Over the last month or so, I've had interactions with some co-workers that have felt unpleasant to me. It's been triggered by the things they say, how they say them, and then my own reaction to it all. In the moments when these interactions were happening, I was finding myself more caught up in the reactivity than not. Then after I would go home for the day, go for a walk, get some fresh air -- I would see more clearly the reaction I was having to these situations.
One day, I considered that my reactivity may be tied to "things not going my way." This person said something I didn't want them to say, or used a tone that I didn't want them to use, or that person didn't do something the way I would have liked. So one day I walked into work and decided that when one of these triggering interactions came up again, I would simply acknowledge to myself, "things aren't going the way I want right now." And I would surrender to that. The day I tried this, I found that even when people were saying and doing the same things, I felt more free and less reactive on the inside. This is still a daily practice for me, and I'm taking baby steps.
Also, I want to clarify that I don't think this means we have to be doormats. Sometimes it's important to communicate something clearly and directly, and stand up for something, but I think this can be done more wisely when we're in the right space ourselves.
On Jul 24, 2015 Smita wrote :
Over the last month or so, I've had interactions with some co-workers that have felt unpleasant to me. It's been triggered by the things they say, how they say them, and then my own reaction to it all. In the moments when these interactions were happening, I was finding myself more caught up in the reactivity than not. Then after I would go home for the day, go for a walk, get some fresh air -- I would see more clearly the reaction I was having to these situations.
One day, I considered that my reactivity may be tied to "things not going my way." This person said something I didn't want them to say, or used a tone that I didn't want them to use, or that person didn't do something the way I would have liked. So one day I walked into work and decided that when one of these triggering interactions came up again, I would simply acknowledge to myself, "things aren't going the way I want right now." And I would surrender to that. The day I tried this, I found that even when people were saying and doing the same things, I felt more free and less reactive on the inside. This is still a daily practice for me, and I'm taking baby steps.
Also, I want to clarify that I don't think this means we have to be doormats. Sometimes it's important to communicate something clearly and directly, and stand up for something, but I think this can be done more wisely when we're in the right space ourselves.