The Root Of The Root Of Your Self

Life is a difficult place for most of us, I recall contemplating suicide after my daughter killed herself by hanging. I had bought a dog leash and I picked a sturdy tree in a peaceful place from which to hang myself. My thoughts went from tragedy to a place of quiet in the midst of chaos. I let go and let the emotions take hold of my heart, unbearable grief consumed me for several hours as I sat underneath this tree of eternal freedom. A small bird landed in front of me and I thought about the timing and about my grandson Elijah who was not even 3 years old yet. I thought about the name I gave my daughter HOPE, and a small voice gentle and kind said why don't you wait until tomorrow and see if maybe you can see if it is a better day. I did just that and I prayed thinking about the small joys in life and how I would like to see my grandson go to college and how I would like to know his heart and show him that life can be extraordinary through love. I wake up each day with HOPE and I do my personal best each day. One day has turned into several days. Life is still life on life terms but I know God has a reason for each one of us, so I continue to wake up and do another day.

Your response to the poem has moved me. I hope you find more reasons to wake up every day - and that one day you find it is no longer a struggle but a blessing. I hear your story of your pain, and I'll keep you in my thoughts. Your grandson will be grateful for your courage.

I felt your pain so strongly as I read your comment. I admire your courage and hope so much! Your grandchildren can be the best blessing and source of hope and love, May God continue to bless you with each new day and help you to take one step at a time. Keeping you in my prayers.