateful

Kristin Pedemonti, I respect this post tremendously and my heart goes out to you in your strength to share. You have truly grown from that experience and are such an inspiration. I am grateful for you sharing and for all these responses posted here, thank you!