This is the True Ride

I was listening to one master the other day and he said that instead of running away from difficult situations in life , stay with them and observe , let the feeling and emotions that arise within your body burn you , burn away the seeds of your karma . He said the suffering will burn you and let it burn , sit with it , feel it completely, you will shake , you will shiver and sweat , you want to run away , but don't do that , let the burning happen . Drop your struggle with suffering , accept and let it burn you so completely that nothing is left . That he said is nirvana , not being at peace and feeling good , but burning with your suffering .

Thank you for that.  I'm so tired of hearing "get over it already'!  And "life is what you make it -- get out there & have more fun!"  I'm grieving and I don't know how long that will take.  I am feeling betrayed and bewildered and I don't know how long that will be true.  I've never been able to paint a happy face on and pretend things are just fine when they aren't.  Thanks for permission to feel what I feel for as long as I feel it.

 Why do I never remember anyone advising us to allow the pain and suffering to burn us up?  All the karma or negative energy, or desires good or bad, memories, attachments to energetic patterns of behavior that just don't work, allowing all of this to burn within the pain.  Sometimes I feel dull, asleep, deadened.  Is this because I have been so completely "burned up?"  Or does it denote I am not awake?  How does one tell?
"Is your life working and bringing you joy and fulfillment?"  Sure, sometimes.
"Is your life full of anxiety and potential disaster?"  Sure, sometimes.
How much patience do you have?  More all the time.  Took four hours to find car insurance yesterday, but I never got angry or lost my belief that something would work out, I would be led to the right person and company eventually.
How generous are you with your talents and money?  I feel I am very generous now but can and plan to become even more so.  I want to give massage sessions by donation only.  Massage comes from the heart.  The true source of our emotional intelligence.
I cannot ever "pretend" I am not in pain, heart-broken, or desiring revenge.  These are emotions I honestly admit to experiencing.  They are always feelings which cause me to feel suffering.... now, there is a purpose for this process. Perhaps I can even learn to benefit from its consequences.  I do feel more accepting and more flexible.  Still, painful episodes will happen.  Thanks for the perspective of a hopeful and productive outcome.

 The other thing this master spoke about was , surrender . He said that surrender the outcomes of external events to whatever you believe in God , Guru , Self . He said whatever is happening , is happening , so there is no way to run / hide . So surrender the external events to divinity , drop the doership . Then whatever happens through you is the divine playing out itself , you are not the doer . So externally surrender , completely and internally burn completely with your pain and suffering , stay with it let it burn till nothing is left , that is the way to dissolve the karmas , thae vasanas . Once the vasanas (impressions) are dissolved , there is nothing more to be learnt . True masters welcome such burning , they welcome suffering and the leassons it has to teach . As I reflect I see there is no other way . I have run away enough from pain that I dont want in life and yet it shows up , there is nowhere to run , no where to hide . I dont want it but it is there right in front of me . All I can do is surrender to the divine and sit with my suffering , burn with it , see it . After you drop the labels sadness , anxiety , worry , anger , fear you look at it colsely , you will feel it in your body , maybe tightness in your chest , a knot in your stomach , just sit with it , hold it withing your arms with love . let the burning be complete so that there is no residue left . It is then that you will be free . I am doing that now with a difficult situation I am facing in life , yet again .

 I absolutely love idea and feeling of surrender.  I impart it consciously through the work that I do.  But when is "surrender" equal to "giving up?"  I recently had to retreat from one version of a dream I had held, manifested, and then found myself sabotaging or perhaps simply failing to be in sync with the organization I felt forced to leave.  Did I "give up"?  Not discipline myself to conform to the needs of the group as my passion for my work overwhelmed my more "rational" senses.  Is it:  "follow your bliss" or "surrender to whatever is happening in the present?  I am trying to do both.  I hold deep hope, faith and patience that my bliss will be possible to follow in a major manifestation around September, 2014.  In the meantime, there is little I can do or make to forward the manifestation of my bliss.  This is the place where surrendering to whatever is happening takes over. It is NOT a feeling of "giving up," but "waiting for the time to be right."
Timing and surrender go hand in hand, the same as timing and action must be in snyc to bring success and perhaps a few moments of fulfillment.
When we can do nothing to help others or stop suffering in the world, surrendering to our own present moments can be all we can do.... and send strong positive energy to those living in need.
Sometimes, I feel I must burn in suffering even with all who are now struggling on this earth.... as we "live through the 6th Extinction."  Many are and will suffer yet as climates change, crops grow differently or not at all, water levels rise and weather patterns change.  The stresses on mankind will be great.  Will these problems accepted and then dealt with as realistically as possible by a cohort of surrendered individuals?  Are we being led to learn to "stick through our deepest suffering" in order to prepare for the harsher times to come?
These ramblings come flowing through from the inspiration of your writing today.  Thank you.  I have never been moved to reply so much to comments I have read.  It feels good to let these things be said, at last.

 Blessings Sanjay.  Such truth. _/\_

That speaks so closely to the situation I'm in now that I'm going to print this and keep it handy.  Thank you.

 Sanjay, I think it was Osho who said that. I find so much inspiration and truth in his words.