A Map To Here

Most of my life (and in most every aspect of it) I've been seduced by the mirage; believing in it, wanting it and headed toward it. It was an endless affair with possibility, imagination and creativity. Then I was blindsided by the reality of my husband being diagnosed with both Alzheimer's and cancer, within a year of each other. For a few years, everything collapsed into fear and grief, even as I faced the immensity of my new assignment. It sure was the end of "the affair" and my infatuation with the mirage. I am his full time caregiver and he is my teacher; still a remarkable man with an open heart who doesn't remember he has cancer. He knows he is dying and isn't concerned about it. Within the paradigm of surrender that the pandemic has ushered in, the truth of uncertainty is a resting place.... a "timeless, eternal Now moment."

What you're going through sounds like a very difficult and profound awakening. Thank you for sharing what you are going through. I wish you well with it.