One of the most profound changes I have experienced is recognizing that attachment to the outcome of my actions was the source of negative emotions...emotions that I could eliminate by removing the attachment to outcome. If I choose to do something for another person, there used to be an unconscious attachment to how my action would affect them. I pictured something positive...and if that didn't happen, it made me sad, or angry, or frustrated, etc. Once I became aware of this, I have worked toward doing...or not doing...with no attachment to outcome. I've been asked how one can separate the two because doing something implies a goal...and that goal is the attachment. So why would I be motivated to do anything if I didn't have that goal? I may now be a bit more selective about what I choose to offer in a given situation, but once I started monitoring my attachment to outcome, it has become much easier to do...or not do...and then walk away without looking back. It is not that I "don't care." It's that I realize I don't have the right to dictate the behavior of others.
On Jun 27, 2017 Judy Yero wrote :
One of the most profound changes I have experienced is recognizing that attachment to the outcome of my actions was the source of negative emotions...emotions that I could eliminate by removing the attachment to outcome. If I choose to do something for another person, there used to be an unconscious attachment to how my action would affect them. I pictured something positive...and if that didn't happen, it made me sad, or angry, or frustrated, etc. Once I became aware of this, I have worked toward doing...or not doing...with no attachment to outcome. I've been asked how one can separate the two because doing something implies a goal...and that goal is the attachment. So why would I be motivated to do anything if I didn't have that goal? I may now be a bit more selective about what I choose to offer in a given situation, but once I started monitoring my attachment to outcome, it has become much easier to do...or not do...and then walk away without looking back. It is not that I "don't care." It's that I realize I don't have the right to dictate the behavior of others.