A leader in my spiritual community hurt me deeply once. I idealized the relationship and couldn't see how I made that person feel insecure. So I relied on promises that were made that, in hindsight, I realized weren't made to be kept. And the promises ultimately broken. I was so deeply hurt, I walked away. I even tried to sway others to my side and in some cases was successful. But I deeply felt the lack of that community. With the passage of time, I realized that two people had to be forgiven for me to rejoin and remake the community for myself: the other person and me. The process of forgiving the other person had a lot to do with seeing them more clearly and accepting them. The process of forgiving myself had a lot to do with also seeing myself more clearly and accepting my imperfections. I have rejoined the community, but with firmer boundaries and a commitment to opening my heart when I sense it closing and moving back into old habits and stories.
On Jun 7, 2021 Ruby Grad wrote :