When life is going my way it is relatively easy , but when things are not going my way if someone I love is in pain it is very very difficult to just surrender . It is difficult to see their pain , memories of good times come back and there is so much pain , life stops , one cannot enjoy anything anymore , nothing seems to be worth it , there is sadness , there is pain felt in the chest , everything is heavy , there is so much suffering . If I could I would change things , I want to change things , I want to change the situation , I want to dissolve the pain , I want to run away , I want this to go , now . But there is no where to run , to hide . I am tired holding this pain , there is nothing more to do , I surrender , I am in a corner , I have hit the wall , now I surrender . I no longer can lift this burden , but before that I have to burn , I have to burn in my pain , this burning burns away the remaining ego , completely , I am humbled , I am nothing left , only the ashes that remain after the burning is complete . I melt away , I surrender completely . There is nothing I can do now . God , Lord , Divine , Higher presence , I drop the burden in your lap , I drop my resistance to what is , I let go holding this burden , I have burnt enough in the pain now I can no longer carry on . So I let go , I let go because I am tired . I am so tired . I surrender .
On Jul 28, 2015 Sanjay wrote :
When life is going my way it is relatively easy , but when things are not going my way if someone I love is in pain it is very very difficult to just surrender . It is difficult to see their pain , memories of good times come back and there is so much pain , life stops , one cannot enjoy anything anymore , nothing seems to be worth it , there is sadness , there is pain felt in the chest , everything is heavy , there is so much suffering . If I could I would change things , I want to change things , I want to change the situation , I want to dissolve the pain , I want to run away , I want this to go , now . But there is no where to run , to hide . I am tired holding this pain , there is nothing more to do , I surrender , I am in a corner , I have hit the wall , now I surrender . I no longer can lift this burden , but before that I have to burn , I have to burn in my pain , this burning burns away the remaining ego , completely , I am humbled , I am nothing left , only the ashes that remain after the burning is complete . I melt away , I surrender completely . There is nothing I can do now . God , Lord , Divine , Higher presence , I drop the burden in your lap , I drop my resistance to what is , I let go holding this burden , I have burnt enough in the pain now I can no longer carry on . So I let go , I let go because I am tired . I am so tired . I surrender .