Four Types Of Listening

I learned that communication is head to head, heart to heart, or soul to soul. For me, Scharmer's first two levels, downloading and object-focused listening, are head to head. I think his third level, empathic listening, is heart to heart. And the fourth level, which he calls generative listening, seems to be soul to soul. When I have enjoyed generative listening, I was very with the other in the present, paying close attention to the other and to what I was experiencing in response to the other, I was open, and the interaction was intimate for me and apparently also for the other. What helps me consciously choose my level of listening is my level of tiredness, my level of care, my level of interest, my level of trust. What also helps me is knowing that I can listen at different levels. Also, due to my desire for intimacy, I choose listening and speaking that are intimate, and I think such listening is what Scharmer calls generative listening.

As a professional counselor I have experienced the impact of the different styles of listening that I extend to those who seek me out professionally and seen their impact. They left me souless. After the session I felt empty, untouched. I woke up to the impact and over the years went through immense spiritual lessons and guidance to start listening to myself. I turned empathetic to my own needs. I began to impact me.
This became my pattern of listening towards my clients too. I give my whole self and listen to them. There is no 'Me' and 'Them'. It is only me. Devoid of all clutter in the head. I listen with my whole being.
The result is that they too feel that. Healing happens. we have connected sou to soul. In one field of consciousness interaction has happened.Client and Counselor disappeared. It was Being to Being.

Ambika -- Thanks for the response. Yes, I also think the soul to soul connection begins with listening to self, which I think makes it easier for the other to listen to his/her self. And I sure think soul to soul connection heals.

These words of yours struck a chord. "What helps me consciously choose my level of listening is my level of tiredness, my level of care, my level of interest, my level of trust."

For me , when I am unconscious and reacting in set ways then the "download" listening happens and often a reply gets prepared in me stemming from that pre-habituated opinion about the speaker.

I agree, Gururaj. I think by pre-habituated opinion you mean what I call preconceived opinion. When I reply from a pre-habituated opinion about the speaker, I am responding to my thinking and not to the speaker, which lessens or eliminates connection with the speaker.

Thank you for your post