Staying In Your Own Business

I was married to a man for 30 years and we were always in each others business instead of our own. I was so dependent that I needed to know what he was thinking, if he loved me, was he seeing someone else, was I thin enough for him, etc. He, on the other hand, was in the business of improving me - I should be thinner, I should do this to the kids, I should know what he wants, I should be there for him, etc. I woke up one day to this relationship that had no selves and had to leave. Each day I work on myself in order to be able to give and see and care the right way about the reality and others.

 Abby -- Congratulations, and thank you for what you shared.  I thought of a favorite quote of mine in reading your message.  Martin Buber said pretty close to the following: "If I am I because you are you and you are you because I am I, then I am not I and you are not you.  But if I am I because I am I, and you are you because you are you, then I really am I and you really are you, and we can meet."  My sometimes effort is to keep growing in that.