Our Environment Is An Integrated Whole

Making money is the means by which we become self-sufficient. This quest for success takes risks and when the risks reap financial rewards it creates pshchic rewards. There is enjoyment and high feeling when we prevail in challenging situations. There is also the enjoyment of work and work offers the arena to assert ourselves, and hence to maintain the sense of self. Making deals and taking risk is not only making money, it is a way of literally making more of ourselves.

Money is the yardstick which we measure ourselves and the success in life. Above all, money is the only thing we can depend on to feel self-sufficient. It is a source of security. Money seems certain. It is the sure means to get our way. Money is like ego inflation and once it is set in motion it is difficult to stop. So what is important about money is our ego and the other side of this coin is our pride.

The balancing between money and the ego, achieving something truly great for others, is getting past the ego. Getting past the ego can actualize an objective value, achieve real peace, or help others in concrete ways. The essence of greatness is the ability to find ways to alleviate the burdens of others and making life better for everyone. Peace and prosperity creates a common immediate circle to the world. This circle is not without ego, but the ego is in service of something outside. It influence others to obtain goals which is valuable to everyone.

The bottom line making money is empowering, and I hate to say this, but God is boring. The Psalm says, "Be still and know I am God" and to me this feels like resignation and giving up. When I am still my attention shifts away from any real needs. Ironically, I lose interest, little energy or little relating, and I drift off and others drift away. So this transcending the ego may take a high state of integration and transforming everything, but I have not adjusted to this black-hole where there is no achievement or no accomplishment. This stillness is closer to despair and depression than the glory of God.

I realize I want my ego gratified and I realize there is no making any sales pitch convincing to God to do otherwise. I just want to get out of this neutral gear and shift into overdrive of self-promotion. There is something within my ego that wants to advertise myself relentlessly and even make myself better than I am. However, this arrogant and cocky high impression never works, just as money never works to measure myself with God. I, therefore, feel bored and my experience of God is like gathering a cloud, which may produce great power or merely dissipate in the next breeze. Something is missing and I cannot quite put my finger on it, but I feel the lack none the less.

I can only say because I am not making money and I am on disability I am bored with life. Everything feels like nothingness. There is nothing to believe in, nothing true or nothing valuable. The darkness is rather perverse. There is also an underlying depths and a transformation within this nothingness that offers clarity. Yet to my ego mind I cannot understand it, so I feel boredom. Maybe there is a spiritual injunction "to be in the world but not of it" only I have not grasped this inner Essence that is beyond my ego mind. 

 Syd -- I don't agree with many of your statements.  And some I agree with.  I hope you don't mind my offering my reactions to your statements.  Money isn't the means by which we become self-sufficient.  Actually, none of us are or will be self-sufficient -- we just aren't -- we are interdependent.  Sometimes financial rewards result in psychic rewards, but not always.  Money is a yardstick by which we measure ourselves and our success in some situations, definitely not all.  There are different yardsticks for different frames.  Money can be a source of financial security.  Money isn't certain and isn't the sure means to get our way.  You're right that when money acquiring is set in motion it is hard to stop.  Making money can be empowering in some ways.  Being still is difficult for me too, and I think that's because I'm not very good at it yet.  I want ego gratification, too.  No doubt something is missing, for you and me and each of us.  You're not bored because you're not making money and on disability.  You're saying that there is an underlying depth and a transformation within the nothingness that offers clarity strikes me as very positive and hopeful -- don't ruin it by trying to understand. 

 I read you.
in my world, however, God is Who I come home to.  Out in the world, I feel as if I am tossed in an ocean.  It matters not that I know how to swim because the body of water is too great and too deep for me to save myself without outside help.  God is my Help.
if I were in a "controlled environment" 24/7 (on the other hand) . . . Not free to use my God given mind, gifts and abilities . . . I would be less than happy.  There is little worse than someone else dictating your life.  For this reason, too, I seek God.  In Him, I live and move and can BE who He's called me to be.  Human bosses are not my favorite.  God is my Boss and today (this moment) He said, "write . . . Someone needs you". 
ILY!

 
David, I thank you deeply for being real with me and I thank you for telling me not to "ruin" my (our) transformation by trying to understand it.  From within your words I hear you saying I can no longer impose my thoughts on life.  This place seems like transcending rational thought and it moves into a level beyond comprehension, theories and symbols.  It feels like from this transformaton we become an observer or a witness.  It is learning to BE.  So I appreciate you being real with me, being concrete, and making truth a direct experience. 


Make no apology for who you are David, as your faith speaks for you, your stability and your support.    

Joy, thank you for your faith and thank you for allowing your faith to be your starting point in life.  Your faith is your value and you offer a special hope.  Thank you! 

 As DO YOU!