Processing Anger With An Open Heart

 I read this story – once, twice, three time, I got it the first time, but  It’s just when we  think of anger or have to take the mind back to an anger moment  that it triggers ‘thought’ on how I have conducted myself, or how I could have conducted myself in anger situations. The brain doesn’t actually like to go back to self anger moments  :-) Anger is the brother to hate and It is so true the anger emotion is within us all, the anger virus is not only conscious level its subconscious level, where anger manifests into physical and irreversible physical diseases.. I remember growing up with anger, of course my father was an angry person who taught my mother how to be angry and of course we inherited ‘anger’ in our lives. In early childhood I thought it was the normal to get angry at everything and by not being taught the differences, only because my father didn’t know, I went off into the world with small expectations, well it didn’t take long to fall on my face and fail friendships, partners, jobs, expectations, me and a little bit of life, yep, good old anger infiltrated everything. I hadn’t quite hit rock bottom, but when I was cheated on by someone who I thought I was going out with, I stopped and though I am angry and I hate him, only to realise I was angry at my self and had been for many many  years, so I disassociated – naturally and went on a different path, Thank you Mr cheating boyfriend, for giving me the moment to stop and think how wonderful I really was. So time passed and I learned to look at myself when angry and see what the go was. What the ego was playing at, at why I’m allowing myself to be distracted from what’s actually going on, because anger does that. Of course I get angry still, but at a different level’ with some politics, the state of the poor world, the 10% of wealthy compared to 90% of poor, but this anger is with an open mind and I think first of what is going on around me and not anger first.  So years later I got a text from that lousy ex boyfriend and we spoke and spoke and I realised I wasn’t angry at him I was sorry and was always sorry, I let my anger go a long time ago, I held no expectations on him as he is having to learn his way in life, with emotions, with being present  – the hard way – sadly, he has become an text friend you chat with every so often to wish merry christmas to. So for me, anger has taken me to many different emotions, manifestations of disease and  some wonderful understandings of anger and its anger fuel – that being ‘ones own self’. So no matter what we learn , how we grow, what we think we are capable of, even if we stub our toe – we are going to get some form of anger :-)  we all share being a bit angry at things. will we grow to outgrow it - I don't think so, as its a part of the 'life learning' will we understand it better the more we stop and think of our anger actions and open up to them - Yes I do believe we will and can, some/many have and some will learn to enjoy the new freedom it brings .. Thanks for the reflection – It was really a reflection xox