This is the True Ride

 "Grieving our losses fully, without being betrayed by them" means to me to grieve deeply and fully while having and moving into the realization that nothing is permanent, everything that comes into form goes out of form, and to accept that reality.  All that is, animate and inanimate, loved ones, friends, pets, treasured things and our own self, is in form for a while.  I think we are betrayed by ourselves, not by them, by our not accepting the impermanence, clinging to what is in form, staying stuck in our grieving and not going on in our becoming.  Life goes on, as the saying says, and we betray ourselves by not going on.  Life's exquisitely precise compassion means to me that everyone who was dear and significant to me, along with every one and every thing that was, continues to be with me, no longer in form but in spirit, and are as dear and significant to me as when in form.  We develop the strength to stop making deals for a safe passage by, as the author says, waking up and growing up, learning to accept life on its terms, which will I believe help us with our passage and help us accept our our passage.

 Just what does it mean to grieve "completely and fully" I ask myself.  My husband lost his battle to live in July of 2008.  I remain here in the same house we bought together, reliving daily.  But I carry on; with lack of money and
anger at the world for lack of compassion.  Both families have remained silent; a testiment I have heard echoed in the "times" and struggle to find a way "out of my thoughts" 24/7.   His was a series of medical calamities that lasted for 6 months.  I struggle to see him again "on the other side."

 I sympathize. I, too, lost my husband eight years ago to an unforeseen long tragedy and not a day goes by that I don't love him and miss him. Grief takes as long as it takes and if it goes on beyond your ability to live a life of substance and value to yourself, then seeing a psychologist who specializes in grief can help immeasurably. My work is such, and I know personally the pain involved in this type of loss is cataclysmic, and yet you are alive and go on, and you will find your way. Maybe a helping loving hand through this would be a resource for you. Perhaps to know that he continues in your heart and his essence is always in the world will help.

 Beautiful share by you Blythe.

In thanks.  I know he is where he needs to be; ending suffering but am concerned about us.  I have had a therapist since before his passing but I am nowhere near where I want to be but am grateful to the heavens that we are still here with my medical condition.