here is what I found from last night. I noticed I was reacting to annoyances with too much weight. When my leg was falling asleep or I got an itch my mind reacted with some bad attitudes. In a better state of mind, I would just spread my leg for a few minutes or just touch the itch or just let it be. Hearing about one of my friends mention what she thought of the thought of the week made me think that you can't really think about past experiences and future expectations while meditation. You can only practice being mindful and observing my own body is a really good tool. Knowing how I reacted to little bit of suffering from sitting still made me think of how differently I can be. There was a little reading I got from Visha Niketan in Moratuwa, Sri Lanka, and it said to try to have a slight smile while focusing on my breath. I tried that. It felt silly, but different. as far as what the solution to my bad mood, that hasn't become apparent yet. Maybe it's just to be patient while I adjust to how I've changed? In any case there's a quote about how we sometimes need to be able to wait for mud to settle before trying to catch a fish in muddy waters (something like that?).
On Feb 6, 2008 supun wrote :