Several people responding have asked for help. I'm not an expert, by any means, but I have come to find over the past several years that once I was no longer scared of being on my own, of being with out a romantic relationship, I was happier and experienced a freedom I never knew. Letting go of that fear allowed me to embrace who I am (and I'm still working on that!) and love me, really care about myself. It changed everything. After I came to this understanding I met an amazing man and we are both experiencing a love that neither of us have ever known.
Part of that learning for me came from books (The Power of Now by Eckart Tolle, CoDependent No More by Melody Bettie where both significant) - I grew through journaling my feelings so I recognized my fears, and I let go of people in my life that were unhealthy for me and began to find that in doing all this that supportive, healthy, loving individuals came into my life.
Love cannot live where there is already fear. Let go of what you cannot control and start loving yourself first.
On Jan 9, 2008 Amanda wrote :