MullaNasruddin'sbehavior indicates that he had already assumed that his wife Fatima was hard of hearing. On this assumption, he keeps on asking the same question "What are we having for dinner?". The angry tone of his voice was escalating getting louder and louder. He had lost his patience, pushed the door and repeated loudly the same question though he was right there in front of her. He himself behaved as if he was deaf.His misplaced inference made him act foolishly. It was a counterproductive stance. Such a stance caused a lot of headaches and conflicts in close relationships.
I have learned from my personal experiencesto listen to the other person without making inferences in advance about the other person. I have learned not to prejudge the other person's stance but to keep my mind open and receptive. This way I relate to the other person amicably and fruitfully. How do we relate to others who have different philosophies and ideologies without judging them is not always easy but it is worth trying and beneficial.
We all make inferences about other persons in our life. The problem arises when we prejudge them with a closed mind. As we know inferences and prejudgments are born in our mind and we remain stuck with them if we do not examine them and change them for our good and good of others in our life. I usually ask four questions in communicatingwith the other person: What do I want to communicate? How do I communicate? When do I communicate? And where do I communicate? Such questions help me to be engaged with the other person constructively and creatively.
May we cultivate the art of listening and responding to others in our life.
Namaste!
Jagdish P Dave
On Aug 20, 2021 Jagdish P Dave wrote :
I have learned from my personal experiencesto listen to the other person without making inferences in advance about the other person. I have learned not to prejudge the other person's stance but to keep my mind open and receptive. This way I relate to the other person amicably and fruitfully. How do we relate to others who have different philosophies and ideologies without judging them is not always easy but it is worth trying and beneficial.
We all make inferences about other persons in our life. The problem arises when we prejudge them with a closed mind. As we know inferences and prejudgments are born in our mind and we remain stuck with them if we do not examine them and change them for our good and good of others in our life. I usually ask four questions in communicatingwith the other person: What do I want to communicate? How do I communicate? When do I communicate? And where do I communicate? Such questions help me to be engaged with the other person constructively and creatively.
May we cultivate the art of listening and responding to others in our life.
Namaste!
Jagdish P Dave