Bedrock On Which We All Stand

I really enjoyed this passage, and the awakin circle discussion around it last night.  Here is a recent story to add to the mix:

Last weekend I found myself in a frustrated moment--by back bike wheel has been stolen couple days prior, and the bus driver had just denied my entry onto the bus, which I was planning to take to a community bike shop to fix it up.  Definitely plenty of separateness in that moment, you could say. :)  As I trudged down the street with my bike, thinking over plan B and C, a little flash of realization occured: that this thinking feels myopic.  Yes I want to take care of my bike somehow, but I don't want to do it whilst curling into a discontented shell within myself and forgetting the world around me.

As it happens, the sounds of some folks yelling at each other caught my attention as I walked by a small street that was one-way blocked off to cars adjacent to the bigger street I was walking on.  It took me a moment to make senes of the scene: a young-ish couple, man and a woman, were unloading their small pickup truck and placing large pieces of junk--old boxspring, tattered couch, etc--on the street, tucked up against the one-way road block signs; and pursuing them angrily was an older man, maybe 60s, expressing his thorough discontent, "Don't dump your stuff (not exact words) on my street!"  Huh!  Not something you see everyday.

I approached the two men just as things were startig to get heated, with the older man getting angrier as they would not heed his warnings, and the younger man stepping defensively in between this man and his wife.  I'm generally fairly soft-spoken, so my first attempt to reason with the two men--"Hey guys, I'm sure you're both decent people; this is a sticky situation, but we don't need to escalate it like this"--got their attention for all of .5 seconds before they were back in each other's faces, with the older man beginning to make mild gestures to hold them back.

Longer story short, the yelling started bordering on physical aggressiveness, and the young couple, now done unloading, was getting back into their truck to take off.  It was clear no resolution was going to come in this moment, yet the older man, now more frustrated, continued yelling at the young couple (after the young man expressed in his own frustration how that approach "made him care even less").

Calm words weren't working, and physical intervention didn't seem like a good idea (nor would anyone recommend that for me ;))...I decided to yell myself.  (And though I didn't think it through fully consciousy in that moment, in retrospect I think it was out of caring, for all of them, not out of negativity.)  I raised my voice, directing it at the older man, saying that's enough, this is not cool, you may have a point but this is not the way to convey it (in a yelling voice, that is).  It seemed to reach the older man just enough to stun him out of the moment, at least briefly.  The young couple pulled away in the truck.  And then it was the older man and myself, looking at each other from across a gap the width of a truck.  Huh...now what?  Will his anger spill over to me?  Is this the part where we awkwardly scratch the back of our heads and kind of shuffle away?  Will we take a moment to debrief what in humanity just occured here?

Thankfully it turned out to be the latter. "Phew.  Maybe you're right; I did get a bit heated there," said the older man.  "Yea, you were running pretty hot..." I agreed.  "But isn't that outrageous?!  Dumping their dumpstuff (again not exact words) like that?!" his frustration returning.  "I mean, what would you do??"  I echoed the inquiry, "Yea, what *can* you do when trying to confront a wrong?" [or an apparent one]  We held the question together, and I ended up empathizing with my own situation--my one-wheeled bike still slung over my shoulder that whole time--sharing the experience of processing an unfortunate situation and wondering what to do next.

And this is where the passage talking about relationships as a bedrock, and moving towards wholeness struck a chord for this microcosm story.  All of a sudden the older man snaps his fingers and says, "Come with me!  I think I have an extra wheel in my shed."  How striking and almost graceful it was, his shift from venting to helping.  Part of me was hesitant, but another part recognized his positive intentions and felt good about supporting them.  Plus, I did need a wheel.  We walked towards his shed and kept talking through this thread of inquiry.

The story with him went on, including the wheel, connecting around the same professional field that had just retired from and I'm just entering, further reflecting on human nature & relationships and each of our subconscious blind spots, etc.  Part of the story was certainly relationships leading the way towards wholeness (my bike regained wholeness too! after some days and couple more shop visits).  At the same time fragmentation still remains, even from this microcosm--not being able to connect with this younger couple, the seeming chasm of understanding between folks coming from different places, just to name a couple.  I'll leave it there for now; thank you for your attention.

 Wow, this is a pretty cool story!  Relates also to last weeks reading by Timber Hawkeye and the question in his thought on wrongs and understanding, empathising with those that do the perceived wrong... and then here you are connecting it to wholeness, wow, good stuff!

The situation you approached worked out somehow for you and the old man - happily.

I struggle with stepping in or stepping up these days, when I see a wrong.  I'm a pretty plain spoken person and fierce about fairness and doing right. I've picked up a few peoples stuggles in an effort and with desire to help a situation. For me, I'm in a pausing mode at present, when I witness perceived wrongs. Living in a different country and culture and interacting with others from round the world, gives ways to many, many different perspectives on right and wrong, good and bad... I appreciate your attempt to do right and bring right and calm and a broader vision/perspective to the situation here in your story.

Susan

 Congratulations, Chris, on doing what you did.  Seems to me it took courage for you to get involved as you did, and apparently some good came from it.  Your story is inspiring for me.  Thanks for sharing.